Ramblings and such

Why is it everyone else in this house can sleep but me??? I am on my 3rd night of not being able to sleep! I have the hubster snoring like a mac truck in the living room, no he hasn't been banned to the couch because of his snoring ~  he chooses to sleep on the couch~ instead of our king size bed! That's okay it leaves more room for me and Tweety Bird....my cat....who has to be pressed right against me! Yes because clearly there is not enough room on the bed that he could scoot over!! Then I have Rigby the Golden Kitty, who thinks midnight is a fan-freaken-tastic time to start playing with the vertical blinds in the bedroom!!! Hubster usually can tell in the morning when he's been a bad kitty....since he finds half the pillows ~from his side of the bed of course~ not like he is using them ~ all over the floor in our bedroom! I usually fling 2 or 3 pillows  to get my point across to knock that shit off before Rigby gets it! But he is a cat....so you know they really don't give a shit what you think!

On to the next strange sound...oh yea that would be PC he talks...often in his sleep! A few minutes ago it was some non-sense babbling about magical ice cream??? He also sits up and will yell "Mom, mom , mom come here"  I go in and there he sits eyes wide open pointing at whatever thing he sees (I see the floor with his dirty clothes next to ...not in............. the hamper) and he will start talking with his eyes wide open ....I've learned over the years to just say "okay and yep I see it"........give a nudge to his forehead to push him back down and off to slumber land he goes....while I am now awake!! He also sleep walks.... yep found him one time in the hubsters office pants down ready to take aim in the chair....luckily for the hubster I turned him around and got him to the bathroom.......just in time!

At least since I haven't been able to sleep , I have been somewhat productive.....cleaning up (not really out) my closet, I got a tad side tracked ~ oh something shiney~ and started going through 6 boxes of photos!!
Seriously for someone creatively crafty like myself ( man ~ nothen like tooting my own horn eh?) I truly suck when it comes to putting together photo albums!! And I learned that I doubly suck at writing any ones name on the photo because I guess at the time I knew who the hell these peeps were ....whelp guess what I don't remember who they are now or when and where the picture was taken!!

Especially love all the school pictures from peeps I went to school with and reading the little note from them....the same damn people you cant figure out who the hell they are or if you were really friends with them?Because surely if you were friends then there name would ring some kinda bell right??? Or did they just hand out there school pix to anyone who would take it?? Yep some of the ones I have sure do look to fit that profile...well that or they could be a serial killer they kinda had that look to them to!!! Hummm wonder if I'd see or remember them at my 20 year reunion this summer!! I seriously must have been a freaken genius....to be having a 20 year high school reunion when I am only 29!!! So I guess I graduated at 9!! Yep that must be where PC gets his smarts....his genius mother!!!
 I will be weeding out the photos...and purging all the ones that I have no idea who they are or the ones  I hate and cringe when I see them ~ because when I die (hopefully not for awhile) but when I do and peeps start rummaging through all my crap to find photos of me ~ they will not be sharing those at my funeral!!! No freaken way!!! I need to delete all these on the computer to -- because it's not like we have had a roll of film in a camera for years~ who even knows what the hell a roll of film is anymore! Certainly not PC - he didn't even know what a freaken ice cube tray was....NOPE not joking! He was fascinated until he realized that if you take all the ice out and put it back in the freezer it does not magically refill itself!!! Hummm imagen that!!

In my process of cleaning up my closet...I came to the conclusion I may also  be border line shoe hoarder....and that for a chick who lives in Florida, I need to travel more because I have 19 pairs of just BOOTS!! Yep - this girl loves her some shoes!!!! I think after finding ones in the other room..... I am tipping the shoe scale at 97 pairs...and I am sure I wear every pair!!!

Off to bed I go....will I sleep who the FFFFFFFFFFFF knows!!!

It's All Relevant

Finally PC is wearing the new sneakers, and......... well he is wearing the "teal " shirt to bed and on the weekends ~ Really only because I tell him the "brown" ones are not clean yet.......but as I am often told...."Progress is Progress"........ughhhhh  I agree but it's right up there with "This To Shall Pass"  and it  still makes me want to get the skillet out and smack someone upside their head!!!

