tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6739963065516603712024-03-13T05:22:53.692-04:00 Pep's BubbleEveryday life ramblings and quirky thoughts that pass thou my head and keep me awake at night! My take on life, men, kids, worken out, shoppen, blah, blah, blah....Pepperhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15820871786854131190noreply@blogger.comBlogger188125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-673996306551660371.post-32758790457134679422018-10-10T19:42:00.001-04:002018-10-10T19:42:46.531-04:00Dont worry Daddy, I'll be fine I keep repeating the words, over and over again, "Don't worry Daddy, I'll be fine", to myself and to my dad, at some point it will be true.<br />
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It was Friday night 5 days ago, that my dad came to the decision that he would not suffer with chemo, he wanted palliative care and hospice set up, and pain management, so he could go pain free and peacefully. Saturday morning I went over and spent time with him, he was calm, clear and level headed. He would look over and say, "<a href="http://pepsbubble.blogspot.com/2018/10/dont-worry-youngin-ill-be-fine.html" target="_blank">Don't worry younin', I'll be fine</a>" I left him Saturday peacefully sleeping in his recliner. Sunday I went over and he had aged another 100 years, over night, he wasn't the peaceful man I left less than 24 hours prior, he was in a lot of pain, and just wanted us to go, so he could rest, I wasn't sure he'd make it through the night. By Monday I had arranged for Hospice to come and meet me at the house on Tuesday at 9AM. I had answered all the necessary questions, taken all the info down that she gave me, in my handy little binder that now contained every aspect of my daddy's medical history over the past 5 weeks, as I am the adult in charge. 37 minutes passed when I got the call that my daddy was back on his way to the hospital in an ambulance, off I rushed out the door to meet him there.<br />
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Mama Pepper, my rock , rode over with me, I am fortune that they didn't have a nasty divorce, people may not understand the dynamics that the 3 of us have together, if they did, more divorced couples, would choose to be this way, especially when children are involved. Even now as the adult in charge, I need them both, in a way most don't understand.<br />
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When we arrived to the ER, it was then at that very moment that I became the real adult in charge, I couldn't wait for the real one to show up, they were late and I was it. I spoke to the first ER doc, who wanted to know his medical history, he asked hard questions, and told the truth that he only had a few hours or maybe a day or two to live. He helped me fill out a DNR, which I had to do 3 times, since I couldn't seem to get the names in the right location, because my eyes were leaky and I couldn't read the damn thing to fill it out. Finally he filled it out, held his finger where to sign and he signed below my name to make it official. When I heard my daddy screaming in pain, as several nurses gathered around trying to get a line in, to give medication, as he now has pneumonia, I went in and screamed for everyone to stop, and not touch my dad. Everything halted, and all stood there staring at me the little loud redhead, the adult in charge, standing there in the ER with all eyes on me. All 3 nurses fled the room while I ran to the glass window, tapping rapidly on it to get the other ER docs attention, I wanted him, the truth teller to come help me. He said another doctor was assigned to the case, that doctor, spoke to me like my daddy would be leaving the hospital to return home...... so clearly he was freaken crazy, no I needed the truth teller, and not the other guy he's an idiot. I refused and said that doesn't work for me, I need you to tell to these people to get him sedated and out of pain, before they do anything else. The idiot doctor resigned himself from being my dads doctor, as he doesn't do "comfort care", he's there to "cure people" ~~~~News flash ass-hat he's terminal, the cancer is eating him from the inside out, there is no curing him. He transferred his chart to another on the hospice wing. And for the record, not a fan of the next new guy, who also made mention that we could send my dad home when he felt better, clearly they are not looking at the same man I am laying in that bed, so I am only dealing with the hospice nurse, to handle his care, they understand. </div>
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I had the hospice care transferred to the palliative care hospice wing at the hospital. Getting him settled as much as we could and letting him know, its okay you won't have to move from here, he seemed to relax some, they installed a morphine pump, and gave some other heavy duty drugs and he drifted off to sleep. By Tuesday everyone in the wing knew who I was, the little red head, the adult in charge, who has frequent melt downs, the moment I heard a moan come from my Dad, and that no crying rule that Mama Pepper has, has been suspended. I have the bed next to his so that I can sleep, I can cry, I can just lay there and watch him breathe, in and out, stop....I think finally he's at peace .......and then he starts all over again.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLGi54wEunkbMTOk9gMgvkzGREjqJ7EJeukQ0i_WAIfFYObulKqeMV1csA8_G3cDckBBAmc7hKAWluy8FEnaaV1dUmb9Wzb2EXfH_1mFmc8ylBrVY7Y39xXa0Hyp53hvc9SsvNEKo0RWI/s1600/dad_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="960" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLGi54wEunkbMTOk9gMgvkzGREjqJ7EJeukQ0i_WAIfFYObulKqeMV1csA8_G3cDckBBAmc7hKAWluy8FEnaaV1dUmb9Wzb2EXfH_1mFmc8ylBrVY7Y39xXa0Hyp53hvc9SsvNEKo0RWI/s200/dad_n.jpg" width="200" /></a>Tuesday was spent playing some of his favorite songs, and some of mine, that we'd sing together "Devil went down to Georgia" and "Another One Bites The Dust" we laughed hysterically at my suggestions, but we played them anyways, why wouldn't we, hell we even played them at my wedding! Mama Pepper and I cried, she sat there telling stories, all while he rested peacefully and we prayed with the chaplain (<i>amazingly none of us ...well me or my dad caught on fire.....we all know Mama Pepper has her golden ticket</i>). They would come in and reassure us that it will be soon.I had fallen sound asleep on Tuesday, he hadn't made a sound in hours, I drifted off, for the first time in days about 5PM, when I heard a scream I will never forget, I open my eyes, jump out of the bed, and lunged at the aid, who was checking on my dad. She had bumped him, which woke/ startled him, the morphine pump had run dry, the alarm sounded and I was screaming at her to not touch him, all the nurses charged in the room, trying to handle the chaos. The screams and the face my daddy made as I tried to comfort him, while they sedated him quickly, will haunt me for the rest of my life. This lasted maybe a minute or less, but felt like a lifetime. He is now sedated and will not wake, even if they did bump him, which I can assure you, they won't. I made my daddy a promise, he would go in peace, he would be pain free, and the whole wing (and possibly the whole ER) knows that the little red head, the adult in charge, the one with frequent melt downs is not kidding when she tells them that he will not be in pain and he will go peacefully.<br />
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After 15 hours I had to come home, I thought maybe he was holding on for me, since I was there, maybe he will pass when we leave, after all he didn't want to be rude and leave the party early right? I repeated to him all day and night "Don't worry Daddy, I'll be fine", after all I am the adult in charge, I even chuckled at the thought that I am the adult in charge, who's idea was that again? We prayed he would go, I need them to call me and say he passed in his sleep, Mama Pepper drove me home, because apparently contacts and leaky eyes, don't mix, so I couldn't see by the end of the day. I waited for that call all night long, then this morning at 4AM, I called and he is still resting peacefully......I think my heart stopped, how can he still be holding on? Is he waiting for me to come back? Mama Pepper and I waited for the break in the storm and headed back to the hospital at 6AM.<br />
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In typical my daddy, stubborn as a bull fashion, he's doing what he wants, he will leave when he is ready, and not any sooner. You can tell him that lunch is at 12PM he will arrive at 9:30AM, every single time. Obviously he plans on riding out this storm, he loved a good hurricane or any storm for that matter, he'd sit in the lawn chair outside with his Michelob he'd call me and say "Youngin' you should see this wind whipping around" and then tell me all the things flying around, as I would gasp and tell him to get back inside before he blows away and as always he ended the call with "Don't worry youngin' I'll be fine".<br />
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Its now Wednesday evening,I am home for now, he is still resting peacefully, riding this one last storm out. I hope when this storm passes so does he, before I left today I repeated over and over "Don't worry Daddy, I'll be fine, we will be fine, I got this, you need to get on your way, you have a party to attend" And I reminded him that he was worried about me, he could always send the winning lotto tickets, think of all the glitter and vinyl and crafting I could do with that. I wish someone would tell me what time this party was going to start, so I can get him on his way, I know he wouldn't want to be late! Its true, I will be fine, I have a huge, amazing support system, and between Mama Pepper and Daddy they taught me to be strong, to be brave, to keep my sense of humor, because if you can cry about it, you can also laugh about it and that will get me through these next few hurdles, I have to go. I might trip, I might stumble, but I will always get back up, it just might take a minute or so.<br />
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At the moment, my heart hurts, with every minute that passes, every second I know he is with us, my heart is heavy and I think it might break in a million pieces, it takes my breathe away, but I will be fine. I will be at peace when he goes, I will heal when he goes............."Don't worry Daddy, I will be fine".</div>
Pepperhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15820871786854131190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-673996306551660371.post-2172252873119670182018-10-05T22:43:00.000-04:002018-10-05T22:43:34.632-04:00"Don't worry youngin', I'll be fine" Exactly one month ago today, I received a call that my dad was in the hospital. Mama Pepper and my dad have been divorced as long as I can remember (and if I had any clue how old I am, then it would be close to that age I think), I am so unbelievably lucky that they always remembered they still had "something" or "someone" in common ......little ol' me..... the little princess, the one and only, the apple of their eye, and if they had an ugly divorce, I was not aware, I was not touched by any ugly rumors, or hatred that is so common in those situations. Mama Pepper hopped in the car and off we went to the hospital, over in Lakeland to go check on my dad. <div>
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Once we arrived, I whipped the door to the hospital room open, and it literally knocked the wind out of my sail, I closed it again, looked at Mama Pepper and said "This cant be right, that's not him". There was my dad, sleeping, looking like a frail old man. In the 3 months since my last visit, he aged 100 years. When we opened the door back up, and I took my hand and touched his bony shoulder to wake him, his eyes popped open, he looked confused and then sat up in the bed and said "I have cancer". I just looked at him for a moment and then he continued, "its in my spine, its in my lungs, its in my kidneys, and in my bones". I went to speak and when no words came out, my daddy, the frail old man looking back at me, said "Its okay youngin', I'll beat this. I don't want you to worry". </div>
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These last 4 weeks, have been a series of test, biopsies, a collapsed lung and 8 rounds radiation to his spine, which is crumbling from the bone cancer. After 3 1/2 weeks in the hospital, they sent my dad home. He was happy to be home but the pain is constant, there is no relief, and yet he still says to me "I don't want you to worry". I am now the adult in charge, I keep looking around, waiting for the real adult to show up and take over, but they haven't, so I guess I can fake it til I make it. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzndG7FxOIGzvp3wCNCh3sqVVgf83GWeBeElRmBEZ_4Kc2zxAXxmJNmaJoDS3bmDfHESDTfFxUo_FNVG319ZHYxobUFK29wNNgjElmVx65byuLRbqf3I92DwmNFOvvVWhwUtQ3UQOmDLw/s1600/adulting.PNG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="194" data-original-width="450" height="137" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzndG7FxOIGzvp3wCNCh3sqVVgf83GWeBeElRmBEZ_4Kc2zxAXxmJNmaJoDS3bmDfHESDTfFxUo_FNVG319ZHYxobUFK29wNNgjElmVx65byuLRbqf3I92DwmNFOvvVWhwUtQ3UQOmDLw/s320/adulting.PNG" width="320" /></a>After collecting his medical records, I poured over there searching for my questions to be answered, questions I asked my daddy and he would say " I don't know, they haven't told me, don't worry youngin' I'll be fine". I found a few words I understand, like stage 4, googled the rest - which I do not recommend googling big medical words, they just seem scarier. I called in a favor at work, gave the medical records to one of the top surgeons, I need the "Dummies Version" of these! I just need to know what are we facing, I need to know how bad is this, and what do I do. He was so kind, and sat and read all the reports, asked me questions and in the end told me that I should take measures to make my dad comfortable, his cancer has spread so rapidly, that there is no cure, chemo will not help, it will only prolong the pain, he has maybe a few months at best. I think my heart stopped, I was very brave as Mama Pepper has that no crying rule, which I normally suck at, but I put my brave face on and thanked him for reviewing everything. I did sob like a baby when he left, but I already knew it wasn't good, but my daddy keeps saying "Don't worry youngin', I'll be fine". </div>
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I went to my dad's 1st follow up appointment this week since he was released from the hospital, I had the medical binder I put together, it contains all my dad's info, all my notes, all my legal paperwork as I am officially the adult in charge, I did look around, to see if the real adult would show up, but they did not. The doctor wants to start chemo next week, I gasped when he suggested that and questioned him on everything, asked to explain the benefits, the side effects, the survival rate, he is stage 4 through out his entire body, his bones are crumbling and at a moments notice he could turn the wrong way and end up snapping his spine and end up paralyzed. My dad agreed he would try it and then if he felt it made things worse he wanted to do palliative care and hospice. He looked over at me, the adult in charge, and said "Don't worry youngin' I'll be fine. I am ready to go home now". </div>
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At first I thought maybe my dad doesn't realize or understand, how bad it is. Maybe its the pain meds? How can he think its going to be ok? How can he think there is anyway out of this? And then I think what is wrong with me? Why am I not more positive he will find his way and "everything will be fine"? I can see that with every breathe he takes in and out, he is in pain, every move or shift he is in pain. I feel guilt, because I haven't been there like I should, Life is busy, with work, and life, I feel guilt that he doesn't really know the Prince like I knew my grand-daddy, because he doesn't understand the issues he has, I should have tried harder when he would decline coming down for holidays, I should have fought harder to make time to get over there to check on him. I should have done more. </div>
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Tonight I called to check on my dad and he wanted to tell me he talked to the doctor and they told him that there is no cure for what he has, and he does not want to do chemo, he has made the decision to have me, the adult in charge, set him up for hospice, he wants to go pain free, he wants everyone to know this was his decision, and this is what he wants to do, and in typical my daddy fashion he ended the conversation with "Don't worry youngin', I'll be fine". And for the first time, in 4 weeks, I felt a relief, I felt like he really knew what he was saying, he understood his diagnoses and he was at peace with it. I felt sadness, knowing that he doesn't have much time left, I am hopeful that he will pass peacefully in his sleep with no regrets and no pain. </div>
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I have watched friends and family lose their parents and my heart breaks for them. I know its never easy to lose a loved one, I have lost many, as I've watched others do the same. I never realized it would be a different heartache, one that takes a part of your breathe with the thought that the end is near. My daddy is ready, he is calm, his mind is sharp, he is certain, this is his decision and once he makes his mind up, there is no changing it. which tells me that this tremendous pain he is suffering with, has gone on much longer than he admits. </div>
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I know that he will be fine, because he has told me so..........At some point, I hope the adult in charge shows up and takes over, until then I will try to be strong and brave, and remember Mama Pepper's rule of no crying ~ </div>
Pepperhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15820871786854131190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-673996306551660371.post-67442508976113554672018-04-13T13:38:00.000-04:002018-04-13T13:38:16.690-04:00EWW Whats that smell?
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Did you know that for the first time since 1956, Easter
Sunday fell on April Fool's Day (April 1<sup><span style="font-size: x-small;">st</span></sup>). Since 1900, Easter has
fallen on April Fool's Day only four times - 1923, 1934, 1945 and 1956. It
won't happen again until 2029. And this year that Easter bunny definitely left
us some tricks to deal with! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Easter morning started with me playing sous- chef to the
Prince while we made Easter Brunch <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>and
taking directions on how<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I should season
this, add that, flip the bacon ……..um wait a minute I thought we were cooking
together? Not me taking orders while you sit on the couch! I will admit only
here and not to the Master Chef aka Prince Charming, I should have followed his
lead on the pancakes, but that’s water under the bridge…….or shall I say sink! Cleaning
up from brunch I noticed that the carpet by the sink was wet. The Prince and I
have been complaining of a “smell/ odor …some kind of funk” for a few months,
and the hubster couldn’t smell anything! I was driving myself crazy (and that’s
a short drive) with “WTF is that smell” buying ever possible cleaner for the
sink, dishwasher, garbage disposable, so after everyone left, <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I told the hubster we need to take that kick
plate off, because there has to be water down there or dead body or something!!
I think to get me to <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">pipe down</i> (see
what I did there) he took it off and was shocked at what we discovered! </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrmJnv7Uawhb0reY5UTBYFm7JbjmiSehoVaThwkj8DgsRuYxtUBCfkWIPJcskF4ODb4_OQNJTdN-Dbee850q1pF0shSIzu1VVrq7fngR7z-0uQHDqodbt7qyOz3YpMn6cF4w-baRGIF-s/s1600/30594466_10156155654649034_7653150831163736064_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="960" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrmJnv7Uawhb0reY5UTBYFm7JbjmiSehoVaThwkj8DgsRuYxtUBCfkWIPJcskF4ODb4_OQNJTdN-Dbee850q1pF0shSIzu1VVrq7fngR7z-0uQHDqodbt7qyOz3YpMn6cF4w-baRGIF-s/s320/30594466_10156155654649034_7653150831163736064_n.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I am pretty confident that next time I complain of something
not “<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">smelling right</i>” that hubster
will jump into action and check it out! Clearly I have a sense of smell and he …..does
not! After removing the kick plate, we discovered the rotting, decaying,
zombies underneath the floor or could have been mold, sludge and just ewwwww
(my guess is zombies). Hubster certainly smelled it that time, and I added a
few “<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">I told you so’s</i>” in for good
measure!!! <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Time to grab the homeowner’s policy and if you have never
really looked at yours, it’s time for a chuckle or a good cry. It’s good to
know that our homeowners insurance will cover damages if we have a volcanic eruption,
or if an aircraft lands on the house, creek floods are also covered should a creek
ever run rapid in the house ....but not floods from rain, no nothing practical
could be covered like rain in Florida. The leak itself is not covered, but
getting to the leak, which is behind the kitchen cabinets, which needed to be
removed to get to the leak, is somewhat covered. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">The insurance agent sent a “leak specialist” out to yep
confirm that we do indeed have a leak ……<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">No
Shit Sherlock – I could have told you that, hence the water all over the place</i>!
At first assessment of the situation they wanted to go through the backroom
where the bar is, you know….. the same room that just GOT FINISHED from
renovations …..I think hubster may have told them that would be over my dead
body, or they would have a raging redhead lunatic after them but he soon convinced them
that it needed to be through the kitchen, because that’s where the original
part of the house is and where the water was leaking from. </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivpKDYiAOpQcbAottYHpgDdmwq9H6hSz3Og8HTXDKNTlefJso4OfjzUzOMD-hk4Sxj6cnVlhn3gmh9aEI9Aw0TgZnZoj5tnGg32nOT0W2i_mbEECwDezwpky4QfEK3pOt3ffOFfzkr1ec/s1600/30531402_10156155667229034_4948374809772818432_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="540" data-original-width="960" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivpKDYiAOpQcbAottYHpgDdmwq9H6hSz3Og8HTXDKNTlefJso4OfjzUzOMD-hk4Sxj6cnVlhn3gmh9aEI9Aw0TgZnZoj5tnGg32nOT0W2i_mbEECwDezwpky4QfEK3pOt3ffOFfzkr1ec/s320/30531402_10156155667229034_4948374809772818432_n.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: Calibri;">A contractor came to remove the counter and cabinets to get to
the wall where that leak is, good thing hubster was supervising, since he was
going to basically leave the water in the walls and let it dry up with the dehumidifier……
that plan changed when hubster knocked a few holes in the wall, and more zombie
guts spilled out (okay it could have been more moldy, gross, ewww water).
