Nag-a-thon


Really?? Yes Really?? It took us 5 days to get our Christmas stuff down and put away…..The hubster and I are well known for having our Christmas décor down put away, boxed up , outta here ….tree is usually at the curb by 2pm on yes that very same day. For the past 15 years that has been our tradition, last year I let it slide and did it the very next day Dec. 26th .. okay so that wasn’t so bad…. BUT this year OMG – 5 days?? Every call I got or person I saw would say “Oh I know you already have your stuff down and put away! You always are so fast to get it done!” ...... ME: “Errrr..um… ..well no not yet”. And then you hear the GASP  …”But you ALWAYS have it down on Christmas!!”

Whelp not this year!!! 5 days of me….. as the hubster likes to say …. “NAGGING” yes 5 days of “Nagging” about getting the bins down to get Christmas packed up and put away…… so yesterday I guess I finally wore him down ( or maybe he noticed I was developing an eye twitch with each and every passing day). He then so foolishly said “There this should stop all your nagging” REALLY? You silly silly hubster – do you actually think that will stop me dead in my tracks??? Um no … but at least you give me something to write about!! Gotta love when he provides me with ammo… oh I mean material to blog about! Not that I don't have tons of random thoughts that plow through my head on a daily basis ... I just don't have time to get them down and out before the next thought occurs...... but maybe that'll change I ended up getting 5 journals between my birthday in November and Christmas!!! I could store one every where and always have a spot to jot stuff down!

Who would have thought that when I googled “Nagging Wife” to get a funny picture that so many images would appear (thankfully mine was not one of them )!!! Really this must be an epidemic – so dear hubster it’s not just you that has to suffer with the “nagging wife”! So this got me thinking while I walked little Jack this morning at 6:30am – the same dog that P.C. promised with every bit of his soul that HE would be WALKING ….Morning, Noon and Night …. Yeah that hasn’t happened ……it’s like pulling teeth to make him go with me to WALK HIS DOG!!! At this point I am so attached to Jack that I think I would return P.C. to the shelter and keep the dog!! After all he is always happy to see me!!

Anywhooooo …. I started thinking about “New Year Resolutions” ~ you know with New Year hovering over us, starting 2014 fresh and leaving 2013 in the dust. What should my resolutions actually be? And would I actually keep them? Hummm …let’s see maybe I could modify them to fit my needs so that they would be attainable…

1. Stop nagging the hubster and PC (unless it serves a purpose i.e. getting decorations put away in a timely manner, getting P.C. out of the shower before there is no water left in the county, yelling at P.C. to pick up his dirty clothes, clean the genie pigs cage because it stinks, walk the dog…. )

2. Get my craft table cleaned up and organized ( unless I am in the middle of a project – then the craft table is a work in progress)

3. Shop less and work with what I have in my closet (unless it’s a REALLY good sale that I can’t pass up and I have to have it … and of course using gift cards doesn’t count!) Somehow I don’t think this one will work for me … for long …

4. Eat healthier and plan meals and snacks to make it actually happen! (Over the past year I have discovered I hate grocery shopping as well as cooking ….humm guess I better get over that eh?)

5. Don’t gain weight (well it seemed like a better idea then saying “Lose weight” because I am trying to make goals I could keep… somewhat)

Well there you go, I am sure there are many, many more promises that I will think of that “should” be on the list but it’s a start for now .. … and that’s all I am looking for is a Fresh Start for 2014!

Happy New Year !!!



Decking The Halls

That picture just makes me smile :) Yes there he is my little Jack who is now 26.4 lbs. of happiness - growing at a rapid pace.....still hoping we are not mixed with St. Friggen Bernard... The one who is happy to see me at every waking moment (his or mine). He was really excited when we brought the xmass tree inside....luckily for us he squats to pee (like a girl dog)  and doesn't realize that boy dogs hike their legs and pee on trees and everything else they come across to smell ( thank you doggy gods that he was fixed early)!!

I took an old fire place screen and made a doggy/ cat gate to block off the tree.... Ok ok I know that NOTHING would keep the cats from leaping ever so gingerly over my newly created barrier.....or walking along the back of the couch and on to the windowsill jumping down only to tease the dog while they poked their paws through the openings ... with a "Hahahaha we can get back here and you can't taunt" but this year they don't have much interest in the tree ... that could be because they are to busy leaping onto higher ground to keep away from Jack!!!
 Just to be on the safe side I made sure all MY PIG ornaments were hung HIGH in the tree (just incase any fell we wouldn't want THOSE ones eaten) and hung stockings with care...and to top it off - doused everything with "Apple Bitter Spray" so he wouldn't eat everything!!! And let me just say.... that shit works!!! Jack smells the stockings and walks away... smells all the xmass decorations ...and walks away ......well then he decided he'd eat his doggy bed while no one was looking!!!

Side note: Santa - Jack needs a new bigger bed - he outgrew (and ate his) old one.....

Have you noticed that every year it's a WTF ...how did x-mass get here so fast?? It's on the calendar the same time every friggen year!! Same day ...never changing .......but now it's like a speeding train...a speeding bullet ...oh no it's just x-mass!!!

I could pretty much just hit "DITTO" from last year's blog post the only difference is that it's 20 days till x-mass and not 5! But it is  after 3am and my anxiety is through the roof, and not only is my craft table a hot mess, but I have also exploded over onto the bar ....my area is so outta control I had my glue gun plugged in at the Hubster Coffee Bar - which by the look on his face and the twitching eye is a NO NO ...(and it was only for a quick second) but still his eye was twitching and the brow was arched and he wanted to know WHY I was there .....with the glue gun.... Well duh...because I needed a plug that I could find!!! Hummm... he has offered to help clean OUT the craft area.... no no no .... that wont be necessary ...I 'll get to it ...eventually!!Before xmass actually arrives ...which at the speed it's traveling will be ...like tomorrow!!

So if you need a little pep in your step or just want to up the holiday anxiety to a new level click here and see the Christmas Clock Count Down ......... 

Craft-tastic Times

I had a buddy ask me to post some of my projects I have worked on and finally my craft table is clean ..er... ..(hahaha) well it's cleaner ....then it was...or then it has been .......okay okay I still have a lot of shit on the craft-tastic table but I've been uber busy with projects over the last few months!! But I finally can see a semi- clean spot ~  Between hosting and /or attending baby showers, birthday celebrations and the school's silent auction baskets  I have been busy being Crafty!!! From diaper cakes, invites, and then I got on a roll making all types of bouquets.

Give me some wooden sticks and my glue gun add a few mini bottles of booze, shoot glasses,  make up, onesies, washcloths, soaps, rubber ducky ....anything I could get my hands on will work. ...and you get these fun-tab-u-lous little gifts!!!

Who's Your Daddy??



"Who's your babies Daddy"?? Well that is the question these days.... And I am referring to my baby Jack and not PC!! So we know that Jack is a "Border Collie Mix" but what is he mixed with?? We have heard it all from Lab, Terrier, Pointer Dog, Dalmatian oh and my personal favorite St. Friggen Bernard..... THAT seems to be the favorite comparison people have!! Are they nuts??? They poop things bigger than Jack out on a daily basis so here's hoping its not St. friggen Bernard!!! Hummmm so who do you think Jack's Daddy could be?? I am thinking he looks like the "Pointer Dog" and he even does that pointy thing with his tail.....when he is chasing everything that runs.... really they all start to look alike after awhile don't they??