Today a letter came in the mail addressed to me regarding PC's tuition for next year, luckily we are still able to get a scholarship ( guess that's my silver lining to his issues) and then we qualify for the "school sliding scale scholarship" (Thank you Jesus~ I can still go shoe shopping). So that's all good news right?? Yep that it is...however while reading I noticed that the 1st page addressed to me to tell me my portion of tuition would be $3,000 for the school year! That is fan-freaking-tastic! Yep it's $3000 for TYLER ......Who the fudge-noodles is Tyler (last name is inserted also) on page 2 it's the breakdown of tuition and payment details and my portion for PC (correctly named on page 2) is $3750!! Hummm looks to me like I'd much rather be paying Tyler's tuition payment!! And I'm suppose to sign the letter and send it back ~ I think I should sign page 1 cross out Tyler's name and insert PC's name!!!

Speaking of shoes.....(really we were speaking of shoes...see above about the sneakers and the mention of shoe shopping and tuition...yep it's all relevant) .......... now then....back to shoes.......how could I NOT take these home with me when we went shopping last week ?? I mean HELL-O....they were literally shouting my name..... and my favorite color!!!! And they were on sale ......that did it ~ it was my destiny to bring these new boots home with me!!!
 "Pink & Pepper"  are you kidding me??? OMG I seriously should be getting a cut of the profit on this business adventure - someone used my favorite color and love love love of all shoes and created a name brand without even consulting me!!!

There was no stopping me after that purchase because the next store it was Sale -o-rama and Boot-mania!!! So I couldn't leave these at the store either......I mean HELL-O~ they practically pay you to leave the store with them!!

 My breakdown
4 pairs of boots $390.00 retail value
Total paid....     $  74.00
AND they gave me $20 Kohl's bucks and $30 Bealls bucks!!! So really it was almost like getting the boots for $24.00!!!

Okay so that could be stretching  it a tad and I never said I was a math wizard ....... but it's still some damn good retail therapy shopping if you ask me!!!!

2 Steps Forward

I am really such a smart mama! Maybe I am even a little physic (or psycho)!  Remember my vision of PC having a bon fire with his brown shirts engulfed in flames and then him yelling NOOOOO I want those brown shirts I changed my mind!!! Well this morning as he got dressed in his lovely new TEAL shirt looking all handsome and fresh and new! Then he went in his room and came back out looking all..... BROWN and UPS DELIVERY MAN LOOKING!!! WTF- we were making such progress....I held my tongue...okay well kinda.... as I said "Good thing we didn't have a bon fire like you wanted to with those shirts!!!"

Onward and upward...............next phase off getting ready for school, comes the socks.
Check okay ....not check....oh yes there we go we have them on again...gotta make them seams line up just right~ And on a good day we don't grab the scissors and cut holes in them!!!

Next up shoes....brand new fresh white sneakers! Much better than the ratty black ones that he is wearing now. He stops his bike like Fred Flintstones stops the car with his feet - silly for the bike maker to waste all that time and energy on making BRAKES for his bike when apparently dragging his sneakers across the ground does the same damn thing! So on goes the new sneakers and then ...........the brakes get put on!(See told you sneakers = brakes )

PC: "Are you sure these are the same shoes I tried on at the store?"
ME: "Yep they sure are"
PC: "Are you sure? They don't fit. I don't think you got the right pair"
ME: ..... screaming in my head..........SERIOUSLY?? You've got to be freaking kidding me!!! Why in the hell would I swap out the sneakers!!! AHHHHHHHHH!!!
ME: ~ I grab his ratty black pair put them on the table and say quite calmly I might add " Here put these on ...it's amazing that your feet could have grown in 24 hours so now the new shoes don't fit" and screaming in my head "but these ratty ass shoes fit AH-FREAKING-MAZING!!!!!"

Thinking I should take dance lessons so that way I know how to do the 2 step! I feel like everyday we are doing 2 steps forward 3 steps back!!! At least this way I wouldn't look like a frog in the blender while we do this song and dance daily!!!