Insert gallons of bleach, spray, cleaner and the smell is finally gone! So is
50% of the kitchen, so we decided that since we would have to pay deductible ,
that we would just use that money and put in a new kitchen, the contractor
wanted to rebuild the base cabinets and reuse the old doors, drawers and
counter. Ummm….so we pay out a deductible and get the same shit back? No
thanks! Besides the cat is very comfy in her new drawer that she has claimed,
how could we possibly put that back in the cabinet? </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Another day, another project, another adventure! Its exciting, and annoying but will be amazing when its done! Oh good news is the PIG border that we already put up in the kitchen about 4 months ago .....will be staying!! And the dead zombie smell is gone ..............so all will be good! </span><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><o:p></o:p></span> </div>
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Pepperhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15820871786854131190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-673996306551660371.post-47794167409076349102018-03-22T19:00:00.001-04:002018-03-22T19:00:49.278-04:00Let it go There comes a time in your life when you just have to step back, take a good look at things and just let go. Let go of your expectations of what life should be like, let go of that need to meet everyone’s approvals and their demands, and their expectations of you and what they think you should be doing. It’s hard, it’s scary and it doesn’t come naturally to just let go of that control, of what you think you know, what you think your life should be like and what others think of you. The what if’s, the shoulda, coulda, woulda all come flooding in at a rapid speed, you second guess every decision you’ve made in life, but if you can just let it go, and take it one day at a time, one minute at a time, one moment at a time, things will change, you get a new window to peer out of that has a different view and the tunnel looks a little brighter.<br />
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11 months ago, I made (we made) a huge decision, that not everyone agreed with, but we did it anyways, because you know what, we let it go. We stopped second guessing our choices, we let go of that preconceived notation that all kids are meant to be in a classroom, and made a bold choice to <a href="http://pepsbubble.blogspot.com/2017/05/back-at-it.html" target="_blank">withdraw the Prince</a> from school after he turned 16. It was the hardest decision I’ve ever made, was I doing the right thing? How would I know, I had tried public, private, charter, online and homeschool, this seemed to be my last option, but how would I know if this is the right choice. I had to just let it go, and stop worrying what others would/ did say, because you know what .....they don’t live in my shoes, they didn’t see the daily struggles to get through the day, they just knew what they “thought” our lives “should” be like. That decision I struggled with everyday, I stopped writing because I thought all I’m doing is documenting my failures as a parent, and figured I had enough reminders, and it would help justify the “judgy-mc-judgers” out there that they were right.<br />
I spent the summer convincing the Prince that he would be taking GED classes in the evening starting in September, I worked with the teacher and arranged for him to come during office hours to take the pretest, which he passed with flying colors for reading, science and social studies. As for math he was 6 points away from passing, it’s not a subject he’s at all interested in, and therefore he didn’t put a lot of effort in it! Two nights a week he went to the college to work on math with a family friend who also signed up with the Prince and in January the teacher said he had passing scores to begin testing. On Feb. 1st I told the Prince he had 4 test, I was giving him 4 weeks, and he would be graduated by March 1st. End of story, we’d have this past us and look forward to the next chapter. </div>
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I’m so proud to say that he took the challenge, he took one test a week for that 4 weeks that he picked himself the subject and signed up on his own each week.He now has his high school diaploma at 16, as of February 27th. While they forgot to add mine and the hubsters name to his diapolma, I can tell you when he sent me the picture of his diploma after his last test, I finally felt the weight lift off my shoulders, the tunnel opened up and I knew I had finally got something in this parenting gig right! While we took a different path then most, he still ended up at the same destination, just a year AHEAD of time!<br />
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I know it’s a natural response that everyone is like “what’s next”? And I have to remind them that he’s only 16, we have time to sort this out, after all what were you doing at 16? You were in high school as a sophomore or junior, right ? So just let us celebrate this win. We deserve it, it’s been a daily struggle for years with school, I just want to soak it in. The Prince is happier than he has been in years, the weight of the stress with school is off his shoulders for now. It doesn’t mean he will never go back, it means he will choose his path, it will be a side road leading to his own journey. No one can choose it for him, should he want to go to college or a trade school or be an inventor, a chef or a rock polisher ......we will be there to help lead him, but in the end he is a strong willed young man,<br />
who will need to make that choice on his own and follow where that dirt road leads him.<br />
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I spent the last 11 months letting go of what others thought of our choices, stopped explaining myself to “judgy-mc- judgers” because it really doesn’t matter what they say or think. I know that we did what’s right by our son, and no one can ever tell me differently and that alone helps me sleep at night. I know one day the Prince will look back and know we did the best we could and he was loved and understood in a difficult period of his life. I hope he realizes this prior to putting me and hubster in the old folks home!<br />
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But as a sneak peek into what’s next.....so that you don’t have the risk of my tossing a throat punch your way .......when everyone says “well now what”? The Prince wants to get his restricted drivers license......he’s interested in finding a job, of course it’s a job that doesn’t involve people....so that’s a bit tough to find....after a career assessment he found he could be a rock polisher ......Didn’t even know that’s such a thing......<br />
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And a thank you to Meme for telling me to update my blog! It’s been a long time coming!<br />
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Pepperhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15820871786854131190noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-673996306551660371.post-2318656510183516262017-05-24T20:46:00.002-04:002017-05-24T20:56:30.738-04:00BMI Chart - Suck It <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLMHjqJsCmeOHepVhucDQzBfLJjvO5Vk-l7m3he66DnreANpQyrvYwNWupJYwgo-aIOZ9yGW-xx_6pHKzJ-4alWMv2xHeZDB4PqEMJyzCtH1lWbdGYJiSkH2VULYQTuFBrPv9Ejbr2__Y/s1600/dont-bother-hiding-your-underwear.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="165" data-original-width="236" height="223" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLMHjqJsCmeOHepVhucDQzBfLJjvO5Vk-l7m3he66DnreANpQyrvYwNWupJYwgo-aIOZ9yGW-xx_6pHKzJ-4alWMv2xHeZDB4PqEMJyzCtH1lWbdGYJiSkH2VULYQTuFBrPv9Ejbr2__Y/s320/dont-bother-hiding-your-underwear.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">Do you ever stop and think WHY am I doing this? Like for
example …….. Why am I folding my bra and panties as I strip down to my birthday
suit and WHY am I now hiding them under my pants and shirt on top of <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>the chair! Yep - you guessed it, it’s that
time of year and I’m at the doctors for my annual “hoo hah” exam and I’m
hiding my bra and panties ……why? I mean really the doc is going to be up close
and personal with the “hoo –hah” and but no …….she can’t see my
unmentionables? I put on my fashionable gown which of course has to go forward
facing, because well, she also has to feel up or as they say …..inspect the
girls. So there I sit in my most vulnerable state, naked as a jaybird but now
wearing a lovely “front facing” plaid gown, which totally clashes with my red
beaded necklace and I wait for that knock at the door ……….<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";">Knock ……Enter stage left – the door opens and in walks my doctor.
She complements how great my hair looks and how she loves the style it’s cut in
– <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Oh how sweet I think</i> (and I must
agree my I was having a good hair day) ……and then she goes in for the kill. She
flips a piece of paper over and shows me my weight chart the past few years to let me know I am
now in the obese rage according to my height and weight WTF? Am I being punked?? My heart stops, and it
takes everything I have in me not to start screaming obscenities at her, and I
feel the latch on the flood gates start to pry open, as if I don’t know that I
have gained weight over the past few years WTF??</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6P4exzfhS-YHhinAyUGYjwiFf7UdjWRoFlJjINHtSTfxY6OdYWXXATrgGbNlghl-VevIR-eLZx0X-9didcTNGPAWFUmvA96sdQKoDHEr5pyGdkW4BbA-p-5mbmdWfzkyFmdw9iLxANRY/s1600/according-to-the-bmi-chart-my-weight-is-fine-m-11822068.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="372" data-original-width="500" height="238" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6P4exzfhS-YHhinAyUGYjwiFf7UdjWRoFlJjINHtSTfxY6OdYWXXATrgGbNlghl-VevIR-eLZx0X-9didcTNGPAWFUmvA96sdQKoDHEr5pyGdkW4BbA-p-5mbmdWfzkyFmdw9iLxANRY/s320/according-to-the-bmi-chart-my-weight-is-fine-m-11822068.png" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "calibri";">The doc keeps waving the chart
around to tell me that I need to exercise more and eat less and stop drinking
sodas. Ummm okay wait lets back the bus up (<em>right over her fat head</em>) I do work
out, plus we walk the furkids almost every night (<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">and hasn’t she heard I am the FitBit Step Nazi) </i>I don’t eat THAT
much and I don’t even drink sodas!!! As she continues to wave this lovely graph
in my face she said I was at a good weight in 2013 – I need to do whatever I
was doing back then because what I’m doing now clearly isn’t working. I looked
at her and said I was taking diet pills that you yelled at me for taking and you
told me NOT to take because they could kill me! Humm should I go back to those
because clearly I was doing it right back then!! You just said so yourself!! Well
that put a stop to her waving the chart in my face, now she has placed it on my
purse, like it’s my fucking prize for coming to the doctors!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";">We finish my exam of the nether regions at least that gets a
glowing review, she tells me to cut out this and that and up my cardio to try
to lose some of this weight……………yeah thanks doc go ruin some other poor saps
soul – but hey at least I’m having a good hair day.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";">My (<i>soon to be former</i>) doctor knows my medical history, I have seen her for over 20 + years, she knows I have struggled with bulimia and body dysmorphia since I was in about the 7th grade all the way until I was pregnant at 27 with the Prince! I think being pregnant helped me see the light - I cant say it cured me of being bulimic because you never really are cured from an eating disorder, but it did make me wonder WTF I was doing, because when I was pregnant, every morning, noon and night my feet hit the floor I was throwing up! I know gross - but that's when it hit me......I did this on purpose!!! For how long??? OMG - I really am crazy! I've relapsed more times then I care to admit over the years, but I was finally at a point where I accepted the changes my body has made - NO I don't always agree with my body - but I will say "the girls" are still perky and fabulous and I can still rock that hourglass shape ....its just I've added bigger curves - and that's ok (well most days). I no longer focus on the numbers of the scale (or at least try not to), the hubs has drilled into my head that its not the numbers on the scale but the way you feel, the way your clothes feel and yada yada yada , and I feel pretty good - yeah I'd like to be thinner but who wouldn't - I no longer let it control my life ....I finally felt in control! </span><span style="font-family: "calibri";">Its taken us being together for 20 years to finally let that be what I repeat in my head instead of focusing on the numbers of the scale which I usually don't even get on. For the record .....I've never been "allowed" to own a scale until about 5 years ago was when we finally got one! I was to obsessive (yes me shocker I know) and let it totally control what or if I ate for the day! It was a viscous cycle, so not owning a scale was a better option for me and my mental well being. </span><br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWlDVmB_Ru-BGBwrUpqfjgTNDQQ_0FBF0cY850cJBQUJSam9e44RhbEsmPh7SUEKl3lReqfuYW1ledM9NU0iPOqiLe_NheMS9AM7ClZoOGG_xzr-GoYsl-tmjZGoYtRM1utTB9IrlOnBQ/s1600/0f2fc230ba6055bc6d8c182314669626.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="640" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWlDVmB_Ru-BGBwrUpqfjgTNDQQ_0FBF0cY850cJBQUJSam9e44RhbEsmPh7SUEKl3lReqfuYW1ledM9NU0iPOqiLe_NheMS9AM7ClZoOGG_xzr-GoYsl-tmjZGoYtRM1utTB9IrlOnBQ/s320/0f2fc230ba6055bc6d8c182314669626.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "calibri";"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">Needless to say this single comment has put me in a total tail spin,</span><span style="font-family: "calibri";"> for the rest of the day, week, month probably the next year until I have to go back to her...... well wait ......I think I'll be looking for a new doctor , maybe one with a better bedside manner!!! And the doctor can take her BMI Chart and shove it right up her ................</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">well you know! </span></div>
Pepperhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15820871786854131190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-673996306551660371.post-51906273976138333782017-05-23T14:46:00.001-04:002017-05-23T16:17:17.661-04:00BACK AT IT <span style="color: #454545; font-family: "uictfonttextstylebody"; font-size: 19px;">I ended my last blog entry in August ....yes August 2016 with ........</span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); color: #454545; font-family: "uictfonttextstylebody"; font-size: 19px;"><em>WTF? WTF? WTF? I'm going to try to homeschool, and hope to hell I can teach him something other then "Pepper-isms"! I haven't yet figured out when we actually do this "homeschool" thing, since I have this J-O-B thing I go to.......but we'll figure it out!</em> </span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2rBVibiPKI1AkdMBJN9wXmX4ehRFODZVfrQDCR-lX3YOtdkUYu0PoFH2QNpCvMdsQv5khnORs91pu_J5ikMOk1AIR4BgcwfDHrcaBGCo3otNCyGOzUK2xrzH6rvKp906XBxg7_TAvwU8/s1600/no-one-is-harder-on-me-than-me-so-take-4005988.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2rBVibiPKI1AkdMBJN9wXmX4ehRFODZVfrQDCR-lX3YOtdkUYu0PoFH2QNpCvMdsQv5khnORs91pu_J5ikMOk1AIR4BgcwfDHrcaBGCo3otNCyGOzUK2xrzH6rvKp906XBxg7_TAvwU8/s320/no-one-is-harder-on-me-than-me-so-take-4005988.png" width="306" /></a>Well I can say that this has been an epic fail in my parenting skills, we never figured it out, everyday I still wonder WTF?? The Prince turned 16 in April, and I withdrew him from homeschool just yesterday and will be signing him up to take his GED. When will that be? I have no idea, my guess is when I can get him to leave the house, I mentioned it yesterday and he went into hiding ....so yeah it wont be soon. Is it an ideal plan? Nope - but its the only one I've got right now. For those that keep asking but then what? I don't freaking know......And for the record just so we are clear .......... continuing to ask me, doesn't help. I judge myself more than you can ever image, so you can stop, there really is no need for it, I am doing it for the both of us - so don't you worry ....I got this! <br />
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<em>Oh sorry - that little rant was a long time in the making ........and probably why I haven't written in so long! But I've learned a few things this year, you're never going to please everyone, not everyone is always going to like you, they aren't always going to be on your side and that's okay - its truly their loss ~ and besides I really miss writing, and for the two people that may read this nonsense, I bet they miss me to! </em><br />
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It's not how I thought things would turn out. I had a hard time with the Prince turning 16, I had leaky eyes for weeks before, during and after ( and yes still) this milestone. The leaky eyes were more like flood gates, all I could think was this isn't how I thought it would be, he should be experiencing things like getting a drivers licenses, going to prom, homecoming, girlfriends and getting a J-O-B. </div>
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I've watched in envy from the sidelines of Facebook and life as everyone has celebrated these milestones their kids have made this year from sports, boyfriends, girlfriends, proms, homecomings getting their licenses and now graduations. Don't get me wrong I celebrated with you, I cheered when you cheered, I ohhhh and ahhh at every photo and story I read. I admire that you've got this parenting gig down. I'm not the jealous type, I've never looked at someone's life and said "<em>oh I wish that was my life</em>" because let's face it, life isn't always greener on the other side of the grass, usually it's spray painted. But I find myself jealous of those milestones that you are so proudly posting ( which you should be proud! I sure as hell would be too- hell I'm proud when the Prince takes a shower and uses soap and shampoo) I find that I'm jealous that not just you but your gem will have those memories forever. I hope that someday things will change, the Prince will grow into the amazing young man I know he is and he to will experience these things....until then I will live vicariously through you on Facebook. </div>
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Over the past year I've looked back over my blog post trying to figure out where I went wrong, I need to remember some of the things I actually write - because let's face it - some of it is good advice that I spew out, like <em>why does it have to be something I did wrong, why can't I accept the fact that the Prince is wired differently than others?</em> It's true, I know it's true and yet .......there still that nagging in the back of my head, that forever ongoing internal conversation in my head that just keeps asking why.......why is it like this? And those judg-y ass people peering over in my lane....I got this ...no need to help with the constant clutter in my head. </div>
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I wrote an open letter to the Prince on his birthday (it's posted below) I printed it out and stuck it in his birthday card, the Prince isn't much on expressing emotions, but when I later went into his room, he looked up at me, tapped the letter smiled at me and touched his heart and the letter again and went back to doing his thing, while to most that wouldn't seem like much, but to me it meant the world. He gets it .....and really in the end that's who matters. <br />
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Do I know what's next? Nope I have no clue, I'll just put one foot in front of the other and keep going and that's all I got! Now all those judg-y folks just stay in your lane or risk the chance of me running you over ~ </div>
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<em>Open letter to the Prince........</em></div>
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<em>To my baby bouncing boy who is now towering over me, I want you to know I love you with all my heart (even on those days I want to string you up by your toes which…………. is often). 16 years ago you came into this world all on your own terms, arriving 4 weeks earlier than expected, I mean hey I still had shopping to do, but no way did you want to wait and cook a little longer!! You flew out of that oven within 20 minutes of that first push and it’s been a hell of an adventure ever since! </em></div>
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<em>I remember my first teacher conference at preschool when you were two years old, Ms. Kitty a 50 year veteran, told me “He’s such a leader, he will do great things, but right now, I need him to follow me and understand I am the leader”, I heard the same statement from many teachers over the years, all followed by how incredible brilliant you are, and that you will do great things in life. You’re smart, witty, handsome, and full of untapped potential, someday I hope you see that too.</em></div>
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<em>In 16 years I have learned so much from you and about you. I know that there is always a Plan B, C, even Z and sometimes, we start over with a 1, 2 or 3. There is always another path, even if it's the road less traveled. Just because it’s what everyone else is doing, doesn’t make it right for you. I’m learning that you should take the path in which your vision allows you to see what you do have, instead of what we wished you had. Leave that other path unexplored. Don’t give it one more second of your precious time or energy. It’s not an easy lesson to learn, but we grow most from our challenges and roadblocks. So we now learn to embrace it and lean in for the ride.</em></div>
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<em>I’ve learned that you can’t force a square peg in a round hole or vice versa no matter how hard you try. I’ve learned that there is no such thing as “normal” and why should there be, we are all unique and shouldn’t be compared to what we think “normal” looks like, because honestly who knows what that is! I’ve learned that sometimes, you just have to step back and take it one day at a time, one hour at a time, and one minute at a time. I have learned that not everyone will understand or approve of the choices we make, and the things we do, and that’s ok, they don’t have to. I’ve learned that you’re going to trip and fall occasionally, but that we just dust ourselves off and stand again. Maybe that internal compass will malfunction and you’ll lose your way, but we just look for another path to take as we dust ourselves off and stand again.</em></div>
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<em>One day I hope that you will see you’ve got places to go, things to do, lives to touch, miracles to make. I promise you’ll see things differently someday, everything will be brighter, better, full of options that you hadn’t noticed before and when you do, just know that we will still be standing by your side, cheering you on. In the end I know you will do great things, they will be on your own terms as with everything you do in life.</em></div>
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<em>I hope someday you will look back and remember all these lessons that you have taught me and know that it’s a miracle…………. you survived your childhood without me stringing you up by your toes!</em></div>
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<em>Happy 16th Birthday to my little Prince Charming ~</em></div>
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Pepperhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15820871786854131190noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-673996306551660371.post-44221853736883626652016-08-19T16:37:00.000-04:002016-08-19T16:37:38.258-04:00Now What? I'm waiting for my big break in life, you know where that rainbow in the sky will shine down on me, the birds will chirp (<em>far away from me because I actually hate birds. That whole flying thing they do ... really creeps me out</em>) the squirrels will break out onto a song and dance and all will be right in the world. Because at some point its going to click with Prince Charming.......right? I mean come on - seriously- it has to?? Apparently I am still waiting for that big break ....... the vet tech program was not it. We lasted 6 whole days in class, yes as in 1,2,3,4,5, and 6 - where he never spoke to the teacher, maybe mumbled a few words here and there, but I doubt she even heard them. I had high hopes that his love of animals would outweigh his anxiety, sadly it did not. And its okay, I'm trying to be patient and learn more about anxiety, and understand. I think it sucks-ass royally, but I know its real. Once the teacher started moving them into groups, to work together, to develop presentations to present to the class it was all down hill from there. I guess its better to know now, before we ended up with a pet goat or something n my backyard! <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVqz__NFR-_AQqIAjeVKKcQOs901L5IS16evtb0kC5tWuLJi2htz-wEK-9Fz1PUKO7K-lNClrRMSsBIbJQ_uHc1if0nPq93NOoAWfj1wuN8Wp_V3qALIvLedmyNBmASfxwvsa6h9aGys4/s1600/13939327_10154330146384034_1821699192071952408_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="160" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVqz__NFR-_AQqIAjeVKKcQOs901L5IS16evtb0kC5tWuLJi2htz-wEK-9Fz1PUKO7K-lNClrRMSsBIbJQ_uHc1if0nPq93NOoAWfj1wuN8Wp_V3qALIvLedmyNBmASfxwvsa6h9aGys4/s320/13939327_10154330146384034_1821699192071952408_n.jpg" width="320" /></a>So what's next ? Yep that's what I keep asking myself! I wish I had an answer for myself but oddly I am quiet! I'd like to think I am reflecting on things, but nope I'm not, I just keep having my own pity party in my head and repeating "WTF? WTF? WTF? " I'm going to try to homeschool, and hope to hell I can teach him something other then "Pepper-isms"! I haven't yet figured out when we actually do this "homeschool" thing, since I have this J-O-B thing I go to.......but we'll figure it out! <br />
Pepperhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15820871786854131190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-673996306551660371.post-38845006611843775182016-08-04T09:00:00.001-04:002016-08-04T09:00:55.390-04:00Perfect Parent ....Epic Fail <br />
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Have you ever filled out a job application and lied? You
know maybe fudged a tad on years or level of experience? Yes, that’s what I
feel like I have done, I have lied on my application for parenting, being
pregnant for 9 months, reading mounds of parenting books, life experience does
NOT qualify you as a good parent, or even capable parent. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinLSRArVSSRNXLBJuwKLtjaRdv5E8DuMh9ym2qgySC4mRMQo_h4Hw3dg-tIcLEMIIiKd1eQjnmDd6SX1Ul7EnKdRpUsk3BAUbaAJDF3tiFhUSX-GqoKd0K9TE7pPCkR60cqjHOHGAbEqA/s1600/IMG_9821.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinLSRArVSSRNXLBJuwKLtjaRdv5E8DuMh9ym2qgySC4mRMQo_h4Hw3dg-tIcLEMIIiKd1eQjnmDd6SX1Ul7EnKdRpUsk3BAUbaAJDF3tiFhUSX-GqoKd0K9TE7pPCkR60cqjHOHGAbEqA/s320/IMG_9821.JPG" width="316" /></a><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"></span> </div>
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">You
have all these set goals and expectations in your head and you know you’ll do
great, then they hand you that bundle of joy and you’re like now what the hell
do I do now? All that planning and reading, and observing what others do (<i>that
you secretly judge in your head and say you won’t do</i>) …………yet there you are
doing those same things you vowed never to do! I have no doubt I was a perfect
parent…..<em>right up until that moment they handed me that bundle of
joy</em>! If I ever secretly judge you ..... I'm sorry, I'm an asshole , and
have no clue what I'm doing.....even now. </span><br />
</div>
<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Fast
forward 15 years and I’m still thinking WTF Every. Single. Day.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Maybe
someone should come and fire me! I am clearly not qualified to do this
parenting gig. Maybe I spent to much time with my head in the glitter, <a href="http://pepsbubble.blogspot.com/2015/05/im-over-here-with-unicorns.html" target="_blank">hangingout with the unicorns</a>, but I'm back to square one. I'm back to running in a
dark tunnel searching for the light and the way out. The Prince is back to not
leaving the house, sleeping all day up all night, and back to school refusal ,
which BTW starts in 6 days!!! </span><br />
<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Hubster
made a comment the other day and said "<em>where did we go wrong</em>"? That
question has replayed over and over in my head for years,....,<em>what could I
have done differently</em>? What did I do wrong, but then I thought about it, let
the words roll through my head and thought .....what if it wasn't something we
did? What if it's just the way he is wired? Just because he doesn't fit into
that profile of a " typical, normal, teenager" .....why does it mean
he's wrong? Why does that have to be something that I did wrong? Why am I upset
he just wants to stay home and read, or play games on his computer. When there
are kids his age or younger, that are in trouble with the law, shooting each
other and doing horrible things, and I'm worried because he .......he what?