Back in the day it really wouldn't matter what Jack was mixed with, he'd just be a " Border Collie Mix" a.k.a. " Mutt" and that would be that.....but now a days people just wanna know ..... and can you believe they offer DNA testing for DOGS!!! WTH?? Are you kidding me??? DNA testing for a dog?? Do you really need to know that bad??? Well apparently if I do there are several options ranging from $30 - 150.00 and I'd learn Jack's heritage maybe even who his grand pups were! 
Would it be reliable? From reading various reviews I'd say no, and do I really need to know? Nope I don't! I could buy to many pairs of shoes for the cost of a DNA test for my pup!!! OR I could pick up something for my little Jack - yep I am quickly becoming one of "those people" ...... I can't resist picking up a new bandana, bone or a squeaky toy....after all he is the one who is happy to see me every time I enter the room whether I am gone for 10 seconds or 8 hours! That tail wag just melts your heart!!!

So far the genius four legged baby has been to 2 puppy training classes and has master the art of "Sitting" ...especially sitting in front of the dog trainer with the treat cup hooked to her hip... so "Sitting" and "Barking" at her to give him a treat because HELLO.... he is sitting!!!! So we are working on "Watch Me" ... yea he is watching you all right, watching to make sure you get that friggen treat out fast or we will start "Barking"!!! But he is learning... he has learned which door is to the pantry at home and hey... isn't that where we keep his treats??? Why yes it is... just look at that tail go!!!

We also have learned "Leave it" hummm we have yet to master that as I was pulling a FLAT DEAD crunchy TOAD out of his mouth this morning!!! EWWWW I'd rather go back to crunchy worms!!! Yuck!!
I know all I need to know about Jack, he is here to stay.....even if he's riding the short bus in puppy training class!!!

ALSO hoping that Jack is in NO relation to a NEWFOUNDLAND DOG!!! I may need to get that DNA testing after all!!!

JUST ONE


In the early years of Prince Charming everyone always had a comment and the age old question of ......."Oh......when will you have another" or "Oh…. he needs a brother or sister to play with - he can’t be an only child" (almost like it is a disease).  My usual responses were to the point and very matter of fact....some examples:

1. "NEVER- are you crazy have you met this child- one is more than enough for me"
2. "I was an only child...and look how perfect I turned out! Why spoil it by adding another in the mix? "
3."HA- you couldn't pay me to have another!”

4." And who would be paying for this addition? Should I send the bills to you?"

Other examples contained extremely colorful sentence enhancers especially if “we” (me and the gem) had a rough day - which was known to happen on occasion!
I am sure I have many more, because in 12 years it has been asked more than a zillion times!!! Usually I toss in a reason or two as why PC is more than enough....like the time I got up to make a bottle and came back to our living room and the 7 month old baby was gone... as in missing... as in I turned my back for not even 60 seconds to go 2 feet away while he played with his toys on the floor. Yepper he was gone in a flash! I could hear giggling and a clinking noise as I frantically searched the tiny living room for my tiny human ....I turned around to see that my sweet angle (bahahaha) had OPENED  the CHILDPROOF lock on the gate that surrounded the fireplace and he SHUT it behind him, as he took the broom and was swinging it above his head... as he sat in the fireplace giggling.... covered in soot!! Yes there was my messy bundle of joy ... in the fireplace...and you think I should have an accomplice for him to play with?? WTF are you thinking???
Or how about the fact that he was walking at 9 months old so by the time he was a year old he was more like a 3 year old and jumping off the tops of the jungle gym, racing around the other “non-walkers” and grabbing their “corks”! And by “corks” I mean their pacifiers!!! He thought the sound that those wee ones would make was hysterical because he would race by them, grab that cork and pull and off he would go while the siren (or screaming child) would go off! Yes, I was quite a popular mom at the playground that’s for sure! How about the time we got kicked out of “Story Time” at the public library, seriously?? Who bands a child who is not even a year old from attending story time?? Don’t you want him to grow up and be an avid reader??  Apparently the evil librarian who told me “If you cannot control your child, you cannot attend story time!”.  Really the problem was PC would run up to knock on the castle door to see the puppets come out instead of the bitter old hag (aka evil librarian)! Who can blame him?

How about this one… First ER visit.....

Superior what???

I haven't exactly figured out how it works yet .....that testing they did at school over the summer, I  got a 12 page report of all psycho babble that I didn't really understand so before PC's appointment with the doctor I sent it to him to review... figured he'd be able to explain it!! I looked it over and thought - wow the scores look good to me! Well  I got that part right and than some!! Apparently this was an IQ test, and my little gem - Prince Charming himself has scored with "Superior Intelligence" (not sure what that really means other than he is smarter than I am - which I had already come to that conclusion)  and we should expect nothing less than an A with an occasional B on his report card... which BTW the doc was also looking at and it had 2 A's 3 B's and 2 (gasp) D's. I (sadly) expected the D in PE - I mean seriously?? Your failing P.E??? The other D which I did not expect was in Language Arts..... he has the same teacher for Reading which he had an A in but didn't "feel like doing the work in LA" REALLY ?? Well now he has that grade back up to not just an A but A plus!! It goes to show you that when he has his mind set he can do anything and when he has no desire to do it ... he doesn't !!!

I had a conference this week and they all gave a great report, that he is super bright and WHEN he produces work he does GREAT work.... but that he is lazy... oh and his Research Teacher said he is doing Awesome in Research class has great ideas and helps others on the computer.....  and this is also his PE teacher and the report for that class...... was total opposite...  he does not participate at all in PE unless they are doing something in the classroom and are not outside!!!Humm guess  that is why the little genius is failing the easiest class there is!!!

Jack the Magician

I want a  pink one, not to light not to dark ...maybe hot pink so it stands out... oh right a pink what?? A Pink Straight Jacket! Because clearly I have gone off the deep end! The boys like to strike while it's hot.. or while I am running a fever ... last time I had a fever and was sick Prince Charming nagged me into submission and we ended up with "Buddy" the guinea  pig... .. this time ... we ended up with "Jack" a 2 month old Border Collie mix .....  how could I NOT be talked into this cute little ball of fur... every time I opened my iPad there his face was screaming adopt me .. adopt me...and well that's exactly what we did. (See why I need a straight jacket???) I tried to resist and remind both the Hubster and PC  "how much work and responsibility a puppy is.. and have you read up on Border Collies???? They are high energy!!! Need lots of exercise and yada yada yada......" I held out until the shelter reopened on a Tuesday and we were first in line when they opened..... yep I was suckered!!!!

The deal is that the Prince was going to be the one who walks him, cleans up after him, does the dog training with him etc. 2 days into the wonderful world of "New Puppy Parenthood" I get home and the Hubster was sound asleep on the couch (long day with the puppy) and PC jumps up and says "Oh Thank God your home, I need a break!! I have been watching him since I got home from school ( ohhhh almost 3 whole hours... wow...)  It's your turn to watch him!" He jumps up and runs into his room..... yep I was suckered!!!!

Adventures of the ER


Why is it some  days are full of excitement while others are full of WTF's ...the hubster hasn't been feeling to good and he actually wanted to go to the ER. So when a man actually asks to be taken to the ER .... You know that somethings wrong!! So off to the ER we go ... Who knew it would be such an adventurous time!

At  least the ER had an interesting cast of characters to keep me entertained.  One man came in with his hand in a bag and his buddy followed him with a big gulp drink  and stood behind him shaking it... Next in walked the bossman ( and the one that spoke English). Everyone scrambled around him to try and figure out what happened. His buddy being the good friend I can only image he was continued to shake the cup at people.... The nurses finally figured out what was in the cup.... The other guys finger!!! See what did I say ....anyone that would put your cut off finger in their drink MUST BE A GOOD FRIEND!!! I cant even begin to count on one finger ......much less my whole friggen hand how many friends that I would let put their finger in my sweet tea!! Sorry guys.. that's just icky!! And I missed the memo that says ER and Wal-Mart are the 2 places it is totally acceptable to be braless in your jammies, socks and slippers too of course! Clearly I was way over dressed after all I had a bra and a shirt on with my jeans and flip flops!!
 
