Facebook Friend ...Not Yet

Oh boy, looks like I have a friend request ...here let me click and see who wants to be friends......
Oh it's ........Oh Hell No.............WTH?? It's PC!!! What?? How on earth am I getting a friend request from PC my darling son ....who after the "teacher conference" was suppose to be grounded from the computer!!! How am I getting a friend request when he doesn't even have a Facebook account because he is not 13 yet (apparently he was born in 1999 according to his account)  ?? And how am I getting a Facebook friend request from the grounded child, on the Facebook account he isn't allowed or old enough to have...... and how is it that he is sending it at 10am ...which happens to be while he was at school ...taking exams!!!OH And lookie who has already accepted his friend request .... that's right you guessed it the HUBSTER and both grandma's oh the aunts and uncles ...all but his mom!!!

I know, I know....most people would be thrilled to get a Facebook request from their darling child, right? Some days I think I may have to "un-friend" Mama Pepper .....when I get a "PEPPER" when she doesn't like what I have posted!! Hello I am 29 (and holding) I'm not 12  .. (I so see a PEPPER in my VERY Near future!!!)  and I will certainly need to unfriend her if she ever learns to add photos!!! So my first thought well besides the HOW did this happen, was WTH?? No, no , no what is he crazy?? There is NO way that he and I can share social media platforms...it's not possible .......I use Facebook and this blog to rant and rave about how bat-shit crazy this boy makes me........ I certainly don't want him reading about it!!I don't want him to realize I have a entire blog to rant and rave about him and the Hubster ......No way that would spoil my big plans later in life ...... I have big plans for this journal (aka blog that I will someday be famous for I am sure) yep  I am keeping, track of his life, I only wish I had started sooner!! I guess I will need to start doing some "Back In The Day" post ......

My Easter Card from PC -

I have dreams of him meeting a nice girl, moving out of the house before he is 30,  getting married, and me giving her a kiss on the cheek and handing her a published manual of my blog posts ...maybe titled ..."He Wonders WHY He's An Only Child...Let Me Count The Ways" and telling her good luck...and then I will be running out the door yelling "He's your Pain In The Ass now Sweetie"  and on my way to Mexico! Or another idea would be to wait until PC has a child of his own , lean over give him a kiss and a publish manual titled "Karma's a Bitch -You Should Have Listened To Your Mama" and yelling good luck buddy I hope he's just like you and running off to Mexico ...because I certainly don't want to have to babysit the mini me child!!!

Am I being selfish by not accepting his request? Does he really care that I haven't accepted it? I doubt it, he probably doesn't even realize I have yet to accept it.  Should I accept and post really embarrassing photos of him as a child?? SO Tempting but  um ...probably not since Mama Pepper seems to spill the beans on me as a child to PC ...so she would be digging up photos galore and HE would teach her to post them ...and it wouldn't just be of me with the big... bad hair, my girlfriends I am sure would also be featured in her "Throw Back Thursday" photos if she knew how to post them!!
Mama Pepper " Oh he was so upset about what the teacher said at school  ...so I told him that one time you said the teacher was being mean to you  ...so I went in to yell at the teacher and he said you always called him baldy "  ......MOTHER  .....good  gravy Mama Pepper ....don't tell him that stuff ..... PC's now is a vegetarian (as of last week)  .... Mama Pepper pipes in " Well you stopped eating just about everything at his age...I even had to pack a cooler of foods you would eat when you went away" GOOD Gravy ..... stop giving him ammo would ya???

 I think there is to much drama for him to be on FB .......and I certainly don't want to have to Stop...Think...Post before I fire off anything inappropriate..... or rant about PC ... I know I SHOULD do that regardless... I just don't wanna!!! So I will click ignore ...until I am ready to share this slice of the pie!

He Said What???

I've sat through many parent teacher conferences over the years with PC, from my very first conference with Ms. Kitty his preschool teacher, which had to be my favorite as she was spinning all the positive vibes about how he will be such a leader ...and not a follower... to the time I went to his 6th grade conference with 7 of his teachers and  they were SHOCKED he wasn't British ... because apparently he had been using a fake accent in all his classes at  school, and then we had the conference today.....where I wanted to crawl under the table and hide!!!

Backing up a few weeks ago, I got a call from one of PC's teachers and she left a message that PC " thinks he is tech support and is changing the settings on the computers, swapping out batteries for the laptops, and changing where documents are stored. Please have a talk with him........ " well you get the idea, of course the standard reply from your tween who is in trouble is " It wasn't me" and " I didn't do anything" and since I am such the bad guy and can start WW2 by just speaking (or breathing most days) or asking a question to PC ... that seems to set off fireworks so I let Hubster talk it out with him and get to the bottom of it, problem solved. I even followed up with the teacher when she called for another reason to make sure he was complying with the rules and the computers and she said YES he was, and that NO he wasn't changing things on the computers.