What's to be left alone so he can read? We worry he wont have a childhood or memories like we did back in the day, but then again we live in a different world today. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Over
the last few years, I've waved my white flag, I've surrender over and over, and
just tried to figure out WTF I am doing, what I'm going to do next, and how I
am going to make it work. Well I'm doing it again. I'm waving the white flag,
I've enrolled him (<em><a href="http://pepsbubble.blogspot.com/2015/04/my-square-peg.html" target="_blank">yes again</a>)</em> in homeschool, signed him up for a vet tech
program, and I'm just winging it at this point and I have no FRIGGEN idea if
this will work or not, but I have to try. </span><br />
Who knows maybe this will be our next great adventure........... or maybe it will be the reason the Prince becomes that smell in the back yard or the reason I wear prison orange. But I have binged watched all 4 seasons of "Orange is the new Black" so I got this - prison thing covered. I'm sure its just like TV. If anything it will give me a reason to write more often! <br />
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Pepperhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15820871786854131190noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-673996306551660371.post-57153900902643124152016-05-03T16:12:00.000-04:002016-05-03T16:12:32.828-04:00Hoarders Buried by Pigs, Dust and Fur How the hell is it May? No wonder I had someone call and check on me yesterday saying I had not posted an update in awhile....a very long while! I guess that saying is right on the money, the older you get (still only 29) the faster time goes! <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg91ITGPCr60KYVEAFXLUJ7uXS-KZgfJhZXzzg-YPk8KsMTPbi_VvRXqyf9wCXYRI5AYQk9CNJ2miwdo88NA7i4Mb64qvoeG_kxOUJKD6xuy4YSiQ5XAohsxWoLrTWUgkZP9lsbPQK-SUg/s1600/13043255_10154026279439034_8354354023849598301_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg91ITGPCr60KYVEAFXLUJ7uXS-KZgfJhZXzzg-YPk8KsMTPbi_VvRXqyf9wCXYRI5AYQk9CNJ2miwdo88NA7i4Mb64qvoeG_kxOUJKD6xuy4YSiQ5XAohsxWoLrTWUgkZP9lsbPQK-SUg/s320/13043255_10154026279439034_8354354023849598301_n.jpg" width="308" /></a><br />
Let's see ......the Prince continues to get out of the car at school (when he's not sick), still hates it, still thinks homeschooling is the answer, isn't making stellar grades, but according to my teacher conference last week, he will be passing 9th grade ....just like 8th grade, his test scores are too high to hold him back, and if you add up all his grades for the semesters they equal a passing grade......by the skin of his teeth. I guess I thought that at some point something would click ...he'd get it, it hasn't happened yet, but I am sure at some point in my life time it will ........ I mean he cant live at home forever can he? I don't have a basement for him to move in to!! I'm understanding more and more every day WHY animals eat their young (<em>and mates too</em>)! <br />
<br />
We finally bought our house we've been in the past 5 years, and now the projects begin!! We have ripped out the tile floors, and carpet and are having new wood plank tile floors installed! They look awesome!! <br />
<br />
Some things I have learned in this adventure ....... I have to much shit, everything is dusty, and again way to much shit! I feel like I could be trying out for the show "Hoarder's Buried Alive" except my episode would feature "<em>Hoarders Buried by Pigs, Dust and Fur</em>". <br />
<br />
The 1st night of our Hoarders adventure I went to take the fur kids for a walk ...here's how that convo went .....<br />
ME: "Hey where did you put the leashes last night?" <br />
HUBS: " In the back room" <br />
<br />
So you see this pink arrow below ..... yeah that's where I found the leashes. On a side note I have managed to climb the clutter mountain to climb through the kitchen window to grab a pair of scissors and I even witnessed the hubster do it to grab the bread!! Had I been able to find my phone I would have captured that moment in time for sure!! <br />
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You don't realize how much stuff you have until you pile it in one room - and that's not even the WHOLE House - just what we are tiling!!! So my living room, dining room, kitchen, hallway, foyer and hall closet are all crammed in my craft room, that room is next but hubster is gonna make a new-craft-tastic desk and bar! Cant wait til it's all done!! For now its a hot dusty mess!! The areas I am confined to I have been cleaning out and purging!! Not enough to make it look like I have done anything ...... so I better keep going! One good thing being confined to a space, is that I have made 2 diaper cakes, 8 teacher gifts, baby shower favors and I'm sure I could do more if I could find all my stuff !!<br />
Pepperhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15820871786854131190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-673996306551660371.post-30140788121352763692015-12-17T11:50:00.000-05:002015-12-17T11:50:51.555-05:00All Wrapped Up <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOacQa15h1WbpkWV_tLtqdV1E6E3w6DfSHH28u79K0akh5BZBDeL2MNQDGLkApVtL5frUb1D1-Q9g4uQR35OFUKHAR1L3n40GZlP6THLJExpufSxqd9gh5wY41Dd3CPzS-70yxeB9o3Mo/s1600/grinch.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="130" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOacQa15h1WbpkWV_tLtqdV1E6E3w6DfSHH28u79K0akh5BZBDeL2MNQDGLkApVtL5frUb1D1-Q9g4uQR35OFUKHAR1L3n40GZlP6THLJExpufSxqd9gh5wY41Dd3CPzS-70yxeB9o3Mo/s200/grinch.jpg" width="200" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5i3J8TmdB1yuLGkFK1Pyew6hWS_CzkKj-F7vwS9MunoNdIfAIBw1A3Wh1n8O_mIodeRSjGQPRqqwmiVcL3Qy9xPWLSy9Cndcku0CrNCioGfztMfk3i8LepK5A9-Rs9PGNERTCxRGxsFk/s1600/turkey.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="172" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5i3J8TmdB1yuLGkFK1Pyew6hWS_CzkKj-F7vwS9MunoNdIfAIBw1A3Wh1n8O_mIodeRSjGQPRqqwmiVcL3Qy9xPWLSy9Cndcku0CrNCioGfztMfk3i8LepK5A9-Rs9PGNERTCxRGxsFk/s200/turkey.jpg" width="200" /></a><span style="font-family: "calibri";">EEEK! Can you believe that Christmas is in 8 days??? My
craft-tastic desk has been disheveled for well over 2 months (<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">ok ……..ok ….if you ask the hubster It’s been
this way from the day he built it</i>) and I think I have burned all my
fingertips off in the process!! But I added 6 new holiday candy dishes this
year with all the ideas swirling around in my head, it could have been more (<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">but the hubs would probably have divorced me
so I better not push my luck</i>)!! Ha - it’s been fun! Pretty sure at some
point the hubster will either change the locks or go on strike from being my
master spray painter!! Maybe…………….just maybe he will re-instate my spray
painting privileges……..but I am pretty sure that I have a better chance of pigs
flying before that ever happens! I don’t know something about, getting spray paint
on the car, garbage can, the house, the dog ….the ………..well everything other
than what I am actually spraying! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";"><o:p></o:p></span> </div>
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">As for the Prince, I am over the moon with the progress he
has made!! These past few months have been amazing, in watching him grow and
overcome some of his issues. I had my first teacher conference this week, it’s
the same ol’ same ol’ on the comments from the teachers, he does GREAT work …..WHEN
you can GET him to do it and turn it in! Yep…………..I’ve heard it all before! Over
the past few months, he has traveled out of his comfort zone more and more, it
makes me so proud. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";">The Prince and I did some Black Friday Shopping, we left the
house at 12:30am and retuned at 3:30am. We had a blast, went to a few stores,
he may or may not have whacked an old <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>lady in the back of the head with a comforter
set on accident, which usually would have derailed our day - but he just moved right
past it, thankfully so did the lady!!!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The Prince wanted to make sure that anytime I am out at that hour, I
needed to make sure he was with me……. For my own protection…..from all the
hoodlums out at that hour. I assured him that this was not an everyday thing
that stores were open all hours of the night and neither were all these people!
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";">“S” his new friend, that’s just like him, has been a God
send for us all!! They went to Orlando last month for the day to Mega Com, with
good ol’ Uncle B, he is convinced they communicate telepathically!! And then
the hubster had to travel over and pick them up that evening, he also confirmed
it was the “quietest car ride ever”! So maybe that’s the reason the Prince had
2200 text messages last month, or at least 2197 of those were to her, the rest
could have been to me and the hubster! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";">“S” has had tough times in her young life but she has
overcome so many obstacles and she is an amazing young girl and a great friend
to the Prince! So sweet, and caring and thinks that she is at that school just
so she can help the Prince overcome some of his anxiety’s and issues! “S” even convinced
him he needed to get a haircut ………. WTH?? Really?? Can she come over and tell
you to also clean your room, do your homework and the other million things I
ask him to do? Now don’t go all crazy thinking you could actually TELL he got a
haircut ……but he did get a trim ……… a very small trim, but its baby steps!! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";">So this year as we are thinking about Christmas (did I
mention it’s in 8 days) the Prince told us he wanted to get “S” a computer,
that’s all she wants for Christmas and that’s what I want to get for her. Over
and over again this has been his plea that this is what HE wants for Christmas,
is to be able to get this for her. She has had tough times, and this is all she
wanted and he told her that’s what he was getting her. WHAT??? I was flabbergasted
that a 14 year old would even think to say something like this, much less
promise someone this is what he was going to get her, but yep …. That’s my gem ….and
that’s what he did! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";">We’ve had long talks about how things are, and how much
money that would cost and why we couldn’t possibly do that. But the Prince was persistent
and told us this would be HIS Christmas present, that we wouldn’t need to get
him anything, not one single thing, this is what he wanted and it’s the only
thing he wanted. We explained that “S” wouldn’t be able to get him a present like
this is return, and he replied “ I already have a computer, I don’t want
anything but to get her one of her own, she’s my friend and she deserves it”. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";">Taking a step back, looking at the big picture and seeing
what a positive effect she has made in his progress, I would almost op to buy
her a friggen brand new car …..<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">if I had unlimited
funds of course</i>!!! So last weekend the most amazing thing happened, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Mama Pepper</i> called to say that <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Pop Pop Pepper</i> wanted to take the Prince
and go pick out a computer for him to give to “S” for her Christmas present! The
Prince of course would have picked out a $10,000 top of the line laptop with
all the bells and whistles, but he was very happy with the laptop that they
picked out for her! He is over the moon to be able to do this, and I am so
proud at how mature he is being! I mean really if you think stop and think
about it …….I don’t know many grown ass adults that would give up getting a
present <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>just so their friend could get
something they really wanted. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";">So while the Prince is super excited and has his wrapping
paper all picked out, from our Black Friday shopping trip ( I couldn’t figure
out why he picked out wrapping paper with owls on it……….and then told me I wasn’t
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>allowed to wrap anything with it, that
he needed it ……..….humm I know now that our little friend likes “owls” ) </span><span style="font-family: "wingdings"; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-char-type: symbol; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-char-type: symbol; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;">J</span></span><span style="font-family: "calibri";"> It should be interesting
to see how this gift giving goes, considering he bought her an anima hairclip
in September for her birthday …………and the Prince still has it in his binder and
now uses it for decoration!! Last week at the craft fair, he picked out an owl
bookmark – (<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">that’s when I put two and two
together about the owl wrapping paper</i>) but at the Christmas show last week
he had it in his pocket, they sat and next to each other texting …… and I
nudged him about the bookmark …..he just sat there ……….and I did what any
mother would do …….whipped it outta his pocket with a big grin on my face
handed it to “S” and said ….”<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Here you go
honey, we saw this at the craft fair and thought of you</i>”!!! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDvn13MuRICZtvFIE7af2cuwN-1IiNC9-VtP5D0X6FYh4uMelxB7xAhgm34bYHtmW8k-dqHPH-0iUZ5N6HcNXxlGaUrAkoLtdgZSeY6hn_-oKOcMu1Krmfs89z3yBMS5b5Q1CDDYOjlSw/s1600/635591945768186077-2031313834_im-not-like-ih5ms5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="160" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDvn13MuRICZtvFIE7af2cuwN-1IiNC9-VtP5D0X6FYh4uMelxB7xAhgm34bYHtmW8k-dqHPH-0iUZ5N6HcNXxlGaUrAkoLtdgZSeY6hn_-oKOcMu1Krmfs89z3yBMS5b5Q1CDDYOjlSw/s200/635591945768186077-2031313834_im-not-like-ih5ms5.jpg" width="200" /></a><span style="font-family: "calibri";">Did the Prince turn 42 shades of red and give me a wide eye
roll …you bet our sweet- ass he did!! But that’s what moms do! And apparently
from my conversations with the Prince I am “<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">annoying”,
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“ he can’t believe that we could be
related” “ he just doesn’t have the energy to DEAL with my annoying-ness <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>in the mornings because he is to tired in the
mornings</i>” so I’d say ….I am right on track! Pretty sure my <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Mother of the Year Award</i> is on it’s way!