We finally get called back and put in a room and in comes the NP  who really looks  like she could be 12...a mini Doogie Howser. The nurse we had while very nice really could have used a larger pair of scrubs... when she bent over I didn't get just a crack shot or even a  half moon...nope the entire moon was shining as she bent to fix a cord... as PC would say " I cant UNSEE that"!!
 

Going on the Record

Incase you are wondering NO I did not make it to You Tube as "Crazy Mama at Camp" well not that I have seen or heard about at least! So we will go with that, I think I'd rather NOT know! The past several weeks have flown by, we had graduation of Technology Camp where I believe Prince Charming averaged 3-4 days per week for 10 weeks... AMAZING ...much better than our last summer with the count of 8 whole days attended in 10 weeks!!! So I will go on the record and say it's official folks we are making progress!! In more ways than one....

We also had open house for school, he will attend the private school again as he thrived in that environment. At open house  Prince Charming went racing around to each class like a speeding bullet and was done and ready to go in like 5 minutes (seriously cant you do that when I'm in a friggen hurry)!!! The hubster and I had to wrangle the super secret class schedule away from PC so we could actually go and meet his teachers, see what classes he was taking and well...give any needed warning to any new teachers he may have!! I was told by several of the teachers how smart, brilliant and amazing that PC is......well one of the teacher also added in that he was such a smart young man, that he has had the most intellectual conversations with him (most days I am friggen clueless on what he is talking about... don't even get him started on Science), and that his mind is absolutely amazing!! But ~ (really??? there is always a but now isn't there... )  that he is LAZY!!! Hubster and I had to laugh at that one... because we already know that!! All in all it was a great start to a new fresh year! Well with the exception that he doesn't want to take PE which luckily is the last class of the day for him ...so suck it up......not lucky for the Hubster who gets the daily text to pick him up early .....as in before PE starts!!! But luckily for the Hubster he has NOT picked him up early!!! (Well not that I know of but have no doubt you will read all about here ... if HE does pick him EARLY ...to skip PE) HINT HINT HINT Hubster - that is my subtle CLUE not to do that!!!

 PC has decided he may have to be "more anti-social " than he already is... (seriously?? would that even be possible)

Crazy Mama on the Loose


So this morning my little gem Prince Charming himself.... had a horrible attitude,  shocking I know -  ( not like that’s anything new he is NOT a morning…afternoon …or night person) but I am on a time schedule ya know…gotta be out the door in the car and driving away at  8:30am to get him to camp and then to that whole big girl job thing I go to by 8:58am so that I can dash up 6 flights of stairs (ok you caught me I ride the elevator - but hey it is to the 6th floor and I still need to find a parking spot and yada yada yada)!!! This morning much like every morning he was in his slow…wait …halt…speed and was royally pissed off by the time we made it to the car at 8:37am… ....that I was hurrying him along (because he has no concept of time) ……he didn’t eat breakfast ~ not even sure if he brushed his teeth and told me he wasn’t eating lunch so he wasn’t bringing his lunchbox…which by the way I already packed and I had a portable breakfast in my hand which he wasn't going to eat either. Really?? You actually think you are punishing me by NOT eating??? Bahahaha,  no- no my boy you are the one who will be hungry not me!

We arrive at camp and he goes to jump out and won’t take his lunch box because “ I am not eating it” he shouts

Me: “I don’t care- but you will take it in there”  (after all I am not going to look like the crazy mom that doesn’t send food with her child!! I mean really  I have so many others things that I could be the crazy mama for keep reading examples will be shared)

A Naked What??

Can you believe it the Prince survived and  did very well on his test ( at least according to him he did) that he had to take last week ....yes during his SUMMER! Oh the horror ....having to use brain power during his SUMMER! We have yet to start the book report, and of course every book we own is boring, the 2 award winning books I checked out at the library from the list the school set home are boring and apparently every friggen book in the world....ding.. ding.. ding....you guessed it BORING!!! My suggestion to you my dear Prince Charming is to get ready to be BORED because you will be doing a book report during your SUMMER!!!


The hubster and I did another Mud Race last weekend, it was "Mud Endeavor - Under The Lights" which meant it was at night! Okay well our start time was 7:40pm so it wasn't dark yet, but it was pretty close by the time we passed the finish line at 8:47pm. The course was great, even with the light drizzle of rain we had all night, but  I am black and blue from some of the obstacles. Not sure who thought it was a good idea to have you run through a long building, with fog smoke and strobe lights because WHY would you want to actually see WHERE you are running only to end up at this tunnel (that you still cant see) and you have to crawl or slide through and it's filled with.... NOPE NOT MUD....Mud I would have been happy with, Mud I would have expected.... nope this was filled with ICE and WATER .... yep ICE WATER!

In the dark with the fog, and the strobe lights so you cant see  ...it was about 40 feet long and did I mention filled with ICE WATER?? WTF who thinks of these things?? The hubster went zooming through and was at the other end in no time....as for me? Well as soon as I stuck my foot in and realized what exactly it was, I jumped back out! I had some serious ninja reflexes at that point!! The volunteer working the obstacle, was egging me on, and I think I had some colorful sentence enhancers that I yelled back at him that had something to the effect of they wouldn't get me in that "bleep...bleep ...bleep.... " ICE WATER ...it's freaken cold!!! So after wasting a good 3-5 minutes the guy egging me on went with me as we dove head first into the 40 foot long tunnel of  ice water WTF!!! HAHAHAHA if my ass is going to be soaked in ICE friggen  WATER ...so was his!!!!  I was certain that my hands had fallen off by the time I reached the end of the tunnel, because I had absolutely no feeling in them!!

After the race we showered .....okay if that's what you call it, a bunch of people huddled under a make shift shower that was a pvc pipe with holes, that has a hose shoved it in and absolutely no water pressure. So there you are covered in thick clay mud, and basically standing under a drip...drip...drip. Well at least the hubster can say he got to shower with 4 chicks this weekend, and I wasn't even mad about it!! How many men can say that? Sadly 3 out of the 4 chicks huddled under the drips were men dressed in  peach sports bars and matching running skirts!! (OOPS I don't think I was suppose to add that part in hahahahahaha )!! We went to Denny's after we were semi- clean before we ventured back home ~ pretty sure they were worried we wouldn't be able to pay our bill, we looked like total rift raft!

So looking through all the race cards that were in our packet and on the car windshield there are a lot of mud runs and 5k's coming up the hubster pipes in about a 5K he heard about  "Dare to Go Bare". NOW... let that sink in .....say the name again...... "Dare...... to...... Go .......Bare". Hummm what does that sound like to you? Humm do you have a visual yet? Yep that's right it's a NAKED 5K race?? SERIOUSLY?? I thought he was kidding ....and NOPE he was not!!! Really?

Our discussion went a little like this:

But it's Summer

Do you ever wonder if time travel is possible? I'm pretty sure I am lost somewhere in another universe looking down saying WTF where did the time go??? How did I get here??? What have I been doing?? Everyday is passing us by faster and faster! Looking at the calendar and realizing that half the summer has already disappeared and I have done nothing "summer-ish" at all!! Seriously?? No beach trips, no pool party's, no cook outs, no theme park trips.... really what kind of summer are we having?? I guess that's what happens when you get old....(except I am still 29) so I must be in the hubster's alternate universe where time is running us over (since he is older hahahahaha)!