So thankfully for me (at least today) , the parent teacher conferences are set up with 1 teacher,  the homeroom teacher, she gets feed back from everyone else and brings it all to the conference ....  so there I sit and as I am scanning the comments from his beloved teacher whom he has for 3 of his 7 classes I see " and he(PC)  made the comment that "His dad wants to see my credentials because he does not believe I know what I am doing" .....OMG!!!! I am ready to climb under the table and call it a day - all while the homeroom teacher is reading the comments out loud ... clearly I can read ... and I am pretty sure I muttered a "OMG and are you friggen kidding me" she stopped short and said "Oh... Wow"....I mean really what do you say to that???? Because I can image Hubster and PC having this conversation since PC is 12 going on 32 and knows everything about anything! Other comments were " He is so bright and capable of doing the work" and  " he has superior attitude at times" and "he complains all class long", and 'when he does work he does great work"  So really it almost sounds like he is at home!!

Needless to say we all know he is bright and can do the work, but he is stubborn and lazy and apparently busy throwing his dad under the bus with the teachers..........so I came home handed the reports to Hubster since he didn't want another round of WW2 to explode and I did what any reasonable level headed mom would do... I took the dogs to the dog park! That way I didn't go to jail for strangling PC, there was no screaming and yelling like a lunatic mama that we know I can be and the pups were happy and will sleep well tonight.

The Hubster and PC rode their bikes to the dog park and chatted and hopefully none of the conversations were about the teachers credentials or anything else he will be repeating in the heat of the moment to his teachers...............

What are you doing at 3:30am???

So what were you doing at 3:30am this morning??

At 3:30am Prince Charming was standing in my doorway 

PC: "Mom …mom.."  my blurry eyed self looking at the clock and not seeing any flames bursting from his ass I am able to mutter a few words....

Me:" WHAT???"

PC: "Where’s the flea comb?"

Me: "Huh? WHAT?? It’s 3:30am what the hell are you doing???"

PC: "I woke up and found a flea on PeeTree" (the cat)

Me: "Get your ass back to bed- its 3:30am! If she has a flea we will get it tomorrow" then I mumble grumble some more and roll over... thinking that obviously he would return back to bed as he was told....yeah  right who am I kidding???

PC: “UGHHHh but I found a flea on her” …so he goes in the  bathroom turns the light on, in the kitchen turns all the lights on and starts opening the cabinets and he is not a quite ninja that is for sure

So by now the dogs are all awake thinking clearly it must be morning … must be time to eat because we are all up and noisy!!!! And of course the only person NOT awake in the entire house as he is snoring away on the couch is the hubster ….

Me: “What are you doing??? It’s the middle of the night!!! I have no idea where a flea comb is we can look for it in the morning!!! Now get your ass back to bed”

PC: "NO I have to find the comb, remember when the cats got infested with fleas at the old house, and we had to shave them. All it takes is ONE flea!!" add  dramatic hand shaking to prove his point. Okay so he can remember a bad summer of fleas 5 years ago...but can not remember to pick his dirty clothes up off the floor .....something I rage about every friggen day???

Me: "OMG go to bed, none of the animals have fleas- I’m sure it was dirt!!!! And besides you already said you got the flea! GO TO BED!!Before you wake dad"

PC: glancing at the couch where Hubster is still snoring away ..."Yeah right ...like he is gonna wake up" okay okay he's got me on that one

I made the fur-babies march back to bed, disappointed that they were not getting breakfast when obviously they should be getting fed .....after all everyone was up and ready for their day. Me being the crazed sleep deprived mom I am, ordered PC to go back to bed... and then I went back to bed........

Tap. tap, tap , click, click, click .... Rolling over I look once again blurry eyed at the clock 4:05am .....I fling the covers off,  march into PC's room ..... demand he get off the computer and once again get his ass in that bed, I  don't care if you fall asleep, just pretend!!!!

Clunk, clunk , clunk .......OMG are you kidding me??? 4:27am ...once again flinging the covers off me, storming into PC's room I snap "Would you stop just stop.....with all the freaking noise"

PC: "Huh? What noise" because clearly when you are wearing headphones, you cant hear that you are making such a racket by kicking the wooden  armrest up and down on the futon!!!

OMG- and he wonders why he is an only child!!!