And for that matter so is my <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Wife of the
Year Award</i> as I sat through a Christmas Musical last night …….. (<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">if you know me …you know I am not a fan of Christmas
Music ….its okay for an 30 minutes …. Maybe <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>… on Christmas morning</i>….) and tonight’s
date night is the prescreening of Star Wars......<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";">I look forward to the New Year and what new things it will
bring both big and small milestones and new adventures for me, the Prince and
the Hubster! Bring it on ~ We’ve got this 2016! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Pepperhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15820871786854131190noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-673996306551660371.post-7297968489383546572015-10-04T22:57:00.000-04:002015-10-04T22:57:14.390-04:00Shouting from the rooftops Its October already??? How can that be?? I've been asked a lot "<em>How is the Prince doing? You haven't written anything lately ...</em>." (I'm just amazed people read my nonsense) I should be shouting from the roof top .............but I'm afraid of heights! I am so happy and so proud to say that the Prince is still going strong and doing great! I think it helps that he may be sweet on a girl at school, according to him, <em>"She is just like me! She has social anxiety, she likes anima, she loves animals and doesn't like people</em>" - yep that's sounds just like him! He is excited to go to school because he has her in his 1st class and sits with her at lunch (in a classroom .....far, far, far away from people), he is excited at the end of the day when he gets in the car to tell the hubs how his day went. <br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYkG32e_rWDM8fTVS8MrhvLyV5-eBgIFXFXneTIPOZ7kOuV5QVxC8DbnPtFkOtc-djWe7YUBXeYBHTdjfIyFxebfNLRlHyDQFAHcfDAeU4J9g7CY1RSmk1b-_fcC6BL_rq3CV89HzMbHc/s1600/1b4a1aff327bf56601db7290184b4823.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="223" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYkG32e_rWDM8fTVS8MrhvLyV5-eBgIFXFXneTIPOZ7kOuV5QVxC8DbnPtFkOtc-djWe7YUBXeYBHTdjfIyFxebfNLRlHyDQFAHcfDAeU4J9g7CY1RSmk1b-_fcC6BL_rq3CV89HzMbHc/s320/1b4a1aff327bf56601db7290184b4823.jpg" width="320" /></a>Now with that all being said.........he is still an asshat in the mornings, because he is up half the night and still doesn't have his sleep in a normal pattern.......and I'm not sure he ever will. Thankfully he showers at night now- so its once less issue in the morning to deal with. He has earned his bedroom door back after losing it for nearly a year, now my arguing consists of "Why he is always shutting his door". So if that's my biggest concern right now,....I'm okay with that! But I will still nag him for that .... its my job....to be annoying and to nag .... pretty sure I had to sign a contract to be a mom!!<br />
<br />
At the open house at school, all the teachers had great things to say (<em>and most of them were not saying them because it was their job they seemed to truly mean it </em>). The common theme with the teachers were "WOW - he is so smart, the way he thinks and puts stuff together is amazing and he does awesome work ..... WHEN you can GET him TO do the work .....". Yep we all knew that was coming, when he likes a class, a teacher he does fantastic ....however when there is no interest ... well then their is no effort put into it. The Prince tested the highest in the entire school for SRI testing (language arts and reading comprehension) they told him the highest grade you can get on that test is 1330 .....he tested at 1325 .....which is basically an above average 12th grade level ............yet he has an "F" in language arts ......because he doesn't like the teacher or the class (which according to him is full of thugs) .... go figure???<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh08BfPXO8AIm4ZyTpE77mnsBdbbhS2oNt13hfGTJYf-jAcvhwMbkBeoizD2oFOtt0PIc5uX1Wxj3Hde4hZosmrcV_ouKua19UkooTBUjb7FloTt4B804-PTKjNxehFPjt9NfPVk1m3BB4/s1600/sarcasm-just-one-of-the-many-services-i-offer-sarcasm-quote.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh08BfPXO8AIm4ZyTpE77mnsBdbbhS2oNt13hfGTJYf-jAcvhwMbkBeoizD2oFOtt0PIc5uX1Wxj3Hde4hZosmrcV_ouKua19UkooTBUjb7FloTt4B804-PTKjNxehFPjt9NfPVk1m3BB4/s200/sarcasm-just-one-of-the-many-services-i-offer-sarcasm-quote.png" width="200" /></a>For now I'm not stressing as much as I should be about grades, because its been along time coming that things have been calm, that he has been happy and my little world is at peace. I haven't had leaky eyes in weeks, I don't stress like I did when it was time to go to school, to come home from work, or to just breathe. I'm enjoying his sarcastic, funny, witty self more and more everyday At least we know he gets its honestly .......from his dad..........not me ....no ... not me ......sarcasm comes from the hubster. He'll get it, he's to smart not to get it, I hope that he pulls it together soon, I kinda made a promise that if he made straight "A"'s all year I'd buy him a super computer .....I'd give him a $5000 budget .....and if he graduates with straight "A"'s I'd take him to Japan...his reply was "WOW dad, look mom is throwing money at me left and right" LOL . So far I'm not going to be getting him a super computer at the end of this year, but you never know - it could happen! <br />
<br />
It's been along time since my mind has been clear enough for my creative spark to return. My wheels are turning and my glue sticks are rapidly depleting, my craft table is a hot mess as I am back crafting!!! I actually had someone at work say to me the other day "<em>I'm so glad your son is doing well, its amazing to see the difference in you and your spark has finally returned"</em> and here I thought I had it all together at work .....for the most part that is. I know we still have along way to go, but everyday I feel like I am a bit closer to the end of the tunnel, and everyday the light seems a bit brighter. <br />
<br />
Pepperhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15820871786854131190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-673996306551660371.post-37347418261664419392015-08-31T22:45:00.001-04:002015-08-31T22:45:23.659-04:00Following The Rainbow Home <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhK1fch0LWbJKK0faSM_nwTbvlKWAYlT-3EUn8uRMxg1vt1LWcyNud_Ptx9sN3hr0rxEu5GFBf-Qgot5tiHIbBC09jbBODl8Jgsk5lnQU6wwChNNuI9u2SWu58Ix8i39ACwDNIDL5I7ctw/s1600/il_570xN_303180288.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhK1fch0LWbJKK0faSM_nwTbvlKWAYlT-3EUn8uRMxg1vt1LWcyNud_Ptx9sN3hr0rxEu5GFBf-Qgot5tiHIbBC09jbBODl8Jgsk5lnQU6wwChNNuI9u2SWu58Ix8i39ACwDNIDL5I7ctw/s320/il_570xN_303180288.jpg" width="278" /></a>Its been a long time since I actually prayed, I mean dug deep into my soul and reached out for that guidance and gave it my all to get a connection to the big guy in the sky. Its sad but true, I stopped praying when our prayers weren't answered and we lost both <a href="http://pepsbubble.blogspot.com/2013/03/celebrating-life.html" target="_blank">Aunt Doll</a> and<a href="http://pepsbubble.blogspot.com/2013/05/papa-life-of-party.html" target="_blank"> Papa</a> within 2 months of each other. Maybe I was holding a grudge for taking them so close together, that I just stopped making that call. Whenever I have lost a loved one, I have always seen a rainbow, within minutes of receiving word that they had left this earth, I would look up and there would be that rainbow. That rainbow that gave my heart a flutter and for a moment the sadness would disappear, because that was their calling card to me, to say its okay. <br />
<br />
Over the past few weeks I have seen many rainbows, maybe its from the countless days of rain we have experienced, or maybe its my guardian angels on the other side, trying to show me the way. Its been an exhausting summer, the mornings were long and rough with our daily trips to the <a href="http://pepsbubble.blogspot.com/2015/08/learning-2-step.html" target="_blank">therapy center</a>, but I can honestly say that it was worth every leaky eye moment and countless F-bombs I had to text to get where we are today! The change has been amazing, I am in awe everyday seeing more and more progress and even family and friends who didn't realize it was as bad as it was, now finally see the light because they have seen such a drastic change as well. <br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh27GPr2dOQM1_nRr0Vb8aWJSy-lAZzPl4LUMNfjtu2voJk2QsMyUqF5-ew2fGbYL1rGH7DlHlcHm63GV5MytCUM3wSA0FzS2RBPMfDLR8sjMM1O6-_PkNHeM72eYRPvcklKW9oAAUUtx8/s1600/Funny-Quotes-About-Life-And-Love-And-Happiness-10.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="254" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh27GPr2dOQM1_nRr0Vb8aWJSy-lAZzPl4LUMNfjtu2voJk2QsMyUqF5-ew2fGbYL1rGH7DlHlcHm63GV5MytCUM3wSA0FzS2RBPMfDLR8sjMM1O6-_PkNHeM72eYRPvcklKW9oAAUUtx8/s320/Funny-Quotes-About-Life-And-Love-And-Happiness-10.jpg" width="320" /></a>Last Monday, was the first day of school, the Prince was very nervous, especially Sunday night, you could see the anxiety building throughout the weekend, but by Sunday I thought he was going to explode. This isn't your typical "1st day jitters" this was a " holy shit I am going back to school, I cant do it mountain of anxiety" . I'm not sure I slept Sunday nor did the Prince, once my alarm went off I sat up on the side of my bed and noticed there was a rainbow, shining off the sliding glass doors from the light in the bathroom, it made my heart flutter. Sitting on the edge of the bed for the first time in a long time .....I prayed .........I prayed for the Prince to make it through the day, to make this be it, make this be the right path for him to follow, to make all that we went through worth it, I prayed for light to lead me in that dark tunnel we had been traveling, I prayed for peace and happiness in my heart, because I don't know what else I can do. <br />
<br />
I was amazed at how great he went off to school, how he got out of the car even thou he was so nervous, he was doing it, I felt so relieved as I pulled away from the school leaving him. I finally felt at peace ...............until 12 minutes later and as I pulled into work my cell phone started ringing and it was the Prince............sobbing so hard that a teacher had to get on the line with me. He was having a major anxiety, panic attack. I whipped my car around and 12 minutes later I was there at the school ..... only 24 minutes into the new school year ............thinking to myself ...........obviously my connection to the big blue sky was disconnected or maybe I got a busy signal ..... because this wasn't what we had discussed this morning!!! I took PC outside and let him sit in the car, I tried talking to him, reasoning with him that he's got this, he can do this, and when he was ready, we would try, try again. In the meanwhile I was back at sending my F**K, F**K, F**K text to my mini support group <em>aka girlfriends</em>! While I was engrossed in my own pity party of "OMG's this cant be happening, what am I going to do", I realized that the car door opened and PC was standing outside of my car ready to try it again....... 48 minutes into the school year ....here we go again. <br />
<br />
I anxiously awaited for the hubster and the Prince to call with how wonderful school was, sadly I didn't get that call, instead I got the call how much he hated it and wasn't going back....to many "thugs" and disruptive kids .......SHIT ,,,, there go my leaky eyes.... again........will this ever end??? When I got home I laid with the Prince and he told me about his day ... ... It wasn't so bad ...... and he had some very interesting stories to tell.......... <br />
<br />
Day 1 - we learned that one of the teachers had 14 felonies by the time they were 12 ... and taught in the prison system ... I thought the moral of the story was " They turned their life around ... and now are helping others". Apparently the moral of the story was "They aren't afraid of the thugs" <br />
<br />
Day 2 - the morning had a rough start - Again I anxiously awaited for the after school call and held my breathe to hear how it went .....and he had a good day ... WHAT??? Seriously??? Are you kidding?? It was good?? And he thinks he will like it .... well .....he will like it better when the thugs are gone.... <br />
<br />
Day 3 - Stomach bug - for all those nah sayers ..... it was real ... the smell out of that bathroom could kill someone ......<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEho8smtFFKyqUXldr6bTtFco77zNVv8ZxV0c_wsDvdZrWmOmzQyL2R5lXbR3C9Gi5mfFyjXfUCWQGtHaoNPJ6gjYMsU4N78PSZfdZ1ZcYUBWiXTf2eLPw_aPMKV7M41rHAa-CEv7il0Ve0/s1600/10488290_10152753616784034_1577194753454829927_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEho8smtFFKyqUXldr6bTtFco77zNVv8ZxV0c_wsDvdZrWmOmzQyL2R5lXbR3C9Gi5mfFyjXfUCWQGtHaoNPJ6gjYMsU4N78PSZfdZ1ZcYUBWiXTf2eLPw_aPMKV7M41rHAa-CEv7il0Ve0/s320/10488290_10152753616784034_1577194753454829927_n.jpg" width="320" /></a>Day 4 - Had a good day ...OMG - this melts my heart.......he also met another anti-social girl ...<br />
and he decided that one of the teachers hair reminds him of his stuffed pillow when all the stuffing came out of it ... ummm yeah I don't know WTH it means....but it was a good day ... so I will take it <br />
<br />
Day 5 - It was another good day - We made it an entire week (minus one day) - and he is willing to return on Monday!!! OMG - that's fabulous!!! <br />
<br />
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<br />
As I drove home Friday night, there is was......right in front of me.......the biggest brightest rainbow I have ever seen, leading me home. And once again I felt that flutter in my heart and I knew it was my army of guardian angles telling me that it will be okay, we've got this! <br />
<br />
Now if we can just master getting our homework done...................<br />
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<br />Pepperhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15820871786854131190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-673996306551660371.post-62098500894829090662015-08-07T18:25:00.003-04:002015-08-07T18:25:51.530-04:00Learning the 2 Step <br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Lately I feel like I am practicing my dance moves, two steps
forward, two steps back ,cha cha cha …. But <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>inquiring minds want to know …..Is it working?
And how is the Prince doing in the intensive therapy program? <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As to be expected he hates it, thinks it’s
stupid, and doesn’t know why he needs to be there, some days are good, some
days are bad, some days are better than the day before. It has been a long,
exhausting 4 weeks and 18 days, with many days of leaky eyes (some days his eyes
leak …some days my eyes leak) ……... BUT, I think we are making some progress....Of
course some days we make way more progress than other days!! But I guess
progress is progress. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhg2DRDD2vKFAKXsXjfUQwgDKvJUuYnPZeTL3GBk87KDLsuG3If82zIDiyTO4tXDIk5Pz2bqn50mjlcryBXfMDivsn7A8Y8RC8KgVqp4C3V_dNjXLIG0OnGxVPvhOOhMyi-jWuHjBPAoGo/s1600/IMG_0413.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhg2DRDD2vKFAKXsXjfUQwgDKvJUuYnPZeTL3GBk87KDLsuG3If82zIDiyTO4tXDIk5Pz2bqn50mjlcryBXfMDivsn7A8Y8RC8KgVqp4C3V_dNjXLIG0OnGxVPvhOOhMyi-jWuHjBPAoGo/s320/IMG_0413.JPG" width="320" /></a>I'm ever so thankful for my amazing support system of friends and family, I'm thankful I have friends that I can just text the F-Bomb to 100 times if I need to, because some days you just gotta scream or text) F**K , F**K , F**K !!! Just to feel better and carry on!! Well and I'm pretty sure they would frown on me screaming it there at the center!! And now I have a gift fairy at work, who drops little fun goodies off for me .... it puts a smile on my face, especially when its been a leaky eye day!! So thank you all for the love and the support ~ <br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I’ve learned a lot of things in the past 4 weeks, and I know
that my situation could be so much worse. Everyone’s struggle is different and unique.
All the kids at the center are there for very different reasons and everyone’s
OCD’s, Phobias and Anxieties are different. I’ve watched the past 4 weeks, as some of
the kids have phased out of the program and got to return home, many of the
families are from out of state, so I am thankful that I am simply across the
bridge!!! And I am hopeful that we too will phase out sooner than later. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I’ve spent a lot of time in the lobby, mainly because the
first 2 weeks, <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>the Prince and I would argue
the WHY’s he needed to be here and do these things, so I would need to just
walk away and let the therapist work with him without me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I spent many times just observing in fascination,
some of these other kids, watching what they had to do and spoke to their
parents, I want to know about the issues they have, I almost crave the
conversation, so I didn’t feel so alone and isolated. But as I said all issues
are very different. </span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Some of the kids we have encountered have been <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Shower Girl” she took 3 hour long showers,
with the water running ……she would first CLEAN the entire shower, scrub every
inch of it, take apart the drain and shower head <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">I don’t
think I’ve ever done that ever</i>) after the shower was clean she would get
in, still water running, have to scrub ever kook and cranny<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> </i>plus her very long rainbow colored hair, then she would redo the
ritual of cleaning the shower again… yes with water still running for 3 hours!!
After she was out of the shower she had about 10 other rituals that she had to
do between 500 to 1000 times EACH!! Her mother told me it literally took her
almost 5 hours to get ready to go anywhere!!! <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Her last day after 10 weeks she took a 16
minute shower!! She also could not ride in the car without the window cracked because
she had to continually push the germs out the car window…….arms failing about especially
when her mother sneezed or coughed! The therapist made them sit in the car with
the windows rolled up, so that the germs couldn’t escape ….while the mother
coughed and coughed…and not all while NOT covering her mouth. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">“Contamination Boy” he won’t touch anything ……..and hadn’t left
the house in over 2 years. Simple things like the door knob, picking something
up from the floors, walking by people, even people breathing the same air as
he, would cause him to hold his breath until he passed out most times so that
he didn’t get the contaminated germs. One of the things he was required to do ……..to
help get him over his fear of contamination and germs… was stick his hand in
the toilet water (several times) and NOT wash it (ewww) and then shake someone else’s
hand …… needless to say …. I was sitting on my hands in the lobby that day, not
making eye contact because I did NOT want to be that lucky someone to shake his
hand!! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Another “Contamination Boy 2” argued the facts about cleanliness
for over 45 minutes refusing to participate and why he would NOT sit on the
hardwood floor, with the therapist who was sitting there on her knees with
palms planted firmly in contact with the floor, then she put her face down on
the floor and when she stuck her tongue out to lick the floor, I think he almost
past out from that exposure. I am certain that my eyes grew wide just watching!
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I sit in fascination
watching these events take place, I think that some of these methods are CRAZY .........
but fast forward 5 days later I walked into the center with “Contamination Boy
2” actually sitting on the lobby floor, with his hands palms down and looking
at his parents and the therapist and instead of arguing, he smiled and said “What’s
next- that was easy”. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Next up was to
catch a cockroach, I didn’t stay for that adventure as they headed to the
stairwell on their search for a giant cockroach (ewwww). <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">“Hair Eater” he pulls out his hair (eyebrows, eye lashes,
head, arms etc.), and eat it, but he also pulled out his mother’s hair (or
maybe cut it – I don’t know) while she slept to eat it! His mother had to cut off
her hair off to avoid the situation. He also has issues with personal space,
rolling chairs and calling mom “Chubby” and squeezing her thighs…. Well among other
things. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">“The World’s a Virus Boy” from what I can tell he thinks he
will catch “Flesh eating bacteria virus” from basically doing or touching
anything … he has only been there a few days, today the same therapist that was
licking the lobby floor, told him that he probably already had it and he would
probably die by Monday ……he laughed and said “I know, I know, but it could
happen” and then he moved on to his other exposures for the day. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">To watch these kids, and see the struggles that the kids and
parents have, it’s been an eye opening experience. I watch with fasciation as
one by one, these strange treatment methods have these kids come out of there
comfort zone and face their fears. As for Prince Charming …. Some days he works
on it, other days he refuses totally, but once he realizes that I’m not giving
up and we aren’t leaving until he does his “exposures” then he eventually will get
started. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Yes its true some days (ok ….most days) <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I want to just toss my hands in the air and
yell “ F**K it” <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>~ runaway from reality, take a break and toss in the towel
and say your right, you don’t need to be here ~ I’m done~ but then there are
days like today, when he did it , he did all of his extreme exposures that make
his skin crawl, and put him so far out of his comfort zone like actually walking
up to people and speaking to them, while looking at them, playing a game with
them and best of all … .doing it all with his hair out of his face, so that he didn’t
resemble Cousin It! So with that, comes hope that I am doing the right thing,
no matter how painful this process is, I am doing it, because in the long run, it’s
what’s best for the Prince. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span><br />
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Pepperhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15820871786854131190noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-673996306551660371.post-40059122259360194612015-07-08T01:56:00.000-04:002015-07-08T01:56:01.010-04:00Keeping The Tunnel Lit
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYB8ksHwdbtb81ezhZC60DfuCetHdwRgXe07fFLPRtkAQyh9tL7iuBtcAmD8z8vC1S4IPBBSTfKvDcfsq800TFsSsTX4mL9l2m2NgLsvtr4LWleFyUZP9ckcQeCDTmg2Fc2-UyOv6EMiw/s1600/IMG_6516.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYB8ksHwdbtb81ezhZC60DfuCetHdwRgXe07fFLPRtkAQyh9tL7iuBtcAmD8z8vC1S4IPBBSTfKvDcfsq800TFsSsTX4mL9l2m2NgLsvtr4LWleFyUZP9ckcQeCDTmg2Fc2-UyOv6EMiw/s320/IMG_6516.JPG" width="224" /></a></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; vertical-align: baseline;">
It's true,
I wear my heart on my sleeve, I am an open book, <span>you have witnessed some of my deepest joys and sorrows
through my blog, I admit it, I’m an over-sharer, true story<strong>, </strong></span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">I tell all, some days all you
have to do is ask, and I'm like a flood gate gone bad, other days, I have to
wait until I have it sorted out, .......somewhat....then I can tell my story. </span><br />
<br />
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; outline: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">There is a reason for my
sharing, <em>(I'm hoping to be swooped up by an agent for my keen writing skills
....minus the spelling and grammar)</em> I am not just that into myself where
I think everything that happens in my life is so friggen hysterical ( <em>some days
i think I could have my own reality show),</em> or I have the most difficult child
in the entire world and you need to know that ( <em>well yeah - I think I do</em>), or I
have the most adorable fur pups known to mankind ( <em>well that's a true statement </em>). Mostly
it’s because I feel like someone out there has <em style="outline: 0px;"><span style="border: 1pt windowtext; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0in; padding: 0in;">got</span></em> to have experienced these things
before, maybe they can shed some light on things, or at least light a match so
I can find my way out of the tunnel!!! </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.2in; outline: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"> I
don't discriminate, I write about the good, the funny, the bad, and the
ugly. I write because sometimes, that's all I can do, as Elsa would say
"Let it go". And since my brain at the moment has entirely to many
browsers open, that's what I need to do...."let it go", even thou it
means over sharing! I'm laying here </span>in my pjs, pinned down by 2 fur
kids, on either side of me, and the cat plotting our death perched on the
dresser at 1:30am <em>(debating what he can toss off to hit me in the head)</em> I imagine
it makes some feel better to read about the crazy struggles happening in our
life, maybe it's because you can relate and feel like your not alone or maybe it's
because you say to yourself ..... “Boy I’m sure glad that's it's not me"!