Now about that summer where did it go......let's see for starters it's 90 plus degrees out oh and my Prince Charming does not like the beach, the sand is itchy, it's to bright out, it's to hot out, nor does he really like people so having a cook out or pool party unless he approves of the guest list  is out, nor does he really care to swim  anymore.......oh yes and than there is the theme parks...well let's see...what could be wrong there?? Oh yes that's right...the people, the lines, the heat, the walking .....did I mention the people and the lines and all the walking and let's not forget it's HOT out!!  Now if he could go to the front to of the line and be in an air conditioned bubble then we might be able to go and not suffer with all the whining and moaning and groaning.....(well at least we wouldn't be able to hear the protesting because he'd be in a bubble!) or he would settle for one of these USB Air Condition Shirts are you kidding me?? They actually make these??

THE ICE IS STRATING TO CRACK


Hell has offically frozen over and I am first in line to lace up my ice skates and take a spin....okay well I would be if I had ice skates or ice to skate on....and since its 90 plus degrees out lately, I guess we will just go with the metaphore!! The BROWN shirts that have caused me such frustration and given me eye ticks for the past 6 long months is GONE.....all 4 of them!!! GONE...GONE....GONE!!!  Maybe it wasn't exactly all on Prince Chamerings own acord.....could have something to do with the fact that they were starting to disinagrate in the wash, or as they were on the way to the dryer I would get so frustrated at seeing them day after day after day....that I begin tugging just a little harder each day on the collar or the bottom where holes were forming! I know it's not something  that is going to get me the "Mother of The Year" award, these days I am anything but that But a mom's gotta do what a mom's gotta do!!! At least he was able to finish the school year in his beloved brown shirt...but the first day of PC's summer break on May 31st they were done...gone...over with!! Ending  the school year with 5 A's and 2 B's WHOOO WHOOOO!!! PC was excited to actually go to camp this summer.....for the first time ever....he was excited because it's Technology camp!

Camp has started and on Day 1 PC woke up excited, full of energy and tells us that he is excited  because it'll be the 1st time ever that he is attending a camp where the kids are like him, and will like the same things he does. Yep thats great right, only it makes you feel like the shumck  of the year for making him attend all those others camps that kids would die to attend!! Week 1 went great PC loves it, only came home early one time because he was uncomfortable on the field trip .....which included all the recreation centers together for a big field event.....needless to say he wont be attending those and they fall on Thursdays....okay I can deal with that, one day a week he will miss. Well ......... then you have swim days, the child refuses to go in a public pool....okay well you cant really argue with that now can you? I've seen what people do in those pools.....I've heard what people do in those pools.....I can only imagine WHAT  1000 kids do in those pools ewwww!! So Swim days which thankfully there are only 5 for the summer he will go to camp in the afternoon....well at least thats the deal, lets see if he holds up his end of that deal!

Here we are on  Week 2 already and he has attended 6 days of camp....in a row! Amazing since last year he went like 8 days out of  10 weeks!! I get home on Monday the start of Week 2 and ask how was camp today? PC replies with a "Ughhh"  and "HOT" and there you go...... it begins.....

I can feel the ice that I was so cooly  skating on before begin to creak as I was foolishly thinking that this summer is gonna be fan-freaken- tastic!!! I can feel I am losing traction and we are only in week 2 ....day 6 of summer camp...the same summer camp he was so excited to attend...the same freaking summer camp, I had to  beg and pled and drop names to get him one of the 8 freaken spots they had to offered!!  I  go out to the kitchen where the hubster is whipping upa delicious  homemade meal and said to him...."So camp was HOT eh? Well it is summer, I hope he doesn't try and pull anything because he will be going to camp! " Hubster....... " Well he was hoping to stay home tomorrow and have Will come over and he is going to bring his bike"

 UMMMM can you see the huge crack forming under my ice skates??? Sure the kid can bring his bike with him...doesn't mean they will be out riding it....it will sit right next to PC's and collect dust just like his is doing......it's HOT out remember what makes you think they will be out riding bikes and not sitting on their ass like they do daiuly on the computer or watching TV in the nice cool AC????

Hiccups Along the Way

The past 2 ½ weeks seem like a blur. Our celebration of life for Papa was beautiful; we had a huge turnout of friends and family for his send off to the great blue sky. Of course with any thing in life you have a few hiccups along the way. And I was the one with the hiccups ...... My aunts thought I should read my last blog post as a tribute to Papa, (clearly they are delusional) and since there is no way in hell I would ever consider doing that I did the next best thing, I wrote a new tribute told some of his stories added pictures and rolled it up, tied it with ribbon so that everyone could take home with them. Problem solved .... or so I thought!

After working on a memories video much of the weekend and finishing it up on Tuesday night, the hubster burned several copies for me to give to the family. Wednesday morning I asked Prince Charming to put the DVD in the player so I can make sure it worked, since I have no earthly idea how to work any of the electronics in our house besides my computer and that’s if-y most days. So there we are and it looks great on the big screen and then..... it stops mid song and PC looks at me and said "well that was nice mom"....I start to stutter..... "NO ...NO ...NO why is it stopped?" He shows me that it's the end of the video...NO NO NO ...it has lots more pictures and 2 more songs to go!!! We tried another copy and it did the same thing, stopped in the same spot and everything!

UGHHH I take PC to school, return home to see what we can do... really that means see what the hubster can do...but he was on a call with work so could not come to the rescue! So I got another disc and tried to burn a new copy, made a cup of coffee and took a deep breath. That's when it caught my eye, the bottle of Kailua. Just sitting there at the end of the bar, as if it were calling my name, I walked over to the bar, looked at my watch and thought what the hell ..."Its 5 O Clock somewhere" and I started pouring it in my coffee, yes at 9:30am. Next up was Mama Pepper was calling to see if I was on my way and did I have the video done.... ahhhh yes...lets add another shot of this yummy Kailua ~ shall we! "Yepper I am on my way".

Arriving at the funeral home I gave the video to the young girl Brittany to start it. And that's when it happened.... the blue screen said ERROR no disc! UGHHHH I said here try this one....ERROR No disc.... she looked at me and said " Oh this happens a lot that our player doesn't work" OMG are you SERIOUS???? I was having flash backs to Aunt Doll's service and her video! And this was a different funeral home! Ok, ok , ok just breath.... I spot the cord hanging from the TV and grab it and said 'Do you have a computer or Laptop we can use?" Her "No - sorry we don't" I start waving the cord like a crazy lady saying "But that's what this is for!!" Pretty sure my voice was about 3 times higher than usual and I think she jumped back about 2 steps..... We ran back and got a laptop and Problem Solved ......well except for the video would not loop so I had Mama Pepper every 13.56 minutes saying can you start it over!

After the family and friends had visited, we had the Priest come to say a few words and tell some funny stories. As I am up front with the aunts and Mama Pepper she starts pointing to me and mouthing "Are you going to read it" Me shaking my head and waving my finger” NO NO NO ..... everyone has already been able to read it" (See she is now delusional as well) so she nods her head as if she understands and agrees.... okay this is where all my problem solving blows up in a cloud of smoke.....because as the Priest finishes and says " Does anyone want to come up and speak? " That Mama Pepper, and her 2 sisters “The Aunt’s” with a grin on their face and ALL SPOKE UP AT ONCE WITH " Pepper has something she will be reading"

OMG ARE YOU SERIOUS!!!! Did you not understand the NO NO NO with the shaking of the head and the finger waving???? I stood up and said "Well I guess that i have been volunteered to do this and it's a really good thing I have already started drinking this morning!!!Amazingly enough, I did not faint or throw up ....since there was a possibility of both things happening! It was a full house....about 115 people And I made it all the way to almost the end before my lips started to quiver and thankfully Mama Pepper jumped up to the rescue to read the last few lines with me.
Even though I thought I'd strangle MP and the Aunts for throwing me under the bus, I'm glad I did it. I know Papa would have been proud of me and he always did enjoy a good story teller and I made sure to tell it just the way he would ~

Papa ~ The Life of The Party

The mind is a funny thing, as I sit here and try to process  that my Papa ( grandfather) will now be earning his angel wings  only 2 short months later to be with Aunt Doll who was not only his best friend, but his big sister and the glue that held this family together.It feels like just yesterday as I wrote about their adventures as  they lived together the past few years, enjoyed a daily happy hour and the wonder of speaker phones ( to everyone else's dismay).As my heart breaks, and the tears are filling up in my eyes..... I can't help but to laugh, because the thought that keeps running around inside my head is who will be the one telling the stories now at the most inappropriate times....like um...... funerals... as he did during Aunt Dolls?