It's not BROWN

It's been a busy week ~  and we have had a lot of break through this week! First off after arguing with my little Prince about him NOT studying for the big science test he was having and arguing with him that "YES you need to study longer then 5 minutes or they wouldn't send this packet home for you to study"  And "No you don't know it after only glancing at the paper for 5 mins" that PC may have some type of photographic memory!
Being me, and having to prove to him that he did not know this science crap ( not that I would know this science crap ~ even if I did study) I snatched the paper from him to quiz him on these vocabulary words....well he handed me my ass on a silver plate! That boy knew every freaken definition to every freaking word!! And even had to tell me that I was pronouncing some of them wrong! Needless to say he ended up getting a 100% and not only a 100% but the highest grade in the class,  I asked how he knew that and he told me that the top 4 kids went to the principles office for a treat so he asked what their scores were...and well no one was 100% like he was!
Kinda makes me wonder if I wrote down his chores and other things I tell him to do 400 times a day  and posted them everywhere....that it would sink in and he'd remember to pick up his dirty clothes and put them INTO the hamper they are sitting next too?? Or when you take the last waffle out of the box in the freezer to TAKE the BOX OUT and toss it!!When we are going somewhere to get your shoes on, this way when we arrive at our destination you don't look down and say...did you bring my shoes??
At PC's  new school they earn "Goal Days" if your grades are a B and above then you earn the day off, while the rest of the kids go and finish make up work and get extra help. We got a letter in the mail that PC was behind in his Language Arts class , and would have to stay after on Wednesday's and Thursday to make up missing assignments, or he would not earn Friday as a goal day. Sounds simple and like a no brainer eh? Stay after for 2 hours and get a whole day off?? Hell yeah! I'd do it! NOPE - PC wasn't stayen after and wasn't going to school on Friday ew\ither because "That battle axe (aka his teacher)  lost his work and he wasn't going to re do it" UGHHH let me bang my head into a wall now and save some time!! Lucky for me the hubster must have talked some sense into that boy  ~ really I cant even write that without a giggle....we all know it should say "bribed" that boy and he ended up staying after on both Wednesday and Thursday with the old battle axe and earned his 1st Goal Day!
Then today was another huge break through.... we went shopping!He actually wanted to go shopping! He wanted to go shopping for clothes!! And not brown ones!!!!  I can see the unicorns an rainbows now as I am seeing my little Prince Charming in a nice TEAL BLUE shirt instead of that FREAKEN BROWN wanna be the UPS man shirt!! This is huge I have not seen him in anything but that brown shirt since Xmass!!! He picked out 2 teal ( yes same teal but different designs) on the back and a white t-shirt!He even said I'm so happy to be out of the brown shirt...can we burn them???OMG~ OMFG~ OMG~ While I was screaming in my head  YES~ YES ~  YES lets have a huge friggen bon fire out back and burn those brown shirts of yours....I reframed because all good things come to an end! I can see it now.............as the flames are high as the house he'd change his mind and then decide he hates his new teal shirts and want those brown ones back!!! But at least we have a new color!! And he actually picked out new sneakers and everything! Then when we went to Target he asked for new deodorant, new toothpaste, body wash and mouthwash! He told me in the car - it was going to be a whole new him!
 WTF who is this child and............can I keep him??  

No Awards Coming My Way

Well I was right ~ the hubster did make a promise so that PC would get a haircut! Lucky for me it wasn't a plot to kill me or a promise of a new car so PC could run me down! No it was for the hubster to put " Minecraft" on his computer so they could play together, oh and he also wanted it on my computer but the hubster knew better and decided that probley was not going to happen.  So now they can sit in 2 seperate rooms, both on their computer and yell back and forth about what they are doing! Fan-Freaken- Tastic ~ now they both can go on and on about "This One Time In Minecraft" ..... but he did get  a haircut......not that you can tell, it was a trim....not even a noticeable trim!

Not winning any "Mother of the Year" awards this weekend ~ not even in the running! The hubster won a "Adventure Time House Party" Adventure Time is yet another ridlouous show that he likes! Anyways when the hubster opened his email to a winning the party link he had 10 minutes to put in the date, time and 10 emails to win. Which he did, which I forgot and apperanetly so did the 10 people that he put in the emails for. Did I mention that he made the party time 3pm..............on a Saturday? The box arrived with all the goodies to hand out at the party and a "New Epsoide not yet aired" ~ you are suppose to watch it at the party and provide pictures and feedback!