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgE04svXxRQHPScsK9AK7ilYnOVmsinns_Z9xnU_ugCWXxdAguYLm9UOfH6INmaKHbQzBZPCO6zmWbJXV5P53L5FAAPm5pAAUbc_IL0LcBDPjNX4KdmFUrtspd4hpRWh0TanSruWvekNL4/s1600/IMG_6470.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="192" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgE04svXxRQHPScsK9AK7ilYnOVmsinns_Z9xnU_ugCWXxdAguYLm9UOfH6INmaKHbQzBZPCO6zmWbJXV5P53L5FAAPm5pAAUbc_IL0LcBDPjNX4KdmFUrtspd4hpRWh0TanSruWvekNL4/s320/IMG_6470.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.2in; outline: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
As many know, this has been a long,
tiring year for the hubs and I with Prince Charming we have struggled to figure
out what to do when our<a href="http://pepsbubble.blogspot.com/2015/04/my-square-peg.html" target="_blank"> square peg</a>, doesn't fit in that round hole .....I've
tried everything from putting him in a small charter school, withdrawing him
from school, enrolling him In homeschool, virtual school, nothing has worked,
and a few months ago at the doctors appointment it was suggested that he go to
residential treatment center. My insides have been screaming NO since those
words were uttered out loud, and my eyes remain a leaky faucet. I know what you
are thinking....What? Why? He's just going through a phase, he's a teenager,
sadly .....it's not a phase, the struggle is real, and we need to get our head
out of the sand and face the facts, we are fighting a battle we can not do
alone , he suffers from depression, anxiety, ODD,OCD and ADD. I struggle as a
parent, with the what ifs? What haves? Why me? Why us? What did we do to
deserve this? It's a selfish, yet real way of thinking.</div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.2in; outline: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
The past few months, I have worked
diligently in "<em>exhausting all efforts</em>" to get the Prince the help he
needs, of course there are several roadblocks that we have slammed into head
first. In this journey I have discovered what a shitty mental health system we
have, it's nearly impossible to get mental health care for children who are not
(thankfully) abusing drugs,alcohol or sucidical. They don't meet the criteria, for certain
programs, but hey let us know when he does!!! Seriously?? This is the world we
live in,where you can't get the much needed help to prevent stuff like this
from happening?? Then when you do find a program......the insurance denies
coverage, because it's out of network....but I could go to its sister center
located in another friggen state for $25 a day.....the location 30 mins from
home, is $275 a day!!! WTF?? Are you kidding me??? That's our healthcare at its
finest right there!!! Or let's put him in a drug rehab, because it's in
network!!</div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.2in; outline: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
I'm almost certain, by the time we
are done with this, I will need to be committed!!! </div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.2in; outline: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
After a solid month of negotiations with
the local center, the insurance company, the contractors, the insurance writers
and me making daily calls to admissions for this outpatient treatment center,
that solely focuses on his issues at hand.....I finally received the call TODAY
that they would take my insurance and he starts next Tuesday! Finally, I feel like I can breathe. That's one hurdle
crossed, the next will be next Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and everyday after that ......, taking the Prince and making him
participate in his wellbeing and overcoming his issues. We have had long talks,
that if this doesn't work, if he doesn't TRY then he will be in a residential
center and no he will not like those options ........ok I have talked long, he
grunts at me. I think he gets it, I hope he gets it, I pray he gets it. </div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.2in; outline: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4facfw9LftefNmb0jCVSQIf5OCxGe7T9TktMItu4d7i0AVtDXdG1dqn0w0ECdT-dAwpc1OO1stDq_67wRD3_ZK0aBhHuBypWYWqi5FJ8etStMbzoKwQ1K9k6KSeyopcfPlBRjrxvQT50/s1600/IMG_6478.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4facfw9LftefNmb0jCVSQIf5OCxGe7T9TktMItu4d7i0AVtDXdG1dqn0w0ECdT-dAwpc1OO1stDq_67wRD3_ZK0aBhHuBypWYWqi5FJ8etStMbzoKwQ1K9k6KSeyopcfPlBRjrxvQT50/s320/IMG_6478.JPG" width="258" /></a>We had a good week, a better week than we
have had in a long time, he got over and helped Mama Pepper a few days, he went
out a few times with the hubs.....in public .....in the daytime....did I
mention .....in public........around real humans! That's huge!!! So it gives me
hope, that he is willing to try and he will beat this! We will beat this! </div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.2in; outline: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
I hope that someday the Prince will realize and appreciate the great lengths and efforts that we have gone through to try and do what's best for him, I hope it is BEFORE he is picking out my bed in a nursing home..... </div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.2in; outline: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
But for today I have hope that maybe just maybe, my match will stay
lit a little while longer ......as I stumble down that long tunnel. . <o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.2in; outline: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<o:p> </o:p></div>
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<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.2in; outline: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<o:p></o:p> </div>
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Pepperhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15820871786854131190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-673996306551660371.post-45028513311204956072015-06-30T02:09:00.000-04:002015-06-30T02:09:29.860-04:00Shark Attack.....I have the scars to prove it
<br />
<div class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Of course we have all one of those conversations where
someone says something to you, and it sticks in your head for days on
end.....like now, when I really should be going to bed, but I currently have a
traffic jam in my head!!! So here I am 29 + 10 + 1 ( <em>yea do the math or stop at
the 29 - that's what I do),</em> and an innocent comment that a total stranger<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>made on Saturday morning, has my wheels
spinning in overdrive, like I am 5 years old again! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPtJt-b8iTV4tdZgbh_o8B6wP4ul9W48vArsCEVpPyvY7EDq-IWFpUrX_q-QBaJnrjS5VmZrvjz2civab42wvgZd4wSBGnQsaEOG7xYQaDmv64t_9YLhuhuIDzGjpQVQoS3yx-sie0yik/s1600/FullSizeRender.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="251" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPtJt-b8iTV4tdZgbh_o8B6wP4ul9W48vArsCEVpPyvY7EDq-IWFpUrX_q-QBaJnrjS5VmZrvjz2civab42wvgZd4wSBGnQsaEOG7xYQaDmv64t_9YLhuhuIDzGjpQVQoS3yx-sie0yik/s320/FullSizeRender.jpg" width="320" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: magenta; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">5th Birthday .. I think I am holding a cat hostage! </span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span><div class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Most people that know me, know I had hip surgery as kid,
where they broke both of my hips to turn my legs around, and I was in a full
body cast for months ( <em>seemed like forever</em>) and if you've seen me in shorts, a
bathing suit or those awesome micro minis ( <em>that I use to have the body to rock
in high school</em> ) then you know I also have scars, large dimple looking scars on
both sides of my hips. I was almost 5 and in a full body cast, from my chest
down to my toes, with a bar in between my legs and pins in my hips to keep my
legs straight, and I had a little red wagon that I traveled in, flat on top of it. I spent weeks at All Children's Hospital ....which funny enough is where I now work. </span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I remember certain things clearly, like my cousin "M" and her
friend "S" pulling me in my little red wagon to go Tricker Treating on Halloween, I
was dressed as a sweet little baby doll, I was transformed into a live screaming doll.....with real tears,
because when the neighbor, " Crazy Eddie" jumped out of the tree in a
gorilla suit ....and my 2 trusty babysitters RAN.... YEP they ran and left this
poor, defenseless child, in her full body cast on her wagon, screaming at the
crazy man in the gorilla suit!!!! Who took off his mask, to help calm me
down..... it didn't work ... I don't remember ever going Tricker Treating (Or anywhere else alone) with those 2 again,
that's for sure!!! I also remember same loving cousin, with her older brother
"B" putting me in a sleeping bag, and one being at the top of the stairs, while the
other was at the bottom ......and having me slide down.... More like a thump,
thump, thump <em>(they of course do not remember those adventures</em>). Or being propped up at my 5th birthday party or
Christmas eve,<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>because I had 2
positions I could be in, I could stand or lay down....I eventually learned to scoot
across the carpet on my belly at my great grandmothers house by pulling on the shag<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>carpet. I remember laying in<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>the back of a truck on blankets the entire
ride to the mountains<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I guess you can say it built character ..... because obviously I am full of it!!! HAHHAHA </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgl9yJy2EfQqZrRh_LgmCMX0EUS0Xi3c3cD5L46QZKHydGGb9Yg8M-L8H5-L7vEM5ZkSVV5T2SMBhEakrTBfj5YHKfB9EHpzn7QiruMjYmamH-JxLIoHQX1-rA6QplNf0s0z-byFATuHfs/s1600/IMG_6243.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgl9yJy2EfQqZrRh_LgmCMX0EUS0Xi3c3cD5L46QZKHydGGb9Yg8M-L8H5-L7vEM5ZkSVV5T2SMBhEakrTBfj5YHKfB9EHpzn7QiruMjYmamH-JxLIoHQX1-rA6QplNf0s0z-byFATuHfs/s320/IMG_6243.JPG" width="240" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: magenta;">See the dimple peeking out?</span> </span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span><div class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don't really
remember how long I was in the body cast,<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I do however remember the day I was freed from it ......I was screaming
"leave me in it" as I thought Dr. Hobbie was chain sawing me out of
it!!! I may not be good with names, but you tend to remember the man's name that broke both your legs, slapped you in a full body cast and was now trying to saw me in half ... Yep that was Dr. Hobbie.....(he has to be like 100 by now - because I can picture him in my head plain as day and he was like 100 then)</span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> I'm sure in my 5 year old mind, it was a way bigger saw than in
actuality and he may have only been 90-ish. But hey, my story, my memories!! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Once freed, I had to learn to do
everything all over again, walk swim, bike etc. I even mastered the art of twirling my baton, skating across the brick rode! That was cut short when I fell , broke my arm and a car ran over the TOP of me ... didn't hit me, ran over the top of my body...I know what you are thinking ... How on earth did I ever survive Childhood?? Pretty sure Mama Pepper wonders the same thing some days.. ......or how SHE survived my childhood!!! </span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I also now had these 2 long
scars on my hips, with dimples. Not sure I realized what they were until I returned to school the next year, Mama Pepper thought it best I repeated kindergarten ... something about <em>"learning to share again</em>" .... Hey you spend months in a cast and you will also NOT want to share your toys (or cat) with people who can walk away from you and not give it back!! What was I gonna do chase them?? I remember kids<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>being kids (<em> translation....mini asshats</em>) and saying " Ewww what's
that?" Or " Ewww what happened?" or wose "Eww Gross", these statement in some form or
another has followed me the entire 29 + 6 years (<em> I know again with the math</em>) I have adored these scars on my
hips. The doctors had once said, she will never have scars from this, she will
grow taller and the skin will stretch and you won't notice them. HA - I stopped
growing in 6th grade - so much for growing taller I have been 5' 2<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>and 1/2 <em>on big hair days that is....</em> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">One summer, I remember going to my granddaddy and crying
after we had been at the beach, and i was greeted with " <em>Ewww what
happened to you? Why do your legs look like that?</em>" He told me plain and
simple<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>as I sat on his knee and twirled
my finger around the salt rim on his Old Milwalkie beer (just so I could taste it) "<em>There<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>are all<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>types of people out there, if people want to talk about you, point and
stare, then give them something to talk about. Be proud of those battle scars
you wear, they make you unique and you</em>." .........Okay, seriously that was SO not the answer I wanted at 9 so we also devised several tall tales
about<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>what happened to me .....like I
was attacked by a shark, bear, a shot gun .....I mean really I have<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>2 scars on both of my outside hips .....it's
possible that's what actually happened!!! And to a 9 year old way more exciting
then hip surgery! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><br />
<div class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I realize that my scars are so very minor and do not even compare to so many people in this world, but nevertheless, I can't say that the comments or questions have ever
stopped about my scars, even Prince Charming when he was little utter those
very same words to me - it's what kids (and adults) do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I can say that my conversation when I was about 9 years old with my
granddaddy helped me FINALLY pass my speech class in college, when we had to
give a speech of something either completely true or completely false about
yourself. And fool the class ..... After all I had the proof I had be shot<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>and the bullet ejected right out the other
side of my hip! I so nailed that speech, granddaddy would have been proud! I'm
just glad no one was smart enough to ask me if I had holes between my thighs
.....and not just the outside! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Truthfully, I don't even realize they are there anymore,
unless it's cold or rainy out, then my hips ache only to remind me. Or when
someone points them out and to say " What happened to you?". </span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilpFX-6ZADmtY8NETSErlTxGPb-IeNV1azr8_T8Q14qJEszEe_UbrYTglnbRLxWx2kKoPOcnD7FhysFHG-N6IT6N8sn0C5nUSDuFj1wQHdhyuI3AJEwjo_MXFht2CvLQOIwYRRtH6AQFo/s1600/pic7777.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="color: black;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilpFX-6ZADmtY8NETSErlTxGPb-IeNV1azr8_T8Q14qJEszEe_UbrYTglnbRLxWx2kKoPOcnD7FhysFHG-N6IT6N8sn0C5nUSDuFj1wQHdhyuI3AJEwjo_MXFht2CvLQOIwYRRtH6AQFo/s320/pic7777.jpg" width="216" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: magenta;">See this is where the 12ft shark got me! </span><br />
<span style="color: black;"><span style="color: magenta;">those are teeth marks ..... I promise</span>! </span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: black;">Funny how an innocent conversation with a stranger, in a waiting room ,can
bring up a life time of memories, and feelings and all she said to me after
noticing my scars was " <em>Oh
wow, you know you can have that fix and get rid of that</em>", it took me a
minute to even realize what the hell she was talking about, until she started
explaining how they can stretch the skin, and pull this and<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>that and blah, blah, blah. I looked down at
my legs and for a split second, I felt like that little girl with the mean kids
pointing and saying "Ewww - what's that". Cutting her short before
she had me signed up for plastic surgery, I just smiled and said "<em>And why
would I want to go and do all that? These battle scars made me who I am today -
why change now?" <o:p></o:p></em></span></span></div>
<span style="color: black; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: black;">Don't get me wrong - there are plenty of things I would LOVE to fix and get rid of on my body ~ I mean don't we all??? I'd like to be 40lbs thinner, my arms and thighs to be firmer an ass you could bounce a quarter on, boobs that are back to the prefect perk I had at 19... But as far</span> as the dimples I have on my hips...... Nah - if I got rid of them....... I'd run out of stories to tell ......and then things would just be boring! </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><br />
<br />
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<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></div>
Pepperhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15820871786854131190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-673996306551660371.post-55757354056686188582015-05-12T22:58:00.001-04:002015-05-12T22:58:46.064-04:00I'm over here ....with the Unicorns A blank canvas ....and nothing to say? Seriously? I have so many rambling thoughts that are running a muck in my head, yet I can't seem to catch them! <br />
<br />
Everyone is wondering how is <a href="http://pepsbubble.blogspot.com/2015/04/my-square-peg.html" target="_blank">Virtual School</a>? Lets add that to the increasingly long list of WTF have I done now, and how do I fix it?? Needless to say .... this was not the magical cure we had all hoped it would be.The first few days, were nice, but now .......not so much! Obviously my motherly instincts suck at this thing we call kids!!! And NOPE ....I have idea what's next in my chapter .......maybe I should start thinking of book titles ....."<em>Welcome to</em> <em>Teenager Hell - I'll bring the Marshmallows</em>" sounds catchy right? "<em>This to shall pass...Like a Friggen Kidney Stone</em>" or maybe keep it simple ... "<em>Parenthood - WTH do I do now</em>?". I know they still need some work .....but I'm brainstorming here...... I've got several titles spinning in my head, that I would no doubt be in big trouble with my <em>Mama Pepper</em> for jotting down ... brainstorming or not! <br />
<br />
So lets just say there is no need to ask me how it's going so far ....especially because I have now mastered the art of rolling my eyes <em>(learned from Prince Charming himself</em>) , so far around that I am almost positive that I can see what's behind me! I will be sure to scream it from the roof tops when we are back on track or when I figure out what the hell I am doing.....which ever ones comes first! But thank you for listening when I need to talk it out...........<br />
<br />
For now............... I will be in my fairy tale world, where everything is sparkly and pink and I get to slide down rainbows and land on my unicorn. All without spilling my margarita, because some days sticking my head in the glitter is so much better than coming up for air and facing reality!<br />
<br />
If you need me....I'll be over here on my unicorn ......<br />
<br />
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Pepperhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15820871786854131190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-673996306551660371.post-51126887052152106952015-04-29T06:47:00.002-04:002015-04-29T06:47:29.454-04:00Just let it go .....
<br />
<div class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I realize that opinions are like assholes....everyone's
got one,which would be why I never post or write about religion or politics,
it's just not my thing. And I'm usually busy ranting and raving about Prince Charming ~ But today, I just have something to say......and not
everyone will agree, which is okay, that's your choice and that's what this is
about .....being able to choose. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRAJGxKlbr-6HTJKSciBsQczmc9u_VCAiyzPsOO6qkEFw8z5H3u3TuMx2dhA_VzY21js2O_5SAtQU3aMO83Jxzlpk6MVLDuJdmGIx8y9CqNpl8K_PvUABmvMhWYHtkDc7vawsIQDK3qiw/s1600/15822_481890771962087_7317510113460876592_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRAJGxKlbr-6HTJKSciBsQczmc9u_VCAiyzPsOO6qkEFw8z5H3u3TuMx2dhA_VzY21js2O_5SAtQU3aMO83Jxzlpk6MVLDuJdmGIx8y9CqNpl8K_PvUABmvMhWYHtkDc7vawsIQDK3qiw/s1600/15822_481890771962087_7317510113460876592_n.jpg" /></a><o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Until recently I never really gave it much thought, call
me selfish or oblivious<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>if you will, but
I never really thought about same sex marriages. I have a lot of gay friends
who have fabulous partners, but I never focused on the whole "marriage
thing" and NO it's not because I am against it, I guess I never stopped to
think about it not being "legal or accepted" by others. Or maybe it's
because<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I see my gay friends as that ...