Whether you called  him Fred, FJ, Uncle Sonny, Dad, Papa or even Great Papa  we all knew him as a great man that was the life of the party, who could hold your attention with his smile, his laugh or his stories! You could here him yell " Hey Doll remember when ...." and she would laugh and say "Oh FJ stop it ... that didn't happen like that!" And they would both be laughing before they could even finish telling the story!  Just like Aunt Doll he never missed a good party or a chance to get on the dance floor! He was game to do anything or go anywhere all you had to do was ask!

Growing up Papa had this big house over in Oldsmar, Florida it sat on 3 lots and was the supreme house for parties! Block parties, birthday parties, graduations, holiday cook outs, reunion's ~  you name it he has hosted it! The entire town and family near and far would show up, everyone bringing something to eat or drink the men would all be lined up at the grills, his buddies would sing and do the polka dance while the kids all played in the yard. We had enough food to feed a small army, which I guess is what we were. There wasn't a person in all of  that town that didn't know Papa and to know him was to love him.

There was this huge tree out back that we would climb up in and grab the rope swing to fly down like Tarzan! We would race up the stairs to play in the hidden closets in this great big house, going from room to room to play hide an seek, jump from the top of the stairs to the bottom. The house was always filled with love and laughter I cant  recall a time that Papa ever raised his voice or got mad  or even yell at all us kids to knock it off like most would have done! Does that mean we were all exceptionally well behaved kids? I guess that is possible.....highly unlikely thou, I think he was just an exceptional man who knew we were just kids being kids and that was good enough excuse for our behavior as any! I guess I need to remember that lesson in my own life.

I know we will survive as a family, I know we will move forward and move on. They taught us to be strong, independent, honest, to be loving and caring and to make everyday count.  But I also know that things will never be the seem again, not with both Aunt Doll and Papa gone. Our hearts will still ache but I know they would want us not to be consumed with sadness, but to cherish the here ~  the now and to celebrate the life they had with the people they loved. They would want us to continue sharing stories because that's how you keep the memories alive, and we all have plenty of stories to tell! I know that old traditions we had as a family will now have to be new traditions made without them.

Papa and Aunt Doll
The Best of Friends
I will always cherish my memories and the times we spent together. I cherish  the thought that my little Prince Charming (PC)  got to know and love both Papa and Aunt Doll, that he will share in the "remember when stories" as they are being told. He has a whole collection of Hess Trucks from Great Papa that he has received every Christmas since he was 1 years old. He loves his collection and will always remember who they are from and will have stories of his own to pass along.

 PC was so sweet and so helpful with his Great Papa, at the last family wedding we went to, he held him up as he was unsteady on his feet when he walks, got him his glass of wine ( which didn't help he be any more steady on his feet)! He sat and they chatted, he went and got them each dessert and helped load him into Aunt Wendy's car. After we waved good by PC turned to me and say " We have a great family mom, and I really love Great Papa", I  looked over at him and smiled  (as I cant say I looked down on him since he is taller than me) and said "Yes buddy, that we do".

I know they always say that God has a plan......that plan does not always match up with our plans............ because we didn't plan on Papa joining for happy hour quite so soon in the great blue sky! They better watch out up there ~ the party is just about to get started now that he has arrived!








My Supreme Skills

My painting privileges  have been re-instated, clearly the hubster has long forgotten why he revoked them! Once upon a time....... when he was pre-hubster ..... he painted my entire house inside, all the rooms and all the trim in one long day....while I....painted the fireplace....with a toothbrush and q-tips...in yes the same long day!  In my defense it was brick and I was making certain bricks match the trim! And what a fine job I did....even if it took the whole friggen day!

Then while he was still playing the pre-hubster role, we moved in together (of course there was no pre-material activities happening during that time ~ so not to worry any relatives reading this) we worked different shifts, and I had a part time job at a paint store in the décor department which equals...discount...which also equals ....no paycheck but lots of paint and borders and wallpaper!! I painted floor to celling iris flowers in the spare room, sponged the wall a lovely pink (shocker) and green color with a huge border in the craft room, wallpapered the bathroom...... yes I was a busy gal and I was also planning the happiest day of hubsters life....our wedding!!!

That would be a few reasons my painting privileges were revoked, I could go on but I will spare you! So for the past 15 years I have been band ...until now.......so either he figures my 15 year hiatus of being aloud to actually touch the house with a paintbrush has made me a better painter....maybe he figures that I have soaked up all his skills by simply observing them..... or he has lost his mind. I am thinking he has lost his mind or he's desperate to get the house finished that he has enlisted my supreme  skills.......

Yep hubster had to go out of town as we are in the mist of getting the house prepped for painting and  I was left  in charge with painting supplies and my little Prince Charming to help me finish getting the house primed. Clearly this was not a well thought out plan for several reasons.....

I Need your ID

Whew - it's been a long weekend...and by long...... I mean L-O-N-G!!! With Friday being a National Holiday ...aka Prince Charming's birthday, we have been on the go, go , go all weekend long with Busch Gardens on Friday, Go Kart Racing on Saturday, slumber party and a cookout on Sunday so the family could see the little Prince! Monday I will need to go back to work to rest!!

 Friday we were going over to Busch Gardens, hubster and I got dressed and ready and we waited...and waited ...and waited for the birthday boy to emerge from his room and be ready to go.... he emerged all right in his long sleeve brown ***** shirt and his green hoodie.....did I mention it was 90 degrees out and we were going to Busch Gardens? Usually at amusement parks, people are half naked, even when they should NOT be! My eye started to twitch and I had to head to my bedroom to grab a few orange rubber bands to complete my outfit.......you know so that I could snap the shit outta my wrist instead of start an argument with PC about how he would have a freaken heat stroke since it is HOT out and he is on long sleeves and a sweatshirt!!!!

 I thought maybe once we arrived he would come to his senses and at least take the hoodie off and leave it in the car, I was wrong! I did look at him and say "I better not hear even one time that you are HOT!" Hubster and I were surprised to see that PC was not the only jackass wearing long sleeves and a  hoodie ~ some of them even had jeans on ~ at least PC had on shorts....well because he doesn't even own a pair of pants!

 After we had had our fill of fun at Busch Gardens, and everyone (including us I am sure) was starting to stink, we headed back to the car to go have a late lunch, that would not require taking out a small loan.  As we sat down and relaxed in the nice cool a/c I ordered a "Watermelon Margarita" ahhh doesn"t that sound yummy and refreshing??
WAITER: "I need to see your ID"

Swimming in a Sea of Toes

OMG...SERIOUSLY... I think as I am in a the downward dog pose (really could be called Ass High pose)  and look up to realized that OMG....I am swimming in  a sea of toes......yes TOES people. .... EWWW not just your dirty toes ......but "camel toes"! Yep that's right, the hubster and I went back to yoga class for class # 2 out of 5 that we have! And if you missed my first experience with yoga ~ you can catch up here!!!

So off to the back of the class hubster and I go, after all I don't want people making fun of my ass in yoga pants! And here is yet another tips on yoga pants.... ... One should NOT wear light color yoga pants....just remember  that black in slimming.... even down there in the nether regions ~ and light colored yoga pants.....not so much!!!

That's when it hit me!! I had to stop myself  from the giggle fest that was building up in my throat!!!