 I get home from work at noon-ish on Saturday and the house is nice and clean.  PC has the balloons blown up, and on the phone with his buddy and says "Hey Mom - Will wants to know what he can bring to the Party?"  I look at him and say ...um I not really sure we are having a "real party" not sure anyone is actually coming we kinda forgot! But tell him to bring what ever and we'll get pizza and watch the show".

Needless to say the look on his face of total shock and sadness that we would not be having a party about killed me! So I started back peddling and running around like a chicken with my head cut off! I start texting, calling and posting on Facebook to bring your child to my house at 3pm!!! I was able to round up a few people to attend. Thought about asking random people at the grocery store if they wanted to attend~ but than again I didn't want to seem like I was a crazy stalker lady!  I think he just wanted me to race around like a crazy lady and so we'd have lots of snacks in the house and pizza! I should have known that when he and his buddy were not very interested in the Adventure Time show they were there to watch, but more interested in there 3rd and 4th piece of pizza and running to his room to play MINECRAFT....that they had already watched it!!! One of the requirements for the party is for you to post pictures of the party....this is where and only where that Freaking Brown Shirt came in handy!! I photo shopped a picture of PC and his buddies that I took the day before they went back up north in to the party picture!AHHHHHHHHHH

You would think by pulling off a "Adventure Time Party" and having a few people show up at my house for a party and all the freaking snacks I ended up getting I would have redeemed myself and gotten some type of Mother of the Year Award! Or a Thank you! Nope sure did not!  By Sunday night he was storming off to bed at 7pm telling me that " I have ruined his life, his entire life" ~ WOW really all 11.5 years I have ruined? Really?? I've ruined his entire life???

So are you wondering exactly HOW I managed to ruin his ENTIRE life on Sunday night? Well here is the horrible thing I did....are you ready?? Brace yourself........... I opened the freezer and found that he had a huge mess of crumbs from the "Oreo Ice Cream Cake" left overs ( from the party that is) all over the bottom of the  freezer and the kitchen floor! The horrible thing I asked him to do.................."Get off the computer and clean it up" and no I did NOT make him lick it up off the floor with his tongue! I just asked him to clean it up!

He tossed a paper towel on the floor walking away with a " UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" and went into the bathroom and then his room.  So I wiped it up walked in to his room and VERY CALMLY I might add  and  said "Since you cant do what you are asked to do, then you will not be on the computer"  He argued back that he was going to clean it up but he had to go to the bathroom..... I replied still calmly "Well I guess you should have mentioned that BEFORE I cleaned up your mess and now you need to turn off the computer"

And well there you have it ..........That is how I have single handily RUINED HIS ENTIRE LIFE! Oh well he went to bed at 7pm and woke up at 7:30am, I just may have to ruin his life a little more often if he plans on going to bed at 7pm and I get to have a peaceful evening!

Gone Wild

REALLY?Do we have to show the public how to be idiots! Pretty sure there are enough in the world, that we don't have to had out huge trophy to say Good Job Jackass!
is a new TV show that started last night and of course PC and the Hubster were super exited to watch! Really it should be called "Stupid People Do Stupid Shit"! But no I guess that was the show they were watching when I got home " Dumbest Daredevil Part 2" which means there was a part one??? Do people really wake up and decide one day to put clothes pins on there face? And then kept adding them until you had....oh I dunno.......... 170 of them hanging from their face!OUCH WTF?? Yep...sounds like that would be a World Record for some dumb ass person!!! Or hey why don't I eat 20 flaming candles one at a time....in less than 2 minutes ...humm ............your choking on the melted wax in your throat SHOCKING really! Just wait til you hit the bathroom later ewwwww that won't be pleasant!
I just looked at the hubster and PC and said "Let's not try and of these tricks at home please"!!
Hubster:"We had a chat today and we are going shopping this weekend for some new shirts" (Hopefully not BROWN ones) "AND he is going to do his best to be good if you promise not to yell at him"
Me: " Hummm seems to me ....I wouldn't yell if he was BEING GOOD!!! " I mean HELLO really?
And this morning I get a call on my way to work ~
PC " Hey Mom can you see if you can get a haircut scheduled for me tomorrow? "
Me: "Who is this?"
PC: " Funny mom ~ call and see if I can get my haircut with Ms. Mel and have a good day."
Me: "Ummm okay who is this again?"
PC:" Bye Mom"
So here's the thing..... PC has not had his hair cut since JUNE yes JUNE of 2012....he hates haircuts, the last one he got in June he cried and cried after we left because it was too short! Yep that's what happens when you sit down and say " Give me a crew cut"  and frankly if he wants to look like Cousin It from the Adam's Family, or a long lost Beetle who the hell cares!  I have better battles to fight then thatb at the moment  ~ like I dunno getting him out of the freaking BROWN shirt! I am pretty sure I am going to be anti -brown anything pretty soon!!!
I'm positive that  hubster bribed PC for this whole going shopping, being good and now a haircut??? Humm what could he have offered?? A new car? His very own Visa? A new computer??Me to stop breathing?? I know a deal was made and  I know it'll be big....I have high hopes for the shopping and the hair cut and the being good.....BUT then again.........I haven't been drinking so I am not delusional  enough to believe it'll be all rainbows and unicorns this weekend ~ but I am hoping!