My friends, I don't refer to people as my <em>gay friend, single friend, living in
sin friend, married, divorced 3 times, black, yellow or purple friend</em>. I'm not
sure why it should matter to anyone, who you wish to lay your head next to at
the end of the night, as long as your cherished and loved. I mean people get
married all the time right? Every time you turn around someone is getting
married, divorced, remarried, over and over again. You can get a mail order
bride, you can get married on Reality TV show without ever meeting! Really?
And That's okay with you? I don't see people protesting on the court house
steps for that! But letting 2 people that are the same sex get marry, who want to
get married is not okay??? Are you serious? Why not? It's just something I don't understand! We
don't choose who we fall in love with ....why do voters get to choose if gay
couples can marry? In this day and age its not only sad, it's just ridiculous! </span></div>
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</div>
<div class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">In January, Florida finally got their shit together an
legalized same sex marriages (<em>who knows maybe pot is next</em>). I was honored when
a lifelong family friend asked if I could officiate his wedding<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>to his partner of 13 years. I was also
freaked out because I am a total virgin and had never performed a wedding
.....much less a gay wedding! OMG - What will I say? What do I pronounce
them?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What will I wear? I mean really
you would have thought it was all about me, and that I was going to be the
blushing bride, the way my brian kept firing off questions in my head!!! I was
so nervous..... did I ever mention I hate public speaking? That I took Speech
class so many times , I lost count until I finally passed it only because the
class had like 5 people in it!!! I know hard to believe that I am could ever be
speechless. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">The big day was rapidly approaching, and I was more
nervous by each and every passing day!! I made the girls at work sit at lunch
time as I read the script to practice, I<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>had my captive audience at home "Jack and Jill" <em>the pups</em> who I
read it to at night (<em>okay ...maybe I had a cookie in hand</em>), along with the hubster (<em> who could have probably recited
it for me</em>) I made Mama Pepper come to the rehearsal dinner to help calm my
nerves ( <em>because as the gem will tell you ......she talks to everyone</em>)! We were
welcomed by their amazing family and friends and that's when I knew I could
this - for them! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">The day of the wedding the grooms were beaming that their
special day that they had waited for 13 years to have was finally here! They
did an amazing job with the help of their family and friends,<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can honestly say that this was one of the
most beautiful weddings ( <em>besides my own...but of course</em>) that I have even been to,
it also was one of the most REAL weddings that I have even been witness to.
From the gorgeous outside venue, the elegant flowers, decorations, pouring of
the unity sand, exchanging of rings , and the vows they wrote about their
struggles they face head on together and how their love gets them through it,
everything came from the heart. I stood with my knees knocking and butterfly in
my belly, in front of all their family and friends and witnessed what real,
raw, unconditional love is. As tears flowed down their faces, and the faces of
all those who came in love and support for them, I finished the ceremony and
proudly pronounced them Husband and Husband ( <em>and thankfully my voice didn't
even crack</em>)! </span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxIi6bI7w7yS_hn5b7f0-kNRKdhpJdt0IddR-u9IFK920h9CbFpPEbpBSNsXbxdVlp-SskcUQhRLYAf8tPhBWF9PTYuBuWuDikqcYdNBEwfMHqQWlQDfVYyJx5DKIsf_eu4BX-_S1R9xo/s1600/11084125_10205010639259343_3426224639865723177_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxIi6bI7w7yS_hn5b7f0-kNRKdhpJdt0IddR-u9IFK920h9CbFpPEbpBSNsXbxdVlp-SskcUQhRLYAf8tPhBWF9PTYuBuWuDikqcYdNBEwfMHqQWlQDfVYyJx5DKIsf_eu4BX-_S1R9xo/s1600/11084125_10205010639259343_3426224639865723177_o.jpg" height="300" width="400" /></a></div>
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<div class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">We all have daily battles and struggles we fight, I know I do......but can you for a second imagine NOT
being able to marry the one you love, not because they didn't love you back,
but because some dumb law declared that marriage was only between a man and a
woman? Or because someone else's religious views says it wrong. Can you imagine
loving someone that you've spent a lifetime with, only to have something happen
to them and because your not considered married - you don't have<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>rights or a say in their care, or well being?
Why with all the evil things that already happens daily in this world today like
riots, bombings, rape, murder etc. why can't we just let Love be Love?</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiF1sgP97T1tQ4hJKz5NAwDDb1QPITQqYfi3pgKXAdIuLbpvEu53g3upLdagsGZf-vxkMKsuMVEsmEJ_mA_FL0o4Tsj-CCzqW2f0sFsVAm4_kYhUvmozUckk1WIqPRKTjjANZtmpNjUmBQ/s1600/th09NLE7NK.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiF1sgP97T1tQ4hJKz5NAwDDb1QPITQqYfi3pgKXAdIuLbpvEu53g3upLdagsGZf-vxkMKsuMVEsmEJ_mA_FL0o4Tsj-CCzqW2f0sFsVAm4_kYhUvmozUckk1WIqPRKTjjANZtmpNjUmBQ/s1600/th09NLE7NK.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">At the
end of the day does it really matter what sex you are and what sex you choose
to love? In the end we all strive for the same thing, someone who will make us complete and who will love us during the good, the bad and the ugly. It doesn't seem fair that there are a few states that are still trying
to fight same sex marriage. Is there really nothing better for people to do
then protest who can marry who? </span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">How would you feel if the shoe was on the other foot and
you could not marry your love because you were a man and she was a woman? Just let Love be Love and let the world be a better place! </span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><o:p><div class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
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Pepperhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15820871786854131190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-673996306551660371.post-35378883772233902592015-04-11T15:03:00.003-04:002015-04-11T15:03:37.595-04:00My Square Peg <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh60KIH11mw-KDAvAj4vC8oeL-kD9gQY6YXfuigRjUw06DNaqM1OPblFfMoFuJ7pVkhYJN_J1GcM9F-pWbsR44-dirf68GDj6C5FrXo0uxHNG4jFidEfgVj4pqN8ENoTGzedVI27I6R0hw/s1600/20150318032642-Einstein_Frame.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh60KIH11mw-KDAvAj4vC8oeL-kD9gQY6YXfuigRjUw06DNaqM1OPblFfMoFuJ7pVkhYJN_J1GcM9F-pWbsR44-dirf68GDj6C5FrXo0uxHNG4jFidEfgVj4pqN8ENoTGzedVI27I6R0hw/s1600/20150318032642-Einstein_Frame.jpg" height="180" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The definition of Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting things to change. That's what we have been doing ...... and it doesn't work. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I have a friend who encourages me to always write it down ...my story's, my tales, my quirky thoughts and opinions, she believes I could be the next </span><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Erma_Bombeck" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Erma Bombeck</span></a><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">, a writer from the 60's who wrote columns and books <span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #252525; display: inline !important; float: none; font-family: sans-serif; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 22.39px; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 1; word-spacing: 0px;">chronicling the ordinary life of a suburban housewife using her humor to tell her tales! Now that right there would so be my dream job- right up there with sitting in my yoga pants, armed with my glue gun and crafting while sipping margaritas and petting the pups! Or professional shoe shopper .....</span></span><br />
<span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #252525; display: inline !important; float: none; font-family: sans-serif; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 22.39px; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 1; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></span><br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXy1CxOx7mevCYAn34YY3nv5Cc_k_-ZXpkNCvgr7VDlFl7JWy66ah3nqixYmIbo_k2h_jxtvwjHVPLEqFipVHyoFy_eRYvWjIBMl5r8PV3p3gRSad4KQ3mwnK7XDDE9ihrcTSf8_ydiOw/s1600/download.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXy1CxOx7mevCYAn34YY3nv5Cc_k_-ZXpkNCvgr7VDlFl7JWy66ah3nqixYmIbo_k2h_jxtvwjHVPLEqFipVHyoFy_eRYvWjIBMl5r8PV3p3gRSad4KQ3mwnK7XDDE9ihrcTSf8_ydiOw/s1600/download.jpg" /></a><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #252525; display: inline !important; float: none; font-family: sans-serif; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 22.39px; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 1; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I have haven't been writing it down lately, because when you write it down it becomes real, and like that famous quote from "A Few Good Men" ...</span></span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #252525; display: inline !important; float: none; font-family: sans-serif; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 22.39px; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 1; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">" <em>You want the Truth? You cant handle the truth</em>" - yep that's me, I cant handle the truth, the truth is I have been trying to jam a square peg in a round hole for years. I have dug my heels in so deep and fought tooth and nail, that this is the way things are ... because that's the way things need to be, because that's the normal thing to do. So what happens when that square peg just won't fit, no matter which way you turn it, no matter how bad you want it to glide right in to that round hole........ that shit just doesn't fit! </span></span><br />
<span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #252525; display: inline !important; float: none; font-family: sans-serif; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 22.39px; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 1; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The past few months have been a real challenge with our Prince Charming, he has been struggling for so long with being uncomfortable in his own skin, having such anxiety being at school that he would just sit in the front office and not go to class, and he just shut down. It was like watching a volcano erupt and sadly we didn't know what to do but sit there and watch and wonder what we should do and how we could fix it. I've cried morning, noon and night over what did I do so wrong? What do I do to fix it and make him happy??</span></span><br />
<span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #252525; display: inline !important; float: none; font-family: sans-serif; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 22.39px; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 1; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> I have an amazing support group of family and friends some who totally understand those struggles as they live them to some degree and some who just lead an ear to listen and offer their love and support. I have a friend who gives me a hug and says </span><a href="http://pepsbubble.blogspot.com/2013/03/she-has-her-wings.html" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Oh Pep...Oh Pep</span></a><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">" when she sees that I am having that kind of day that makes it tough to breathe (which has been a lot lately) The comfort I get in those 4 little words is overwhelming,(<em>even thou I am at boob height to her which can be awkward - Ha </em>) because she sounds just like my Aunt Doll, who we all miss so much! She would use that phase so often when I was telling her of our adventures as she would laugh and shake her head. </span></span><br />
<span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #252525; display: inline !important; float: none; font-family: sans-serif; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 22.39px; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 1; word-spacing: 0px;"></span><br />
<span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #252525; display: inline !important; float: none; font-family: sans-serif; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 22.39px; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 1; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So all those times I said ..."Over my dead body, When hell freezes over" and "Absolutely Not" have come to an abrupt halt. Here I am waving my white flag and surrendering - hell must be frosty because I ended up withdrawing PC from school and enrolling him into the Home School program (God help us) , which in 10 days after we get the approval will be Virtual Homeschool. </span></span><br />
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<li><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #252525; display: inline !important; float: none; font-family: sans-serif; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 22.39px; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 1; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Do I think that this will solve all the problems and issues we have with the gem? Nope - but I am trusting that my mothering instinct told me to do this for a reason </span></span></li>
<li><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #252525; display: inline !important; float: none; font-family: sans-serif; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 22.39px; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 1; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Do I think that it will be easy? Hell No - I am scared to death at what this will be like </span></span></li>
<li><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #252525; display: inline !important; float: none; font-family: sans-serif; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 22.39px; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 1; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Do I think this is the best option for my square peg in this round world? Well it damn sure is worth a try - what do I have to lose</span></span></li>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBuECAIkai5Y1-F5lQ7JoSeH1K1S-Uvy6G3Gx7ewszgTbPxrJWNDv5lwZuLMpWC3aZ17og0LjSWmClcpt9Zvbk0Am2eH9MP5iJbuyWInE8y52H1BpYCq0DQOKtWFjPTD2WU7J4JAPj3qU/s1600/61543e7bf920825af3aca36b92c65abb.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBuECAIkai5Y1-F5lQ7JoSeH1K1S-Uvy6G3Gx7ewszgTbPxrJWNDv5lwZuLMpWC3aZ17og0LjSWmClcpt9Zvbk0Am2eH9MP5iJbuyWInE8y52H1BpYCq0DQOKtWFjPTD2WU7J4JAPj3qU/s1600/61543e7bf920825af3aca36b92c65abb.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBuECAIkai5Y1-F5lQ7JoSeH1K1S-Uvy6G3Gx7ewszgTbPxrJWNDv5lwZuLMpWC3aZ17og0LjSWmClcpt9Zvbk0Am2eH9MP5iJbuyWInE8y52H1BpYCq0DQOKtWFjPTD2WU7J4JAPj3qU/s1600/61543e7bf920825af3aca36b92c65abb.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBuECAIkai5Y1-F5lQ7JoSeH1K1S-Uvy6G3Gx7ewszgTbPxrJWNDv5lwZuLMpWC3aZ17og0LjSWmClcpt9Zvbk0Am2eH9MP5iJbuyWInE8y52H1BpYCq0DQOKtWFjPTD2WU7J4JAPj3qU/s1600/61543e7bf920825af3aca36b92c65abb.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span> </a><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #252525; display: inline !important; float: none; font-family: sans-serif; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 22.39px; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 1; word-spacing: 0px;">Did I wake up this morning and take a deep breath and say WTF have I done? </span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #252525; display: inline !important; float: none; font-family: sans-serif; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 22.39px; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 1; word-spacing: 0px;">You bet your sweet ass I did. BUT I also noticed a difference in Prince Charming's attitude, like the weight of the world had been lifted. He even had the hair out of face which is a miracle all on its own, I could actually see those big beautiful brown eyes with those long gorgeous eye lashes and best of all he had a smile in his face - those are things we haven't seen in a while. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #252525; display: inline !important; float: none; font-family: sans-serif; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 22.39px; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 1; word-spacing: 0px;">Do I think that this was the miracle I have been praying for? No - I know we will have our ups and downs like we always do. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #252525; display: inline !important; float: none; font-family: sans-serif; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 22.39px; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 1; word-spacing: 0px;"></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #252525; display: inline !important; float: none; font-family: sans-serif; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 22.39px; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 1; word-spacing: 0px;"></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #252525; display: inline !important; float: none; font-family: sans-serif; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 22.39px; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 1; word-spacing: 0px;"><em> But </em></span></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #252525; display: inline !important; float: none; font-family: sans-serif; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 22.39px; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 1; word-spacing: 0px;"><em>for today ~ I think I will just raise my hands up in the air and enjoy the ride!</em> </span></span><br />
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The Prince .....well what can I say.....he is the same, still hasn't <a href="http://pepsbubble.blogspot.com/2014/11/19994-more-words-to-go.html" target="_blank">written his novel </a>............nor anything else! Hell - I could fill up 3 friggen novels just from the past several weeks!!! PC ended up with lice - ( i know , I know...start scratching your head now - makes me itchy just thinking about it) which as you can image with his many <i>"issues</i>" .....it tripled the normal effect of "OMG- lice" to about 100 times worse then you can ever even begin to image........ this happened a week before Thanksgiving Break - then his pop pop came over with some trusty scissors and did some fancy <i>Edward Scissorhands</i> on him .........and well he HATES his haircut and is never going back to school (<i>or anywhere else</i>) ...until it grows back!! Really he hates it because you can actually see he has a face underneath all that hair!!! Oh joy...... now I get to see the perpetual scowl on his face ...so clear now ~ before I was just guessing what he looked like!!<br />
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Thanksgiving was a disaster - 10 minutes before we were to leave to go to dinner ...PC had a complete meltdown ...and wouldn't go .....WTF??? Needless to say ..............none of us went - I dropped off what I was assigned to bring to dinner - no sense ruining everyone holiday ...and then I came home and had a bag of Apple Chips............nothing says "Happy Thanksgiving" than a bag of yummy Apple Chips right? Oh well....its got to be better for my waist line (which is rapidly growing) then a turkey dinner with all the trimmings right? <br />
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So here we are ... school starts back up again tomorrow ...and with the mere mention of those horrible words ............. "School Tomorrow" and we have had another meltdown!!! FTLOG ~ when will this ever end??!!! The hubster called me to pick up the Prince who was supposed to be helping renovate a house they are working on .............but hubster muttered those magic words ......"School" and it caused a major malfunction ..... So off I went to pick him up and lets just say ............I wont be winning any "Mother of the Year" awards today......... (<i> not like I am up for nomination or anything</i>). We have tried to explain that if he doesn't go to school...then either "WE" will end up in jail for NOT sending him ...or he will end up there for NOT going! It doesn't seem to phase him that "we" could go to jail"<i>(I'm sure he thinks that would be great - he could get on the computer anytime he wants and have pizza for breakfast, lunch and dinner) </i>so as I was in the car driving ..with the Prince in the back seat not speaking to me .......I started thinking ...well would it phase him to think HE would be going to jail instead?? The things that make you hummm...<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgG-9f6I_dir6fGDlpSsJL61Vnwhv0GGzddV65UsGcXucFdsQX0B__QeRPFGWuzIp0mzB1MmT4zO4w_1OJfAwY2x6dLr7PPQfIONqtQXLv3-xPcchST6wQd2bZj4Wdg48aluzQhhIcn0ZI/s1600/download+(1).jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgG-9f6I_dir6fGDlpSsJL61Vnwhv0GGzddV65UsGcXucFdsQX0B__QeRPFGWuzIp0mzB1MmT4zO4w_1OJfAwY2x6dLr7PPQfIONqtQXLv3-xPcchST6wQd2bZj4Wdg48aluzQhhIcn0ZI/s1600/download+(1).jpg" height="224" width="320" /></a>It wasn't until we were all the way downtown almost to the Police Station (<i>yes , I seriously drove there)</i> that the Prince spoke ..."Where are we going?" I choose to take a play out of his own playbook and not answer and he asked again only louder ... finally as we rounded the corner and there it was The Police Station - I looked up and in the mirror (and very calmly I might add) I said "Well I am skipping this step for tomorrow......I am bringing you to the police ...so they don't have to come to the house and arrest you for refusing to go to school tomorrow morning" <i>(I mean really .....after all...... what would the neighbors say if the cops showed up?) </i><br />
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Did it affect him? I won't really know until tomorrow morning comes .when its time to poke the bear and get him up and ready ......... but he looked up at the looming station and said "No, please, just take me home, I am going to school tomorrow, I am, Please just go home"! I know ... I know... just breathe.... this too shall pass........ he will out grow it.....and blah, blah, blah .....<br />
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Pepperhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15820871786854131190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-673996306551660371.post-47870963412226747262014-11-09T19:37:00.001-05:002014-11-09T19:37:09.103-05:0019,994 more words to go ......Don't they say we write our own chapter in life? Ha - I beg to differ I would be writing about unicorns, glitter and puppies dog tails ..... And not this horror story of the teenage years (in my case ...its been much longer then teen years)!!!! I'd like to say it's the age, that these teenagers suck the life right outta ya.....but I think it might just be my bundle of joy!!<br />
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Clearly I didn't get this parenting job right - maybe they should have asked for references before they handed me that blue bundle of joy - before they said " here take him home - he's yours to keep and to screw up" and I am pretty a sure he is to old to drop off at the fire station ~ and he knows his way home!! </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_An4zPh31nEYOxZGIYjRSaBeXK66h06gDcitClaetVuOkga5Ls5gX9v33wdmW87vhexewYzEleGKzv-awQCcKJdPFcRGPElklOUhhDz9H8QcFJrb334GdExSWaMqQZMq2BDprDje8GNY/s1600/homework_parents.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_An4zPh31nEYOxZGIYjRSaBeXK66h06gDcitClaetVuOkga5Ls5gX9v33wdmW87vhexewYzEleGKzv-awQCcKJdPFcRGPElklOUhhDz9H8QcFJrb334GdExSWaMqQZMq2BDprDje8GNY/s1600/homework_parents.jpg" height="219" width="320" /></a>I had my first teacher conference the other day ...... nothing like sitting in a room of teachers, who are looking at you for answers on how to make your child respond, listen to them...and get his work done..... Um hello..... That's why I am here!!! I am the one seeking advice - so nope .....I got nada for you!!!! After surviving the 1st week of school ,the battle became daily over homework, which the Prince rarely does any, when he decides to do it, he does it half ass - and forgets to turn it in, or the hubs sits and gets it done ( he is way more patient then I am for that)!!! OMG how I hate homework!!! And I have openly admitted to the teachers, I have no idea how to do some of it ( like the math) without sitting down and learning Algebra all over again......Seriously.....When have I ever used it????NEVER that's when!!! Obviously I am not smarter then an 8th grader!!! </div>