Photo: Holy shitballs! Are you F’ing kidding me? Have you seen this?! One of you is my hero and brought this to my attention. It’s called the Cuchini Camel Toe pad. Let me repeat— Camel. Toe. Pad. As you can imagine, my mind is imploding with thoughts right now. 

1. Bwahahahahahahahahahaha! 

2. In case you don’t know what camel toe is, it’s what happens when your pants are too tight and they ride up your hoo-ha so everyone can see your genital crack and it looks like the F’ing toe of a camel. Yes, I got that from Webster’s Dictionary. 

3. Okay, call me cray cray but I always assumed that people who had this camel toe problem didn’t know they had it. I mean who the hell knowingly walks out of their house with their pants going up their vajayjay? 

4. The amazon ad keeps talking about how “a frontal wedgie” is like the most common wardrobe problem. A. Frontal wedgie— milk just came out my nose! And B. Seriously? Because if it were, they’d be selling this shit at Tarjay. Or maybe at Victoria’s Secret but it’d say something on the front like “remove before tapping.” 

5. I gotta wonder about all those women who always look so put together like Michelle Obama and Kate Middleton. Or the people on the red carpet. Do you think they’re all wearing camel toe pads? If so I’d feel a little better about it. Nahhh, that’s bullshit, no I wouldn’t. 

6. Okay, this is the only review that’s up on Amazon so far: “This does work in hiding that embarrassing camel toe, but I wish it was thinner. You can see the outline of it with your swim suit on. Overall it gets the job done and to me it's better to be able to see the cuchini outline rather than a camel toe!”

No no no no no no no! Seeing the cuchini pad outline IS JUST AS BAD as seeing camel toe. Correction, IT’S WORSE. ‘Cause basically you’re admitting that you KNOW you have camel toe. Please, for the love of God, go to the store and buy a new bathing suit that doesn’t ride up your vajayjay. 

7. Cuchini? Ahhhhhh, it’s like they took the word coochie and said now how to we make it sound classy? I know! Let’s make it sound Italian! Le coochie? No. Il cucchi? No. Cuchini. Yes! 

8. I want to know, if you’re at a club and looking all awesome and shit because your camel toe pad is preventing a frontal wedgie, and you meet this beefy meathead and go back to his crib to hook up, when do you remove your camel toe pad? I mean, do you wait until he finds it and he’s like WTF is this, a vagina pad to make your hoo-ha look smoother? Or do you stealthily go to the bathroom and remove it and pray when you walk out of the bathroom that he doesn’t see your frontal wedgie and get turned off? Or is he feeling you down over your panties and is he like where the hell is your crack? 

8. OMG, do you know what this makes you look like?! One of those Barbie dolls who just has a smooth plastic area where her crack should be?! Okay that’s just creepy. 

9. Bwahahahahahahahahahahahaha! Yeah, I know I said this already, but it’s important enough to say twice.I thought OMG this would be the perfect place that one should wear a "Cuchini ~ The Camel Toe Pad" and no folks I am not making this shit up!! I read it on  "Baby SideBurns Facebook Post"   look for the April 6th post ~ friggen hysterical! As is everything she writes!!!

So there I am suppose to be all calm and relaxed, thinking there is no way, I will survive this class with all these "colorful toes" watching me! I must have looked confused in yet another tortured pose as the cute little instructor~ who by the way is the only person who looks amazing in these stupid ass yoga pants... but why wouldn't she ?? After all she teaches yoga like 10 times a day!!!

Just Mudding Around

Mud Crusade 2012
Usually when I ask the hubster "Does this make me look fat?" or "Does this print  make my ass look big" he instantly says "No" mind you he is usually asleep on the couch (meaning his eyes are closed) or he is on the computer and could not even tell you what frigging print I am wearing ~and if that said print is making my ass look big or not because that my friends.......... would require him to actually look up and see!!! This morning he almost gave himself whiplash as I came around the corner  to announce that I thought my boobs were getting smaller ~  seriously I think I actually heard the snap in his neck as he whipped his head up to check out the situation! Sadly for him, the girls had already been locked and loaded into the sports bar and topped off with a tank top, cant have the girls jumping out or anything while we go and play in the mud!

Pull Up A Chair

" He is so bright, sweet and smart. He will not be a follower ~ that is for sure! He will be such a Leader in life.....later in life, yes later in life is when he needs to be the Leader, right now he needs to be the follower......and follow me and my directions and remember that I am the Leader.....not him!" This conversation rings in my ears often,  that was my 1st teacher parent conference with Ms. Kitty, late 60's , about 4 foot 9, retired school teacher,  when the little Prince Charming (PC) was in the 3 years old room in preschool.

So I went to my 1st teacher parent conference at the new school , and I braced myself before I went in since usually my conferences over his school career would usually end up with "PC doesn't do this, he doesn't do that". When this one started with " He is really a bright young man, it's amazing to see how his mind works, and the wheels are turning." Everything she had to say was positive, I even take this statement as positive" He sure is opinionated, but he is now not getting as annoyed with the other  kids and their quirks" Hummm, yep that sums it up, that totally sounds like him opinionated.
We started to discuss the upcoming goal day, which happens to be on PC's birthday, he will be 12 going on 42.

Say AHHHHH




When you have a doctors appointment do you go in with a list of questions and concerns that you'd like to ask? Suddenly when the gyno walks in all those questions fly out of your mind as you notice her hands and where those such hands will be poking around. As she soaps up and asks how you are, what's new in your life? Snaps on the gloves and  then has you "scootch" down to the bottom of the table, legs up and say AHHHHHHH!

So why is it in this position does she continue the small talk? How is the family? How many kids? Work? Are you exercising? Eating right? I am sure she must think I am rude as I keep my answers to one word  or less meaning a mere grunt. I mean HELLO??? Shouldn't you be concentrating down there as your elbow deep in my junk?? Suddenly all those questions I had are no where to be found. She pops her head up and out from under the veil and  offer me her hand so I can slide back up, umm she was wearing gloves before right??? I quick scan the rest of her hand OMG is her watch and ring still on?? Oh yeah there it is! And um those gloves would be where???

The Doc: "Alrighty than, everything looks good, since you don't have any questions I'll see ya next year! And out the door she goes...GEEZZZZ...... I didnt even get breakfast or a lousy cup of coffee!

They had me until UMMMMMMMMMM

So we went to yoga last night to the slow flow class ..........great class, really nice people, love the instructor, and the hubster really liked it. After all it was his idea to go~ so it’s a good thing he liked it

My thought about yoga….

1. It reminds me of a cult

2. Not everyone is meant to wear yoga pants.... especially with writing on the back of them ~ really at age 5 you shouldn’t have anything written across your ass
3. You should wear longer shirts to go OVER the yoga pants so not to show off your t-backs and tramp stamp tattoo ~ .not judging since I have both, but saw more than my fair share last night since we were in the back of the class and you cant help but to notice in a downward dog pose

4. Before leaving home make sure the bottom of your feet are clean…. And you don’t have funk between the toes ~
5. Some poses make you look like a beached whale (or could have been the yoga pants) either way…refer to tip number 3 since you will most definitely have people starting at the bottoms of your feet

6. Some poses are a serious WTF kinda pose –that makes your body make some WTF noises from unknown areas....... really who names these things?? And the hubster thinks “chair pose” should require a CHAIR

7. I am much to ADD for them to turn off the lights and tell you to relax…. And do some deep breathing ~ right pretty sure that the deep breathing was snoring …

It was a great workout, but I can do without the lights out and nap time! Although that was clearly the hubster’s most favorite part! As for me after about 3 minutes I was sitting up for what seemed like an eternity waiting for them to all wake up! One lady even had a blanket on, was she planning on sleeping there? Some had on eye masks…okay people your in a dark room at 9pm… do you really need your eye mask? I was chomping at the bit to get up and out! No need to linger I can rest at home on my own floor!!!