Booger Factory

Seriously, I am over 2013 already let's fast forward be done with it and I'll try my luck at 2014! Monday night I tried talking to PC because GASP............the next day was Tuesday.....and if you don't know what that means, then read this post to catchup "Crash Course".

I sat in his room hoping that the conversation would lead to ...I dunnno a freaking miracle and he'd see the light and be like "Yeah mom , lets try on some other clothes, I sooooo hate this brown shirt too that I've been wearing since Christmas, and I'm ready to be back to my old self and wear what ever the hell you have in my dresser! " Yeah I'd even be okay if he slipped in said the word hell at that point!
Nope no such luck, the conversation pretty much came to a crashing halt as  hit a brick wall, at full speed.
PC: "No I am not going to practice wearing other shirts,no I am not going to the doctors,  stop talking to me, I don't want to talk to you, leave me alone"  ~ Pretty sure he had this phrase set to loop because that's all he'd say.
I really was quite proud of myself that  I was still using the calm , rational mom voice and not the screaming lunatic mom that I am so often these days. I reminded him that we have our appointment with the OCD doctor tomorrow and REALLY  I did not want to sit there for hours on end, like last week when he wouldn't remove the freaking shoe for over 45 minutes!
Okay...okay ....lunatic mom is starting to rear her head...so ....SNAP, SNAP, SNAP, OUCH,OUCH,OUCH!
Hummm what is the snap, snap , snap you ask? Well everyday at work my mail comes bundles with orange rubber bands, that I now am wearing as a stylish fashion accessory and snapping the shit outta my wrist as soon as I am getting ready to SNAP and become the crazy luniac mom and I give myself a SNAP when I start to carry on about the FREAKING BROWN SHIRT......(this post explains)...SNAP SNAP SNAP!!!

In walks the hubster who gives his 2 cents, storms out and then does the unthinkable.....throws out the entire pan of freshly baked Brownies he had just made in the trash! WTF - I was waiting for those to cool jackass! UGHHHH

PC decides this conversation is over and he goes to bed at 7:30pm, with no brownies (for any of us)...other then the one he nabbed before we started our "chat".  I settle in on the couch and begin to absolutely dread going to his appointment the next day and can just imagine how utterly painful it will be.And actually start to envision ways to get out of the appointment because I know it'll be a disaster!!

Then it starts..... the sneezing, I can actually here the snot spraying boogers with each and every sneeze. EWWW  after a few minutes I walk back into his room, with tissue box in hand knowing that boys will be boys and they are too freaking lazy to actually go get a tissue and his lovely brown shirt would be booger coated. I know lovely visualize you have now right! So along with the sneezing comes the coughing........

WTF- great in the 30 minutes you laid here in trouble you become a sick booger factory! UGHHHHH I send him to the shower to de-boog and hope that the steamy shower will help with the mucus now he is coughing up. Because I know as soon as the hubster realizes what is happening it'll toss him right over the cliff (which he is half way over it now obviously..........he proved that theory........ since he tossed out freshly baked Brownies!!!). Here's the thing, he cant deal with the coughing when PC gets sick, he is much like his mother and has a fear of the little gem choking. He paces the floor, walking back and forth in front of PC's room,  has slept out in his car, gone to the office at midnight, slept outside on the lawn chair just to be able to get some shut eye.