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I voiced my concern that he "we" would have to repeat 8th grade again because he isn't doing his work or making the grades...and I quote from the principal ......" <em>Oh there's no danger there, his assessment scores are way to high, even if he never did another ounce of work the rest of the year, he would be promoted</em>". WTH??? I blurted out " <em>Well don't tell him that</em>"!!!! So here I am contemplating that statement .....should I just stop fretting all together over homework and let him figure this out all on his own??? Stop letting homework issues become ground zero at our house??? It would certainly make evenings more pleasant at our house, if we were not in a constant battle over it!<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnzXZB8esGxbnEyQ4X8ltrgD-sdtU1Bd1SEV-_pRbXlSCVFwOsdLGNEIyd0td9ubna8JqLRSUGiRQS6LGLBQVxVfG7FkXw0DhCSd9tg1jxQd6yb-XA7JYyUetpKVmZ-kKiyn8COo6LXj4/s1600/33.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnzXZB8esGxbnEyQ4X8ltrgD-sdtU1Bd1SEV-_pRbXlSCVFwOsdLGNEIyd0td9ubna8JqLRSUGiRQS6LGLBQVxVfG7FkXw0DhCSd9tg1jxQd6yb-XA7JYyUetpKVmZ-kKiyn8COo6LXj4/s1600/33.JPG" height="320" width="320" /></a>Ughhhh what a tangle web we weave as parents!!! Why isn't there a handbook for these difficult creatures!! I know .... I know.... There are a. million books out there .... But I need one that is specific to my Prince Charming....and let me tell you...there isn't one!!!! And obviously I would be writing the "<em>What NOT To Do</em> " version of it!<br />
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Oh and talk about writing ....apparently PC is suppose to be writing a novel, yep writing a novel, for this class project .... They have been "supposed" to be working on it all week at school ...(he has been THINKING ....and NOT writing) want to know how many words he needs to have by tomorrow (<em>according to him</em>) 20,000 .............how many does he have .....6 ....(and they aren't really the words for his novel but names and location) ...... hummm if my math is correct on this one he needs 19,994 more words!!! OMG ~ guess what he's doing ....."He's THINKING" .....THINKING of what to write!!! WTH??? Stop thinking and start writing!!! (Insert screaming mother here) ...............</div>
Pepperhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15820871786854131190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-673996306551660371.post-41099791990195736682014-08-22T18:36:00.001-04:002014-08-22T18:36:19.962-04:00WE MADE IT <div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCX209330781" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; color: black; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 8px/normal Calibri, sans-serif; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVHwoMPZPmc92xp0v_hl_jNtL5keJirCEtLTYFhQJ80e4Xqg8kfvS5it2ml4fUjL5pN1VGxyKQpkBdjNbpIb9aA1OihXs_oU1O90OLxxEeO1n2CsJPnUh5sVn9-pJgLTJeqLNA1QiGh1Q/s1600/images34EKJUVK.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVHwoMPZPmc92xp0v_hl_jNtL5keJirCEtLTYFhQJ80e4Xqg8kfvS5it2ml4fUjL5pN1VGxyKQpkBdjNbpIb9aA1OihXs_oU1O90OLxxEeO1n2CsJPnUh5sVn9-pJgLTJeqLNA1QiGh1Q/s1600/images34EKJUVK.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="Paragraph SCX209330781" style="-ms-word-wrap: break-word; background-color: transparent; color: windowtext; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 6pt; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: left; vertical-align: baseline;" xml:lang="EN-US">
<span class="TextRun SCX209330781" style="background-color: transparent; color: windowtext; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none;" xml:lang="EN-US"><span class="NormalTextRun SCX209330781" style="background-color: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">OMG - we have survived one whole week!! Can you believe it! We survived an entire week of school without Crazy Mama here being featured on the evening news!! Hallelujah - it must have been that small chapel fire that Mama Pepper started by lighting the candles in the chapel at the hospital! Lets have a total recap here of week one. </span></span><span class="EOP SCX209330781" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"> </span></div>
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<div class="Paragraph SCX209330781" style="-ms-word-wrap: break-word; background-color: transparent; color: windowtext; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 6pt; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: left; vertical-align: baseline;" xml:lang="EN-US">
<span class="TextRun SCX209330781" style="background-color: transparent; color: windowtext; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none;" xml:lang="EN-US"><span class="NormalTextRun SCX209330781" style="background-color: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><strong>Day 1</strong> - After several text to "<em>Come Get Me, I want to come home, I want to do virtual school….</em></span><em><span class="SpellingError SCX209330781" style="background-color: inherit; background-image: url("data:image/gif; background-position: 0% 100%; background-repeat: repeat-x; border-bottom-color: transparent; border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-width: 1px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">yada</span><span class="NormalTextRun SCX209330781" style="background-color: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span><span class="SpellingError SCX209330781" style="background-color: inherit; background-image: url("data:image/gif; background-position: 0% 100%; background-repeat: repeat-x; border-bottom-color: transparent; border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-width: 1px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">yada</span><span class="NormalTextRun SCX209330781" style="background-color: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span><span class="SpellingError SCX209330781" style="background-color: inherit; background-image: url("data:image/gif; background-position: 0% 100%; background-repeat: repeat-x; border-bottom-color: transparent; border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-width: 1px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">yada</span></em><span class="NormalTextRun SCX209330781" style="background-color: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">," had all been ignored PC resorted to calling, calling,…..And calling after the 4th call, then the school called! OMG and this is day 1?? Are you kidding me?? So I met the director in the office at school and became the hysterical mother, I so don’t want to be, BUT COME ON!!! First<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span><span class="SpellingError SCX209330781" style="background-color: inherit; background-image: url("data:image/gif; background-position: 0% 100%; background-repeat: repeat-x; border-bottom-color: transparent; border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-width: 1px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">friggen</span><span class="NormalTextRun SCX209330781" style="background-color: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>day??? Are you kidding- she was so super sweet and told me to bring him everyday - and we will try this everyday!!! Since he was in the lunch room and didn’t realize I was there at school, I left him there!! I didn’t get anymore calls until 2:46pm …...since school gets out at 2:45pm and obviously I was now LATE picking him up……</span></span><span class="EOP SCX209330781" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"> </span></div>
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<span class="TextRun SCX209330781" style="background-color: transparent; color: windowtext; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none;" xml:lang="EN-US"><span class="SpellingError SCX209330781" style="background-color: inherit; background-image: url("data:image/gif; background-position: 0% 100%; background-repeat: repeat-x; border-bottom-color: transparent; border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-width: 1px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">Ahhhhh</span><span class="NormalTextRun SCX209330781" style="background-color: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>yes, Day 1 ended with a few double tall mango margaritas……..for me...because OMG I so needed them!!! </span></span></div>
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<div class="Paragraph SCX209330781" style="-ms-word-wrap: break-word; background-color: transparent; color: windowtext; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 6pt; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: left; vertical-align: baseline;" xml:lang="EN-US">
<span class="TextRun SCX209330781" style="background-color: transparent; color: windowtext; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none;" xml:lang="EN-US"><span class="NormalTextRun SCX209330781" style="background-color: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><strong>Day 2</strong> - This mama awoke with a ranging headache- was it the thought of facing yet another day of school or the thought of poking the bear to wake up and get ready for school?? I think so ….I am sure it had <em><strong>nothing</strong></em> to do with the <em>double tall mango margaritas</em> that I sucked down the night before....nothing at all....</span></span><span class="EOP SCX209330781" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"> </span></div>
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<div class="Paragraph SCX209330781" style="-ms-word-wrap: break-word; background-color: transparent; color: windowtext; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 6pt; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: left; vertical-align: baseline;" xml:lang="EN-US">
<span class="TextRun SCX209330781" style="background-color: transparent; color: windowtext; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none;" xml:lang="EN-US"><span class="NormalTextRun SCX209330781" style="background-color: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">So no calls and no text messages…… that could be that PC's phone was ...um not really charged … ..you know that charger somehow was not fully pushed in …(<em>wink, wink, nudge, nudge</em>). Well at the end of the day the hubster called to tell me he has picked up the wrong child…… this alien child got on the phone to let me know that "<em>Apparently I like it</em>" ….Likes what?? " <em>Um,... School ...I like school</em>". </span></span><span class="EOP SCX209330781" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"> </span></div>
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<span class="TextRun SCX209330781" style="background-color: transparent; color: windowtext; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none;" xml:lang="EN-US"><span class="NormalTextRun SCX209330781" style="background-color: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><em>OMG- whoever this child is that you picked up ….Lets keep him!!!</em> </span></span><span class="EOP SCX209330781" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"> </span></div>
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<div class="Paragraph SCX209330781" style="-ms-word-wrap: break-word; background-color: transparent; color: windowtext; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 6pt; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: left; vertical-align: baseline;" xml:lang="EN-US">
<span class="TextRun SCX209330781" style="background-color: transparent; color: windowtext; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none;" xml:lang="EN-US"><span class="NormalTextRun SCX209330781" style="background-color: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><strong>Day 3</strong> -<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span><span class="SpellingError SCX209330781" style="background-color: inherit; background-image: url("data:image/gif; background-position: 0% 100%; background-repeat: repeat-x; border-bottom-color: transparent; border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-width: 1px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">Hubster</span><span class="NormalTextRun SCX209330781" style="background-color: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>called me to say that PC has called and wasn’t feeling well…….WTH?? What?? Already it's only day 3?? I told<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span><span class="SpellingError SCX209330781" style="background-color: inherit; background-image: url("data:image/gif; background-position: 0% 100%; background-repeat: repeat-x; border-bottom-color: transparent; border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-width: 1px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">hubster</span><span class="NormalTextRun SCX209330781" style="background-color: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>-don’t answer the phone ...and leave him at school, he will be fine! Yep, I put my foot down - we cant be picking him up on the 3rd day of school early!!! </span></span></div>
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<span class="TextRun SCX209330781" style="background-color: transparent; color: windowtext; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none;" xml:lang="EN-US"><span class="NormalTextRun SCX209330781" style="background-color: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"></span></span> </div>
<div class="Paragraph SCX209330781" style="-ms-word-wrap: break-word; background-color: transparent; color: windowtext; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 6pt; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: left; vertical-align: baseline;" xml:lang="EN-US">
<span class="TextRun SCX209330781" style="background-color: transparent; color: windowtext; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none;" xml:lang="EN-US"><span class="NormalTextRun SCX209330781" style="background-color: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">He went home at 1pm ……<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span><span class="SpellingError SCX209330781" style="background-color: inherit; background-image: url("data:image/gif; background-position: 0% 100%; background-repeat: repeat-x; border-bottom-color: transparent; border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-width: 1px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">ughhhhhh</span><span class="NormalTextRun SCX209330781" style="background-color: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span><span class="SpellingError SCX209330781" style="background-color: inherit; background-image: url("data:image/gif; background-position: 0% 100%; background-repeat: repeat-x; border-bottom-color: transparent; border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-width: 1px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">killen</span><span class="NormalTextRun SCX209330781" style="background-color: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>me.......</span></span><span class="EOP SCX209330781" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"> </span></div>
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<span class="TextRun SCX209330781" style="background-color: transparent; color: windowtext; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none;" xml:lang="EN-US"><span class="NormalTextRun SCX209330781" style="background-color: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"></span></span><span class="EOP SCX209330781" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"> </span></div>
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<div class="Paragraph SCX209330781" style="-ms-word-wrap: break-word; background-color: transparent; color: windowtext; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 6pt; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: left; vertical-align: baseline;" xml:lang="EN-US">
<span class="TextRun SCX209330781" style="background-color: transparent; color: windowtext; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none;" xml:lang="EN-US"><span class="NormalTextRun SCX209330781" style="background-color: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><strong>Day 4</strong> -<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span><span class="SpellingError SCX209330781" style="background-color: inherit; background-image: url("data:image/gif; background-position: 0% 100%; background-repeat: repeat-x; border-bottom-color: transparent; border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-width: 1px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">Ahhh</span><span class="NormalTextRun SCX209330781" style="background-color: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>yes, we are almost there 4 days down and 177 more to go. Apparently, rolling down the window and yelling "<em>BYE - have a great day</em>" with a giant smile on your face, can be hazardous to your health ...and possibly can get you killed….with looks… LMAO- yes, it was so worth it ...pretty sure his head almost spun around!!! HAHAHAHAHA - now that was fun!! Day 4 was also good, with the exception that he'd like to "<em>hit some girl in the face</em>" ...</span><span class="SpellingError SCX209330781" style="background-color: inherit; background-image: url("data:image/gif; background-position: 0% 100%; background-repeat: repeat-x; border-bottom-color: transparent; border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-width: 1px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">ahhh</span><span class="NormalTextRun SCX209330781" style="background-color: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><span class="Apple-converted-space"> if she is that annoying</span> she must like him.........- because she was being a "B - word"<span class="Apple-converted-space"> - Y</span></span><span class="NormalTextRun SCX209330781" style="background-color: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">ep confirms it - that means she likes<span class="Apple-converted-space"> y</span></span><span class="SpellingError SCX209330781" style="background-color: inherit; background-image: url("data:image/gif; background-position: 0% 100%; background-repeat: repeat-x; border-bottom-color: transparent; border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-width: 1px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">ou</span><span class="NormalTextRun SCX209330781" style="background-color: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>…. </span></span><span class="EOP SCX209330781" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"> </span></div>
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<span class="TextRun SCX209330781" style="background-color: transparent; color: windowtext; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none;" xml:lang="EN-US"><span class="NormalTextRun SCX209330781" style="background-color: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"></span></span><span class="EOP SCX209330781" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"> </span></div>
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<div class="Paragraph SCX209330781" style="-ms-word-wrap: break-word; background-color: transparent; color: windowtext; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 6pt; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: left; vertical-align: baseline;" xml:lang="EN-US">
<span class="TextRun SCX209330781" style="background-color: transparent; color: windowtext; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none;" xml:lang="EN-US"><span class="NormalTextRun SCX209330781" style="background-color: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><strong>Day 5</strong> - OMG - we made it a full week!! 176 more days left of school , only 35 weeks left this year!!! And I have discovered how you get your child out of the car and running into the school with utter excitement and joy! Ok - not really …...but I did get him to flee the car rather quickly by telling him I was going to jump out of the car and start taking "selfies' while belting out some tunes that were playing in the car!!! </span></span><span class="EOP SCX209330781" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"> </span></div>
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<span class="EOP SCX209330781" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">And the final conformation that this was a successful week ....was a text from the Director saying "Happy Friday" with a picture of PC in class, participating and everything!!! Yep - I'd know the back of that head...and hair anywhere!! </span></div>
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<span class="EOP SCX209330781" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><strong><em>Hallelujah ~I cant wait to this again next week!!! Oh wait ... that must be the margaritas speaking!!! After all it is Friday!!!</em> </strong></span></div>
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Pepperhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15820871786854131190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-673996306551660371.post-48700329679556788392014-08-17T10:30:00.001-04:002014-08-17T10:30:15.278-04:00A Nightmare in the Making <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhk8s-cTYKwSXokKkFwnpzt1-9wfBY8rOSDoIIWqqp5EUqdyEXGklqa2Zg0Px36HoVYYcD1lIIeWdW2Rw5DGGPksqk2PxIpnLJeFsN3pilVrBrO3swbiJawNGilNe2ZrS_O4E0C0GM4js/s1600/81ca9f842be7e9383176232b9acb6fff.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhk8s-cTYKwSXokKkFwnpzt1-9wfBY8rOSDoIIWqqp5EUqdyEXGklqa2Zg0Px36HoVYYcD1lIIeWdW2Rw5DGGPksqk2PxIpnLJeFsN3pilVrBrO3swbiJawNGilNe2ZrS_O4E0C0GM4js/s1600/81ca9f842be7e9383176232b9acb6fff.jpg" /></a>The drumming of the fingernails on the table, clenched fist pounding against the thigh , the tear swelling eyes, the consist "Can we go" plea through clenched teeth and then the gush of tears as we head back to the car. Yep that is how "Meet the teacher went" on Friday. And have I mentioned that school actually starts on Monday?? Lets just say at home it didn't get any better, PC lost his door due to slamming it, lost computer privileges ...yet again. The anxiety and shear panic of starting school on Monday, has created complete and absolute chaos for our household (not that its always smooth sailing) , what do you do as a parent, when you have a child pleading, begging, sobbing, arguing with you to please let them do virtual school? The thing you said would be "<em>Over my dead body</em>", do you rethink that option? Do you drag that child to the school, and make him suck it up, because this is the way it is? I'd like to say "YES - that's what you do, because you are the parents" but in reality, I don't think I can make him go to school. How the hell would I get him up, dressed , ready , and in the car? Then get him out of the car, into the classroom and tell him to have a good day? Do I really want to subject the teachers to this torture - I mean he wouldn't even speak to them - not even a hello!!! WTF?? I am sure they are uber excited to have him in class this year! Do I drag the sheriff here and say , can you make him go to school? Do you think he will come all 180 days of school? I doubt it, and I don't think that we as a family would survive the next 180 days of school without one of the following happening.....<br />
<ol>
<li> Me being in jail for attempted murder (<em>or worse)</em> </li>
<li>Getting divorced </li>
<li>Running away and assuming another identity (<em>hey that option doesn't look so bad</em>) </li>
<li>Dropping child off at the fire station and running the other way </li>
</ol>
None of those options I think are in my favor, with the exception of # 3 & maybe 4 if done in a remote location and he didn't remember our address.<br />
<br />
So now what?? I have no freaking idea!! Do I struggle daily with the "What did I do wrong? Why is he like this? WHY? WHY? WHY? Why is he an ass? Why cant he just be a happy, normal , functioning human being, like everyone else seems to be??? Why me? Why us? How does one child have so much control? WHY???? WTF??? YEP - you bet your sweet ass I struggle with that internal battle every freaking day!! Some days it's easier then others, right now it's a friggen nightmare - as school starts in less than 24 hours!! We've spent $100 in school supplies ( <em>BTW have already been delivered to the school</em>) , not to mention the other $150 in uniforms.......(<em>which BTW he wouldn't go shopping to try the friggen shorts on ....so I went and got 2 different sizes, came home, made him try them on LAST SUNDAY ....and went and bought the size he told me that fit ....took the other pair back ...oh and guess what?? Yep that's right ... when he put them on Friday ... they didn't fit, they aren't comfortable!!!WTF?? Are you kidding me??? Then he tells me I didn't buy the ones he tried on at the house!!!! OMG- shoot me now!!!</em> ) So I say again now what?? <br />