And then there is the big ending of “UMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM” …..that was so loud, I actually jumped a little! Who knows maybe I will learn to relax, and find all that inner peace, spiritual stuff that they babble while your doing all those ridiculous poses…..but for now I will just try and contain my giggles.

Celebrating Life

We gathered with family and friends to celebrate Aunt Doll, while we had tears we also had laughter, people telling stories and sharing their memories and why we loved her like we do, how she will be missed and lessons that she taught us (my aunt Robyn agrees "No Elbows on the Table is one we all learned by being stabbed with a fork! "
I created a memories video to be played while we were at the funeral home, saved it in on a DVD just like the "tech guy" told me to do on the phone! So MP (Mama Pepper) and I arrived early, to set out the programs that PC and I made the night before, set up the photos we had and of course to make sure there were no problems with the video. The nice young man came bounding down the stairs in his 3 piece suit to introduce himself, Micheal " I thought he looked like he was 10 playing dress up ~ but he took the video and raced back up the stairs to get it hooked up. After a few minutes he comes back bouncing down to say "You did a great job on this, it's really very nice , but....we cant play it" Pretty sure my eyes flying out of their socket and the expression on my face were enough for him to "figure something out" as he raced yet again up stairs to see "what he could do"!
 UGHHHHHHHHHH are you kidding me??? I saved it in the format he told me to!! Anyways bouncing back down with his laptop he fiddled a bit and then it appeared on the screen as peo
ple were entering...minus the music...ughhh ...okay, at least we have pictures right!
Well as time passes we notice there is a black screen again, I go in search to find the little whipper snapper in the 3 piece suit......to get told he has left for the day. WTF~ seriously and the ancient man at the door tells me that yes, he said the screen would go black and that he would just shut the TV off! ARE YOU KIDDING ME???? But then he adds in "This happens a lot you know" UMMM okay well that doesn't make me feel any better!
So I go back in and start talking to a few people to announce that our "Tech Guy left" I dunno maybe he had to be in before his 6pm curfew??? UGHHHH so we start to look around, the laptop in on the floor behind the coffin..... well I don't want to crawl back there! One of our guest , while I wont mention any names, because I really need my eye examine done, hopped on back there to see if he could get it to play. I had visions of us bumping the coffin and off it would fly, I mean Aunt Doll really enjoyed a good party, but she may have been annoyed with that turn of events! Maybe Aunt Doll sabotaged it herself so it wouldn't play!
Wednesday morning was the service and it was beautiful. My Papa was sitting up there in the front pew with my aunts and I, MP sat behind us and so did one of my uncles (Papa's brother). While the priest started with the smoke in the ball thingy that sparked a memory that Papa couldn't keep to himself! So he turns around in this quiet mass and says to my uncle "Remember when we were alter boys and we had the smoke going everywhere?" MP is poking him in the back to shhh, and my uncle is shaking his head as my Papa continues to start laughing and saying how they would swing it over their head and then they were on the floor" my uncle pipes in that his memory is to good, and I lean over and tell him we are going to be kicked out if he doesn't pipe down!! He just continues to laugh, as I join in , and MP keeps poking him to be quiet!
The funny thing is Aunt Doll would have expected that from him ~ so she would not have been surprised as her little brother was sitting in a quite mass as he starts laughing and telling stories! At the after party everyone that was in the back came up and wanted to know what was the ruckus he had going on up front, they could here him laughing from the back of the church! They were always the life of the

Aunt Doll and My Papa
 The Best of Friends
party! They have lived together the last few years and enjoyed Happy Hour and having a Speaker Phone! LOL ~ Oh yes, while they enjoyed a glass of wine or a vodka martini they would be on the phone to hear about everyone's day, they would have you on speaker while they would laugh and talk away! They both always have such great stories to tell!
Yes, we had tears but we also had laughter as we celebrated Aunt Doll's life, it really was a celebration of life and we all were lucky that we were able to share in that life!


P.S. And yes PC came to the celebration, and yes he was in his brown shirt and green hoody, no one seemed to notice they were all focused on how much HAIR he had, and how thick it was ~

Never Never Land

So the past few days my conversation with Mama Pepper (now dubbed as MP) went a little like this.....
Friday night : MP ~ "Have you told him yet?"
ME~"No, not yet"
Saturday morning: MP ~ "Have you told him yet?"
Always with a smile and
 always ready for a party!
ME~"No, not yet"
Saturday night: MP ~ "Have you told him yet?"
ME~"No, not yet"
**Okay so repeat the above for Sunday and Monday until Monday night when it changes to
MP ~ "Have you told him yet?"
ME~"No, not yet"
MP: "Cutting it kind of close aren't you? We are down to the wire you know"
ME~" Yep I sure am"

Well I finally bit the bullet tonight and told PC that Aunt Doll had passed away ~ I KNOW.... I KNOW.....yes I am a wimp and yes this happened 4 days ago and I dunno maybe I thought I could just avoid the conversation and go on my merry little road trip called denial, avoid it much like I did the seating chart for our wedding!!!!

He actually did take it better than I thought he would, plus he's been sick (yes still sick.. ..heading back to the doctors tomorrow - and the hubster is sick and now ...oh yes they gave me their germs too .......ughh) and I just wasn't ready to deal with the drama that I predicted. Clearly I should be a weather girl - they don't have to get anything right ~ he handled it alot better than I expected.

 I have to admit that I also may have tried to bribe/coax him with going shopping for a NICE OUTFIT to wear to her celebration of life party ~ sounded better than a funeral right??  Yes shameless of me I have no doubt, but thought just maybe...........he would see the light and agree ......I got a head nod with that.........but then the brakes came to a screeching halt and he looked up and said....."What do you mean when when you say nice clothes?"

Then that little theme song  for the game shows pops in my head... you know the one before someone hits the buzzer to answer the question...... while I try to plan my next sentence as to NOT say something like "Well certainly not anything BROWN.....like your brown frigging shirt". I played it cool with a shrug of the shoulders and casually said...."Oh I don't know, maybe some nice dress pants ( and screaming in my head was because you dont own a pair of friggen long pants) and maybe you can borrow one of dads nice dress shirts, he has some that are really soft" ...got another head nod and a "hummm I don't know". So I guess I will have to wait and see what he decides to do..........


I reminded PC of what he use to tell me when he was 3 years old and my grandmother passed away, he would look right up at the sky and say "Mama dont be sad, Great Grammy is up there in Never Never Land with Peter Pan and Captain Hook."

When the hubster's father passed away and PC was 5, I was looking for the right words to say when  he looked at me as he smiled and
said " P-Pa went to Never Never Land to? Don't worry mama he'll be okay! Now he's with Peter Pan and Great Grammy".

Yep - so there we have it Aunt Doll is now in Never Never Land with Peter Pan, Captain Hook and all the others that have passed before her! PC gave me a hug and a grin as he walked away shaking his head.

She has her wings

On Friday March 22nd we said good bye to my Great Aunt Doll I wrote about her in November when she first had her stroke, which she never recovered from.  As Mama Pepper said "She has her wings now", I know she is no longer suffering and she is at peace and she is not alone in the great blue sky, but all the same it still leaves that empty ache in your heart.

She really was an amazing, wise, classy, strong, honest and  funny woman who taught all of us in her life a thing or two or a million life lessons! Aunt Doll was the godfather of this family and the glue that holds us all together.She never missed a good party and always had a smile on her face! The world would be a better place if we had more people in it like her.  She taught me not to have my elbows on the tables. That lesson was learned by a fork flying across the table as she jabbed you in the elbow and said" Elbows off the table", pretty sure to this day, I do not eat with my elbows on the table!!!