Great just freaking fabulous....in walks hubster right on cue ..."What is he getting sick? That's just great!" ........Oh yes that's just what I was thinking......But Hey........at least now we wont have to visit the OCD doctor tomorrow and I have another whole week to try and and get him to at least pretend like he doesn't want to look like the UPS man and be in a freaking brown shirt anymore!

Penny Slots Here I Come

We had an afternoon of gambling today ~ and one thing is clear............I do not have my mama's luck when it comes to the slot machines or anything lotto related! She can put in a $20 dollar bill and spin it in to $1000's with a mere push of the button~ the lights start flashing and sirens go and everyone knows we have a winner there!!  Me ~ on the other hand I can put in a $20 and I might as well have flushed it down the toilet ~ because it's going.... going..... gone!!! Took the hubster with his fat wad of cash ~  yep gave him a "gangster" roll for his birthday a wad of $1's. He told me I should have put a $20 on the top of the $1's to make it look like it was more. Obviously he didn't know I was practicing flushing those down the toilet so I'd appear to be an expert at losing while we were at the casino.

Spending the afternoon at the Hard Rock  gives you a chance to see a whole new world....well if you can see through the thick fog of cigarette smoke that is! The wrinkle rumble fest of people pulling along their oxygen tanks, as they light the cigarette and claim their seat for the afternoon hoping to win the big jackpot! Well them and about 10,000 other people. I think maybe the flashing lights and the chimes and sirens send out  hypnotic suggestions like" Spend all your money. ..... Keep feeding this machine..... Come on one more $20............ Cant you feel it......... That's it hit the ATM". It's like a time warp in there, the time just slips away....well and so does you money!

We took a break from all the heavy gambling  ~ you know those penny slots work up an appetite, and went for a bite to eat. We decided on the Hard Rock cafe- they had burgers and sandwiches, so that'll work ~ I mean how much could that be! HAHAHAHAHA .....burgers for $15.00 really? Man oh man...good thing it's the hubster's birthday~ and good thing mama gave him a gift card.........and good thing it was for the Hard Rock!  So we have a table for 5, the hubster, his brother, sister in law and his buddy and me. I maybe a bit judgemental when it comes to being waited on ~ coming from a long line of waitresses and doing it for the majority of my life ~ I have certain expectations ~ like  when burgers are $15.00!

Let's just say that the "uniforms" that they have for the different restaurants and cocktail servers were clearly designed by a man.....who had never worked in a restaurant before!! Or he'd know that if the shorts are SO short that there is barely enough material to cover the butt cheeks then a "hairnet" may be required in the front! Good golly ~ all I could think was  I didn't want her as my server because I was certain the majority of the day was digging for gold to get the shorts (or lack of) out of her crack!! One extreme to the next if they aren't spilling out the bottom, are spilling out the front! Hello would you like a side nipple with those fries?? I'm all for working with what you got~ but let's leave something to the imagination! The men all had skin tight shirts on, prettier hair than any of the woman and could use a side of fries with the amount of SHAKE they had in their step

We had a little sticker shock when our $160- bill came and The service was not great - certainly not  $24 worth of an automatic gratuity that was added to our party of 6. WTF -
 ME: "Hey buddy do you always add gratuity to all tables? "
WAITER: looks at me and says "NO - parties of 6 or more"
 We look back and say "And just how many of us do you see? We are a party of 5"
WAITER: "Oh but you ordered an appetizer and the computer counts that an an extra person"

HUMMM ~ I'm guessing that the computer does that when the waiter types in under guest number  6~ so that the gratuity for his shitty service is automatically added in!!! Then I think he realized ~Oh shit ~ she didn't have anything to drink to help impair her thinking that this was a logical answer and piped in "Oh I can fix that ~ if you need me to"! Pretty sure there was an eye roll that he added with it !

I know we should have  made him change it, but I am also sure it would have taken FOREVER just like his service and food took  FOREVER! And after all we were there to win some money and have some fun! Which the hubster actually did, he's not spinning it in to $1000's of dollars like my mama is ~ but then again she's got years of practice on him! But he came home with more than he went with so that'll work!