<br />
We have told him he has to go to school tomorrow, that we are looking into virtual school - I've showed him the "Enrollment is closed notice on the website" and the email from the Virtual Director that it will open again on Aug. 25th and that they MUST be attending the school they are assigned" and of course he has to argue the fact that ....."<em>If enrollment is closed WHY are they still showing commercials for the </em>virtual school" OMG I don't F-ing know - sooooo I shut the TV off ....then he had to watch me send an email back asking if there was anyway to get in before the 25th. He has also been told that IF he does virtual school he has to pick 2 outside extra activities that involve being around people!!! How can a 13 year old be so anti social??? SERIOUSLY???? WTH????<br />
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Parenting the worlds most difficult child has taught me one thing......NEVER, EVER say "<em>Oh I will never do this or that</em>"! Because it comes back to bite you in the ass every friggen time...........they say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger right?? Right about now I should be she-woman! <br />
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Lets all take a moment of silence and pray ......"Dear God, please don't let Pepper be featured on the 6'Oclock news" Amen....Pepperhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15820871786854131190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-673996306551660371.post-1365549255775104622014-08-10T22:18:00.001-04:002014-08-10T22:18:07.150-04:00Its Offical TSA Has My Picture .....<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFOsoNINY70tAKaFUDRCdBQGSV74yEp7jkxNFJ0gcUIXJzJqy-255Lv7JZn9XWws3Up2O59sBTZ0t-9r4THNu81Wiavv-aWNnt_2KPf2wOMTXIIcHpb42Tfg869hm4jCS6MRFtvfM003A/s1600/untit88888888888led.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFOsoNINY70tAKaFUDRCdBQGSV74yEp7jkxNFJ0gcUIXJzJqy-255Lv7JZn9XWws3Up2O59sBTZ0t-9r4THNu81Wiavv-aWNnt_2KPf2wOMTXIIcHpb42Tfg869hm4jCS6MRFtvfM003A/s1600/untit88888888888led.png" height="203" width="320" /></a>Is it the red hair and freckles? Is what what makes me look suspicious??? Clearly I must look suspicious, because I was frisked yet again in airport security!!! At least this time, they didn't have me remove any of my clothing, like my flight from Texas! No instead I was felt up by the female security guard, while the male stood there with his stupid grin as he nodded his head. But no one has felt up the guy I am getting my contact buzz from! Come up!!! He's a walking "pot" stack!! Stepping on the tram, the overwhelming smell of pot filled the car, ( not that's know what that smells like) like a shake my head and say WHAT smell!! Obviously I thought it must be my imagination as I glanced around for the stoner, hummmm he looks like he could be the one. But I'm not judging after all it is 4:30am....we all are glossy eyed at this point!!! <br />
<br />
As I plop down in my seat on the plane, there it is again..... That lingering odor ..... And oh ...look I am so shocked.... It's the man from the tram!!! Either he has on some strong, pot-smelling cologne .....or he smoked it up to calm his nerves before he had to fly, or maybe it's for medical purposes, or he's from a state that has legalized it .....what ever it is he did..... I am pretty sure the whole friggen plane now has a contact buzz!!!! Ummmm, excuse me ......can I get my bag of peanuts now? I'm getting the munchies......<br />
<br />
So just some random thought here ......while I am crammed like sardines in the giant metal tube .... 20,000 feet in the air.....and just came outta the restroom....<br />
<ol>
<li>Have you ever wondered about the mile high club??? Seriously??? How would you go about getting busy in the bathroom??? I mean hello.... There's not enough room to squat to pee let alone have another person in there with you!!!! Maybe if you were a midget ( no offense - after all I am only 5'2 and a 1/2 on a good day )! I guess I won't ever have to worry about that hubster hates to fly and fitting his 6' 3 self in there with me ..... Yeah we'd have better luck nailing jello to a wall then that ever happening!!!</li>
<li>Do you think the flight attendant ever says " hey dumbass - yeah you ..... the one not paying attention to my safety demonstration..... If this sucker crashes your SOL because I'm not helping you"!!</li>
<li>Have you ever noticed that on a plane, that sneezes, make people jump, maybe we (yep me included) think that somehow that sneeze that echoes through the cabin will cause the air pressure in this metal tin can explode? Or that everyone has their nose in their phone, like they are afraid to make eye contact? Like OMG - if I look at her, she might start talking to me ....well yeah ....isn't that what people still do??? Apparently not at 5am.....</li>
<li>Why do people in the aisle seat lean and look down towards the front of the plane? It's not like the pilot has his door open , so we can see out the front window.....but yet here we all are ( yep me included) leaning as he is landing the plane...like somehow we are helping the process. </li>
</ol>
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So I wrote this on my trip up to Cincinnati - but didn't have a way to upload it. So you know what that means?? YEPPER - you get to read my adventures on the return trip to......<em>All 3 people that actually read this randomness that I spew! </em><br />
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Adventures of Return Trip ...Take 2 ......<br />
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<li><span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}">I was flagged at the airport in Cincinnati also!!! OH COME ON?? Is my friggen picture hanging up in the security station?? Swabbing my hands for explosive materials- Humm nope don't think I was playing with anything that could explode this morning .(<em> a few items that could .........oh never mind</em>) ... but hey swab away! Oh and that little 5 year old little girl next to me she looks fishy too, better swab her up. </span><span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}">Good news ....didn't find any evidence of explosive materials on either of us. But they did confiscate her hair detangle that was in her little pink polka dotted backpack ....I feel your pain honey ...they took my hairspray one time.... </span></li>
<li><span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}">Next up they pulled my bag off the belt ....... and then back in it goes...HUH??? And now they have to check it .....my heart just fluttered!! Did I mention I went to Pure Romance conference and did some "<em>product shopping for those items that make ya go .........." . </em>Oh sorry - TMI I know...I know.....but they are for my inventory (wink , wink). and um yeah ... had to move a few things around when I got to the airport my bag was to ....heavy!!!! OMG- did I forget to remove all the B.O.B's (battery operated boyfriends) from my carry on?? OH CRAP ..... and out he pulls ......my Orange .....Sunkist ......Soda .... Whew... wiping the sweat from my brow, pretty sure that would have been an entertaining yet very embarrassing conversation right there in security! </span></li>
<li><span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}">Back on the puddle jumper plane I go - where the awkward silence fills the mini- tin-can when they ask if we can move people around to make sure the weight of the plane is even .....</span></li>
<li><span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}">Tin - can lands, takes a tad longer then it is supposed to as it pulls up to the gate...which we disembark right there on the run way.... and have to wait while they get our carry on luggage ...that we weren't aloud to carry on...because the plane was to small..... and my next flight departs in 20 minutes ....OMG </span></li>
<li><span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}">Obviously airport designers / or airport management were locked in the room with the "pot-smoking" traveler from my previous flight ...... when they designed the friigen airport!!!</span><span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"> How about you make connecting flight gates next to or at least near the friggen plane that you have assigned for my connecting flight!!! And not all the friggen way across the friggen airport. I had to bust into a sprint, failing my arms wildly, probably took a few people out as I race to catch my plane ......made it ............just as they were doing last call!!! WTH</span></li>
<li><span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}">Ahhh finally here I am ........in my seat ..... breathing heavy....and WTH ....Seriously?? What is that smell??? Ughhh I have a stinky, rude, ass-much sitting next to me .....am I am pretty sure that he is sending out silent but deadly gas fumes... as he keeps turning in his seat and aiming his stinky ass towards me. Oh .... and just my luck ...its a full friggen plane!!! </span></li>
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<span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}">So there you have it - Obviously the TSA has my picture hanging up in every friggen airport!! Oh and to answer my random thought about the flight attendant telling someone they are SOL - yeah ...it happens!! Well I wasn't exactly like that ....However ass-munch was rude and she told him all about his rude self and he could wait for his drink!! LMAO - YOU GO GIRL!!! Her and I bonded ......</span><br />
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<span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"></span>Pepperhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15820871786854131190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-673996306551660371.post-55702065266878628462014-07-31T20:10:00.001-04:002014-07-31T20:10:19.192-04:00Its a Dog Thang ........<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: blue;">Roxie and Bubba Lou</span> </td></tr>
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As my fur baby Jack approaches his first birthday, it makes me think back and reminisce about Bubba Lou and Roxie, my first fur babies that I had before the hubster and I had started dating. I do have them to thank for bringing us together thou!
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Along, long, long time ago when I had moved out of Mama Pepper’s house into my own, my dad got me a puppy!! Isn’t that what every new home owner needs?? A puppy to pee on the freshly laid carpet, chew on the freshly painted walls, why yes of course!! Roxie was a 3 month old Rottweiler, looking ever so fashionable in her diamond stud hot pink collar <em>(pink ...shocking I know</em>)!! About a month after I had Roxie another pup showed up at the house, a skinny, starving pup that would come and play with Roxie, cuddle with me and follow us around the neighborhood, never leaving my side. He would knock on the door with his paw, like a little kid to announce he was here and ready to play, and he never left! So then there were two, and we (me and Roxie) name him “Bubba Lou”. It was obvious that he had not only been starved, but beaten, because a slight raise in your voice he would flip over and shake and pee all over!!! Yes just what every new homeowner needs is not one but two puppies, and one that pees when he gets scared!! <br />
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I learned quickly that having puppies …….was a big and expensive job! And that having 2 puppies meant I had an even a bigger and more expensive mess!! I was a college student, working at the local sports bar on the weekends and a mom of 2 growing pups…… who created mischief and mayhem on a daily basis!! Coming home to the house newly decorated in pillow stuffing, toilet paper, shoes and anything else they could manage to find!! <br />
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I came home to red lipstick that had been chewed up on my light gray carpet!! OH MY GOD I screamed as I walked in the door ….and well there went Bubba Lou…… so now I had not only red stained carpet but it was now soaked in pee……. calling the carpet cleaners, and spending my tip money for that night I now had nice clean carpets again. Well until the next night when I came home from work to discover that they had eaten the ink cartridge outta my printer all over the nice clean carpets …………OH MY GOD ………here we go again!! After the carpet guys left yet again I decided I needed to do something …….so I found a doggie sitter while I worked!! <br />
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I had a really sweet neighbor that lived outback, she had a little girl and lived with a man that I grew up with his kids, and he helped her out. She loved the dogs and was wonderful with them, would take them out on walks, bring them treats, and then...a few moths into this arrangement I started noticing she was borrowing my clothes …like I’d come home and notice her outside and think hummm that looks like my shirt, dress, purse etc. !! The straw that broke the camel’s back was coming home to her sitting at my makeup table, doing her makeup, curling her hair and wearing my clothes …….I stood at my bedroom door in pure shock as she spun around and said “oh I hope you don’t mind, I had nothing to wear and Howard is picking me up to go shopping” My mouth hit the floor as I said “Howard …as in Howard ..my dad??” WTF?? Yea…”Howard” and I had to have a chat …there is a golden rule all fathers should know……… you don’t date someone YOUNGER than your own kids!!!! After that awkward encounter , I took my key back from the psycho dog sitter, along with my clothes and I needed a new plan!! <br />
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One night the dynamic duo jumped out of my picture window!! They didn’t mean to do it , they were obviously excited about whatever was lurking outside and jumped up against the window, how would they realize that they were now both over 100 pounds and the window would come crashing down?? <br />
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Oh yes, the joys of having 2 pups!! Stocking the (pre) hubster, whose brother happen to also work with me at the Sports Bar, I called in a panic that he needed to come fix my window – the dogs jumped out of it!!! He did construction there (and other places) at the time, and so lucky for me here was there!! He came over with that sexy tool belt, some plywood and patch it up!! Then the next day returned to put in the window!! I think he is convinced that I pushed the window out …….just so he’d show up to be my night and shining amour!! He then came back and put up a fence for me, to help contain my wild beasts!! I remember sitting there on the back steps with (pre) hubster, trying to pay him for putting the fence up and he wouldn’t take it ….I replied with “You better take it now, because when I marry you, I won’t pay you to do things around the house!”, then I asked him to be my date to a wedding and the rest is history- we’ve been together ever since! Poor guy , if he only knew his fate ......back in 1997, he may have taken that sexy tool belt and ran the other way! <br />
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He continued to be my night and shining amour coming to the aid of my distress signals, bringing pliers in the middle of the night to retrieve what was left of the rat’s head from the vent, as it tried to escape the hunt of the pups and …..well lost!!! EWWWW.........now that was gross!! You know your man is a keeper when he gets outta bed, drives all the way over to crazy dog -lady's house with that sexy tool belt and removes the rat head and body from a vent!<br />
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Pre- hubster should have known he was doomed, when I introduced myself to his parents at the bar before we even started dating as “Hi, I’m Pepper – I’ll be your server tonight and your daughter in law someday when I marry your son”! His mother replied with a big grin and just said “I hope you do”. <br />
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See…….what I mean Bubba Lou and Roxie helped bring us together!! We had many, many adventures with the kids, and even more when PC was born as they lived to the ripe old age of 15! Which is amazing when you think about it for big dogs! Once the hubster and I moved in together they became “outside dogs” since they were huge lap dogs (120+ and 140+ lbs) ….. and we lived in a tiny house! I cried the first few nights, and thought it was so mean of him to make them be outside, but then I realized that they loved it, and hey the house was a hell of a lot cleaner!! <br />
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Bubba Lou, even after being by my side for 15 years never got over the whole flipping and peeing thing when he was scared, but he did get over being starved as he rounded out at a plump 140 + pounds!! PC was 6 when Roxie passed in her sleep and Bubba Lou followed about 4 months later with a broken heart, which is what I was then left with. <br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: blue;">Bubba Lou Me and Roxie 2000</span> </td></tr>
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I never imaged finding myself with another “set” of dogs that I could adore (even with all the mayhem they would cause) as much as I did Bubba Lou and Roxie, but I have to say that after being dog-less for 7 years, I have once again found that unconditional love and joy you get from a dog, that wag of a tail, just because you came around the corner, and that happy to see you grin with my Jack and Jill! Who knows maybe it's Bubba and Roxie back home again in smaller bodies this time...so they can be inside and be once again spoiled dogs!! <br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: blue;">Jack , Me and Jill 2014</span> </td></tr>
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Really the only people that will understand this……. are that of a true dog lover! All others may just think I am that crazy dog lady ….which ….yea there’s that to!! Now if you'll excuse me............ I have a wet Jack to go dry off!!<br />
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Happy 1st Birthday my fur baby Jack! May you have many butts to sniff and bones to chew! Pepperhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15820871786854131190noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-673996306551660371.post-19031074930748870292014-07-26T08:10:00.000-04:002014-07-26T08:10:00.656-04:00Why Change Things...<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiHmEamg0ioctPoeva214rNWeIBbEdulrlPnjWahq0DglA410Jybkd-TeBaGJqXALztm8WPpMFtDR37WwQocOHEPIrpjLc5EFbS0AItWTIpege0URSahe4RbD2pygsb_BgZXB17MXTqqs/s1600/rockofages-hairspray.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiHmEamg0ioctPoeva214rNWeIBbEdulrlPnjWahq0DglA410Jybkd-TeBaGJqXALztm8WPpMFtDR37WwQocOHEPIrpjLc5EFbS0AItWTIpege0URSahe4RbD2pygsb_BgZXB17MXTqqs/s1600/rockofages-hairspray.jpg" height="191" width="200" /></a>
I am not one that embraces change, I mean really if its going well why change it? If it ain't broke.....don't fix it?? I suppose it is good that things change or I would still be reaching for the RAVE hairspray and blow dryer in the morning and have really big Texan hair ( <em>and in case you didn't know........I love big hair</em>). With any luck maybe someday it will be back "in-style" ......much like everything making a comeback these days .........kinda like "tube tops" which really ......should have stayed hidden!! <br />
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So why am I suddenly doing things that require changing my ways? I'm not sure, maybe I'm trying to go with the flow, accept the things I can not change <em>(now I sound like an AA meeting</em>) and I am learning to embrace change. <span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Open Sans";">Or maybe it’s the fact that I will be 29 (+ 10+ 1) this year…….(<em>hopefully none of you are good at math and just gloss over the extra equation added in</em>) and I figure if not now ...then when? I have been doing things this year that push me outside of my comfort zone ALOT. One of my personal goals I set for myself this year was to work on public speaking. I didn’t write it down, I just had that little fact tumbling around in my head! Anyone that knows me….can tell you I am not at all shy – but the thought of standing up and presenting and speaking with all eyes on me….. AHHHHHH yeah that scares me!!! Even if I am picturing people naked …. <em>Yep- still nervous and now a little freaked out because really …not everyone is meant to be pictured naked!!!!</em> <o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHzYhN7Kh1Y-oNi0jjIGCVycCC5kJVklqcKpI623-fm1xTsNL435ou_CM3SVnbtQXrxVp02ZpagG79sIBVgEn_TAH4ZWT2qDVOjDfagT2CsGvDN81GY-FqBWDopA4JqUNAWzZTp7p1Js8/s1600/photo.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHzYhN7Kh1Y-oNi0jjIGCVycCC5kJVklqcKpI623-fm1xTsNL435ou_CM3SVnbtQXrxVp02ZpagG79sIBVgEn_TAH4ZWT2qDVOjDfagT2CsGvDN81GY-FqBWDopA4JqUNAWzZTp7p1Js8/s1600/photo.JPG" height="200" width="200" /></a>Changes ahead are rapidly approaching as my work life will be topsy turvy, with bossman retiring soon.....according to his countdown app he has 84 days left! I love that I have a bossman that lets me be me, he lets me show my "delightful (hahahahaha) and colorful" personality ...and by colorful I mean my whole friggen work area is PINK, HIGH HEELS and PIGS!! He doesn't make me tone it down.......he actually adds to it! One year he even bought me a Christmas Pig Yard Ornament .....pretty sure he thought it would be in my own front yard ....nope - I had other plans. I busted that sucker open, named him Preston Pig and he became the office mascot, who BTW is very well know at work! After Christmas came and went bossman looked at me and said ....."<em>Preston can't stay it still looks like Christmas</em>" .....hummmmm so what I heard was "<em>Preston COULD stay if he didn't look like Christmas</em>" ...that was 2 Christmases ago, Preston Pig now has his own wardrobe cabinet and even his own "<em>Hog-a-day</em>" Card! It will be a sad day when bossman retires ~ and I hate it! But I am trying to embrace change, change is good right? Isn't that what they say? Seriously? I still think it sucks ass - but I guess after 35 years he deserves it. <br />
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On a whim, I entered an essay contest about becoming an Avery Brand (Office Products) Ambassador (spokes person), which in turn they would send me FREE (<em>who doesn't love free</em>) office products to sample, and presentation material that I would need to present to different groups, have a website and do social media post, etc. The contest runs until the end of June 2015 and the winner gets I believe $5000 cash - heck yeah!!! Sounded like a great idea when I signed up.....and I viewed it as another way to work on my public speaking skills...(<em>not to mention I could by alotta shoes with that kind of cash</em>). When I got the letter that I was selected .....I was excited ....and then.......I thought "<em>Oh shit ...what did I get myself into now</em>"? Which has pretty much been my response to a lot of things I have done lately!! Like my new party adventure as a <a href="http://pepsbubble.blogspot.com/2014/07/ready-to-party.html" target="_blank">Pure Romance Consultant</a>! I am super excited (<em>and not just because I get boxes of .....errrrr .......toys .and stuff.............in the mail ~ however that is a bonus</em>) but because this is a new, (<em>yet VERY scary</em> ) adventure ~ where once again I am outside my comfort zone- pushing my limits! I have found that the other reps not only in the area but all around are like a new found sisterhood ~ everyone is so supportive and helpful (amazing when you think about it ...... it's all women and no one is clobbering someone over the head with their shoe). <br />
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Taking the plunge is the only way I will discover new things and I think this could be an amazing new chapter to add to my 29 (+10+1) years. And if I don't try it ..how would I ever know what will happen?? So here's to embracing change......and all the WTF's that are coming my way <em>(including that big +1 that is rapidly approaching in November)!</em> <br />
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Pepperhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15820871786854131190noreply@blogger.com0