For my wedding she was insistent that I would have to do a seating chart, that we needed to get it done or there could be trouble with where people sat!SERIOUSLY?? Like I had time to plan that out!!  I of course bring the soon to be bride, who  was much to busy to do that,   balked back that "People wont sit next to people they don't like! " Every time the subject came up about that seating chart I would avoid it like the plague! Fast forward to that glorious day and that is where you find my Papa (grandfather ~ who happened to be Aunt Doll's younger brother) and there he sat.....in between his two Ex-wives!!! While not everyone was amused with his sitting arrangement, he found it to be quite funny!Papa much like Aunt Doll always enjoy a good time, and can be the life of the party!  Besides the sitting chart, my other no -no in her book was when the hubster and I were feeding each other cake....yep pretty sure he can still smell it since I jammed it up his nose! Aunt Doll was saying "OH PEP...OH PEP" as she was wiping the cake from my chest and face!! Of course by the end of the night I was dancing on the top of the speakers and had money coming out of the top of my dress....which makes this one of my favorite pictures of me and Aunt Doll (even if I look crazy in it)! Because even with her laughter and shaking her head she continued to say "Oh Pep...Oh Pep" and when ever I see this picture it makes me giggle!

I receive a lot of "Oh Pep....Oh Pep" in my life from Aunt Doll this stood for the good, the bad, the ugly, the funny, the crazy or the WTF...(even thou I never heard her utter those words out loud I have NO DOUBT she has thought them)! It was her standard statement to me and I can hear it echo in my head. She didn't judge my parenting skills when PC and I stayed with her in the mountains and he held up the yellow squash and announced that "them are some funny looking bananas and that was some awful lettuce (which happened to be a head of cabbage)." She loved to see the pictures of my latest craft or crazy mud run, she was always interested in what was happening in my life and was always proud of me.

 But as I sit here now thinking of the days ahead of us..............I could really use an "Oh Pep...Oh Pep" right about now, while I know that she understands that my little gem  is a tough cookie to raise and has issues with the whole ADD,ODD and OCD....and that yes he has been in a brown shirt since xmass- I cant help but wonder what others will think if I take him with me to the service, I can feel the judging eyes as they all gawk and stare, but I can hear her in my head saying "Oh Pep....it's okay, dont worry about what he has on" hummmm do you think anyone else could hear her saying that to me??




SNOTTY NOSE

I thought about doing a "Wordless Wednesday" blog post and just post this picture and see if you could figure out WTF is wrong with it!!! Notice the chicken noodle soup boxes, the bottles of couch medicine, the antibiotics, the tubes for PC's nebulizer machine for breathing treatments...oh yeah...and the big FRIGGEN lollipop??? REALLY??? Yep- lets trade a visit with the doctor for a visit to the dentist!! The poor hubster would buy the kid a rocketship if he thought it would make him better!

Needless to say PC is sick, not that we have an official diagnose of what it is !!!It could be viral, could be flu and without a doubt it is the croup. In 3 days we have had 2 trips to the emergency room (oh and for the record NOPE they dont offer BOGO on that), one to the pediatrician, several trips to the pharmacy and well it ain't getten any better............. Gee would that be because he wont take the F-ing $100 plus worth of med's we had to get!! He points, grunts  and moans which is apparently sign language for it hurts to swallow..... pointing to the coffee table is the sign for get me something off the table, because clearly he is to weak to get off his ass and get it when it is only 2 feet out of his reach!

 I do feel sorry for him,I know it sucks to be sick!! But I feel sorry for  the hubster and me to............ as we are all clearly suffering the effects of the "could be's". The hubster can not handle the hacking cough PC has, never has been able to, he is on night 3 of going into the office at 8pm working until like 2am than he comes home and sleeps in the truck until I go and wake him at 7ish in the morning!!! I know PC doesn't feel good, but I think he is overly dramatic to the point I am right over the edge!! And if I peel another snotty, booger filled tissue of the coffee table instead of in his "barf bucket" I just might start to scream!!!

I am getting a glimpse of what his future wife may experience and I am sure I will have to make sure she does not have access to any firearms or shovels!!!


Security and me

So last weekend I went on a short girl's weekend away and went to my girlfriends in Texas! Yep that's right....no hubster and no PC, pretty sure the hubster was a tad worried I'd miss my RETURN flight home!

Well really I almost missed the flight there! I had a 6:30am flight to catch got to the airport with plenty of time, only had a over night bag so no need to check it! Then I get to security  and the line came to a screeching halt, as they yelled at us over and over ( really felt like I was in kindergarten and not stayen in a straight line) geeezzz we get it already!!! Take your shoes off, laptops out of the bag in a separate bin, any liquids must be out and in the bin, everything outta your pockets....over and over and over they yelled this warning!! Tick tock - tick tock ....finally it's my turn, I do a double pat - nope I'm good nothing in my pockets to get the scanner ringing!! In I got, arms up ......the green light scans and the lady tells me to step out and wait here....WTF? What?? She has me spread my legs, hold out my arms, takes her wand and scans me again!!! ARE YOU KIDDEN?????? Then she presses on my shoulder and pushed and says "What's that?" HUH??? Uh my bra strap! That's when I hear it , as she sends me on my way to grab my stuff over the loud speaker they announce MY NAME and that it was the FINAL BOARDING!!! OMG!! WTF??? I grab my shit and run, good thing I do all those races and pretend to be in shape especially since my gate was of course the last freaking one in the freaking airport!!!!!! I come flying around the corner with shoes and hand as she is getting ready to close the gate, almost barf from running so lighting fast!!! "Wait, wait I was being fondled by security!!!"

Ahhhhhhhhhh finally on the plane, even got to sit in the front row ~ the guy said no at first he had to wait until everyone was on the plane, I informed him that yes indeed we were all here, as they were closing the gate on me!! On we go to Atalanta where I have a change plane. Things were pretty uneventful there, until I boarded the plane, took my seat which was way in the back near the window and then he arrived. The man in the next seat...or should I say the man who took up his seat and half of mine!!! Seriously, he puts the arm rest up, sits down all spread eagle and to make this so much more uncomfortable he stinks!!! Like eyes are watering stinks!!! Too close for comfort stinks!!! It was the stinky smell of cigarettes, sweat and just plain stinky!! The kid behind him was kicking his seat when he spun around and screamed at him and his mother to stop it! I nearly jumped outta my seat but I was pretty trapped and it was a full flight! So he proceeds to take out his blow up pillow, almost whacks me in the face as his big ol arms are flappen around to position it!! SERIOUSLY?? First security and now the stinky giant with a freaking pillow!!! I would say to myself...just breathe just breathe....but really ~ I'd need a gas mask if I started inhaling big deep breaths!!!

So what I found in the bathroom in Texas really gives a whole new meaning to "Woman go to the bathroom in pairs"?? Really I don't even know what to say about that one?? Some how I think my bladder my get stage fright if that's the case! I'm just glad there was a lock on the door! It was a great trip - that was the only strange bathroom I encountered! But really it was worth taken a pix of it!!!

My flight home was rather uneventful, other then security telling me I had to remove my hoody....Guess its a damn good thing I have something on under my hoody eh??? I'm starting to think maybe I should just go through security naked! This time I picked a isle seat on the plane ~ other then the lady that whipped out her Clorox bottle of wipes and proceeded to wipe everything down before she sat on the other side of the isle it went pretty smooth! The germy lady did get a rather dirty look when her seat mate came and she got up to let her in ....and yep....started the whip down process again! .

So the good news is I made it home and wasn't detained by security or anything! And the boys had a great time with a boys weekend ~ which involved PC not removing his ass from the computer or video games!! Humm pretty much sounds like when I am home only with all the nagging!