Armed and dangerous!

I was so excited this afternoon! I got off early (shocking really) today and armed with my gift cards headed to the stores to do what I do best SHOP, SHOP , SHOP! I plowed through the store grabbing dresses, tops, work out clothes and headed to the dressing room. From where I can see everyone had already been since clothes were tossed all over in every room! I get in mine, where I hear people whispering next to my dressing room.......hummm wonder what THEY are doing ! It was a man and a unless he was helping her with fashion tips or vice versa I think the hushed giggling gave them away! But who knows, then it hit me I got a side glance in the mirror and there it was staring me in the face , my 6 lbs I had gained since Thanksgiving ughhh add that to the other 8 lbs I gained since we do the math! I looked at all the dresses and decided I was not going to get naked in that 3 way mirror, with my giggling neighbors and my muffin top all in that tiny room!(Okay so really the neighbors were not in there, but might as well been! )I cant leave the store empty handed with $20.00 Bucs from the store that's free money! Am who am I to waste that! So I ended up with a picture frame and a candy dish for my blah gray desk at my big girl job! Depressing leaving the store with all those gift cards still in hand, but I am not buying a bigger size been there done that, gave it away (Thanks to my pal Squirt! )! So there is my New Years motivation.......I can't buy any clothes GASP! until I lose 10 lbs ....okay okay I know the math, but lets not get crazy! My hubby complained I was to skinny anyways! So I'll settle with 10! Starting of course Tomorrow! Happy News Years!

We survived!

Ahhh yes! We survived Christmas and my prediction that Prince Charming would wear his Ghillie suit all day(and then some) was correct! He woke up at 6am and was so excited that Santa ate the Cookie and took the apple for the reindeer! (And yet I wonder how I gained 6 lbs since Thanksgiving?) At 6:05 he was ripping through the presents as the hubby and I rubbed our sleepy eyes trying to focus as the tornado ripped through the packages......when it was a box that resembled clothes ( who am I fooling when it was a clothes box) he tossed it over his shoulder without looking at it! I'd say you didn't even open it, he'd reply "It's JUST clothes" and then rip the box open to please me, after all it is Christmas, one day a year he can be good right! By 6:15 he was suited up in his Ghillie suit and armed with his sniper air gun (minus the pellets of course) and out in the front yard ready to take on all the bad guys that came our way........just think if he'd been a girl we'd be playing with the Barbie dream house right about then, but no I have Rambo outside ready to take on the world! After round one ended I had everything cleaned up and ready to start round 2 by 6:30a.m. Ya know you shop and prepare a few months and in minutes all the hard work is over. If we had not been hosting brunch my tree and decorations would have been out the door at 6:30 as well. SO when round 2 started PC ripped through packages and was very excited when he received another Pellet gun...this time WITH Pellets....6,500 of them to be exact! Yes 6,500 little red pellets that his good ol aunt and uncle got him to go along with the pellet gun.....hummm silly , silly move guys since you all are having a BABY! And remember PAYBACKS are hell! Yes I see lots of noisy, messy, loads of toys heading straight to there house in the VERY near future! Hubby had good sense to hide the 6,500 pellets and PC hasn't found them yet, and quit asking so hopefully he'll forget! After everyone left at 12:30 hubby and I went to work, by 1:30 the tree was gone, the decorations were put away and Christmas looked like it never happen at our house! Ahh but yes we made it another year!


I feel like I am on a long road trip with the dreaded question ..."Are we there yet?" "How much longer" "Are we there yet?" repeat only a million times and then some! Christmas is tomorrow, just incase you are living on another planet and not yet aware of that fact! Yes Christmas is ughhh tomorrow! The ringing in my ears is my mother saying " It's the same time every year it's not like it sneaks up on you!" But somehow it does! Every year is the same you think your ready and WHAM! It's the day before and all those fancy four letter words come to mind when you remember oh %$#$@ I forgot to get this, or that and of course this and that! Then tomorrow morning in about 160 seconds flat my house will look like a tornado has ripped through it and then some! I imagine all my Christmas pictures will be of Prince Charming in his ghillie suit( for those of you that have that pondering look on your face a ghillie suit is what the Snipers and Military guys wear when they are hiding in the bushes, it's camo and looks like leaves and netting) PC will be invisible on all the photos or look like a huge pile of leaves. The hubby got him a sniper rifle as well.....wait wait before you pick up the phone to call the police it's a pellet gun, but his is coming without the cats and the squirrels will thank me for that gesture!

As soon as this holiday season is over I plan on getting balance back in my life! I have not been to the gym OMG do I dare say it out loud....since my birthday which is exactly 30 days ago! Did you think paying for a membership will count towards my workout? I will have to run that by Slacker......I am sure she can make it count for something! That's why I love delusional friends they can rationalize anything! Finding balance is my new goal for the new year! Fitting in all the things life has to offer and enjoying them too! Happy Holidays!

Oh no.......she didn't make it

Oh boy am I in trouble......Prince Charming came in all teary eyed this morning with his fist balled up, I looked and asked whats wrong and he opened his hand..........Now I am standing there like a deer in headlights with all kinds of inapporite words soaring through my brain as I looked and saw his TOOTH! Yes his tooth the one he lost yesterday, the same one he put in his pillow for the tooth fairy! But wait the tooth fairy had not made it! So I did what all of us sane ( yeah there is that word again hehehe) mother did and lied! Oh well buddy maybe she thought you were on her list by mistake, you have after all lost 3 teeth already in 2 weeks! ( Geez I tell you it's a good thing I have this big girl grown up job, between the dentist for him and the dang tooth fairy I may need another job! ) So he looks at me and is not convinced....well you know it is rather foggy out, she may be waiting til it lifts and then maybe she'll come while you are at school? Hummm that got a little better look.....but then of course he did what he does best and argued his case.....No she won't come it's daytime and the cat sleeps in my back and forth we went with the this and that I know I know it would be easier to just say Look kid there is no tooth fairy...........But every time he asks about the tooth fairy, Santa, Easter bunny and all those wonderful magical things I always say "As long as you believe they are real then they are" and he is happy with that and so am I . I think everyone should believe in something magical don't you?

I was almost busted 2 weeks ago when the 1st of 4 teeth fell out- at least that night the tooth fairy remembered to come! He calls me at work and says...."Mom the tooth fairy is not real, I just found my tooth in your room! She's not real you did it!" Well thank fully he can not see my face---deer in head lites look again as I responded....."Now why on earth would I give you money for your teeth? And what would I want to keep your teeth for? " Hummm yeah I guess your right, she must have dropped it! Imagine my surprise that he actually agreed with me!

So when I get to work I email the hubby who was sleeping soundly when we left for school to let him know that the tooth fairy forgot to come....Yet another surprise for me when he notifies me that she has been and left a whopping $20.00 since she was late coming! HELLO? Talk about late fees! I may have to start yanking MY teeth out to! I did however inform him that the tooth fairy doesn't usually pay THAT much for a tooth..........even if she is late! So I guess we'll have to see....I haven't heard if she returned to get some change yet!

Facebook and Scanners

You know your in trouble when you see in your're photo has been tagged from Facebook! My first thought is what? Then I open it an about scream when there I am in 6th grade with hair standing straight up in the air with a HUGE (probably bigger then my head) Pebbles Flintstone bow in my hair....silver no less....not looking real thrilled about having my picture taken either! Less thrilled about it being posted on Facebook by some dumbass with a scanner for all the world to see!

Oh but WAIT he doesn't just post one photo there are more! Only one more with me looking oh so fashionable (thank god he only has 2) with a horrible flowered jacket, a black necktie and yes the silver Pebbles bow, but I am luck because 3 other people are looking oh so fashionable with me, with BIG hair and awful outfits!

Only now one of those gals in the picture is my arch nemesis from high school! And here I look at her as we were friends in middle school ....until she became the boyfriend stealer, back stabbing , (insert lots of bad words here) girl.....and yes 18 years later still view her as my arch nemesis! Can you say Grudge? Yes I know like superman and kryptonite we can not be in the same room together, but thanks to the wonderful world of facebook and scanners here is proff that once upon a time she was not a boyfriend stealing, back stabbing ......girl she was my friend. Hummm makes you think that maybe I should facebook her and be friends......HA! That'll be the day! I'll keep my grudge another 18 years! Theres just somethings you don't do in the unwritten "girls code" and dating not 1 or 2 but 3 boyfriends is definitely one of them!

So thanks SCANNER boy for posting horrible photos and reminding me I was once friends with my arch nemesis!

Slacker No more.....

Wow my M-I-L wasn't kidding when she said I was slacking! I haven't posted since Oct. 10th! Geez gives a whole new meaning to SLACKER! Well where do I start? Hummm my excuse that WHY I haven't be blogging! I got a "big girl job" yes I am now worken a 4o plus hour work week! Helping coach soccer 3 days a week after work ......( and believe it or not we are 3 an 1) starting another on line course to help me with my new "big girl job" and oh yes.......homework with Prince Charming! Well that is another 30 plus hour job a week! I don't get it.....He (WE) made straight A's on OUR report card (First time EVER) ! But now he won't do anything....homework, class work....I really hate the thought of repeating 3rd grade, and I know I am assuming the worst, and the hubby says "Well don't you remember doing that and ......I'm sure I did" WELL NO 3rd grade I was still tryen to please the teachers not piss them off by being STUBBORN!

So I do what any sane (hehehe are there really any) mother does and make the teacher her xmass gift yes, bribing her to adore little PC like we all do....(most days) .....I whip together a diaper cake for the new baby that is popping out at anytime....sooner then later with the stress PC is putting on her! So I make a 2 layer diaper cake ( out of diapers not real cake) I asked PC is it going to be a boy or a girl? ....His answer is "I dunno looks kinda freakie to me....alittle like a blob" hummmm guessing we shared the ultrasound at school, so I make it with cute duckies and looks great ....only for PC to tell me this morning...."I'm not given her nothen...I don't like the teacher! " So I have in the closet for another day ....when he will like the teacher! Or maybe I will bring it the conference so she'll like me! Hummm better add some diamonds and rubbies to it! But come January I will have another teacher to bribe's been a long year and we're only in December!

Geez December....well brings me to my next thing....My goal to run a 5k before my bday...while yes the 6th anniversary of my 29th bday has come and gone and I did not make that goal. I really ....REALLY ...REALLY hate running so that goal wasn't my brightest idea! And with my big girl job.....who has time to learn to run properly! Yeah who am I fooling! I really really hate running! :) I have been slacking on being at the gym....but slacker no more! I was there this morning at 5:30am.......I do have to say in my "slackerness" (is that a word...if not add it to the Pepperisms list" ) I have had to call Slacker Senior to clarify some of her delusional rules....such as I am in my workout clothes, driving BY the gym, parking, walking PAST the gym , PEEKING inside, but shopping at the store NEXT to it does that count towards working out???! And wouldn't you know I get bonus points for that! Counts as an EXTRA workout too since I walked BY and Looked in! Gotta love your delusional friends!

When in doubt it counts!