Guilty As Charged

It’s true what they say, when you have a good child first you have another thinking it will be the same..… but when you have a bad child first ….you stop at one… PC is a prime example!! Not that he was necessarily  “bad” …he was errrr... difficult and busy…….busier than the other rug rats out there ~ that’s for sure!! PC was born bullheaded (he got that trait from the hubster and not me~ I am as flexible as a Twizzler) he did what he wanted and that was that! WELL …….. he is still like that … which is why we stopped at one!!!

In my next life I plan to be wiser, and listen to all the unsolicited advice I am given, and think things through …….before I go off halfcocked and do what I want to do and not listen to the wiser ones (hum maybe I am a tiny bit bullheaded) …No….…who do I go and listen to ???? I listen to the ones that say YES you should totally do that!!!  Current example….  get a 2^nd puppy! OMG – I am thinking that my sweet Jill is the devil dog in disguise and is now corrupting my sweet Jack because he is looking GUILTY lately!!!

Sweet little Jill, the shoe eating little bitch has managed to destroy my beautiful plants out in the back yard, and then looks up at you with that sweet little face like “What? I don’t know what happened”.  Jack …he looks guilty well that and I’ve seen him racing off with plants hanging out of his mouth as he runs around the back yard!

Now my sweet little girl, the shoe and plant eating little one has resorted to a life of crime…. She is now stealing and has an accomplice to help her destroy the evidence! What dog digs out of the yard ……..and returns?? Not only returns… but returns with items that do not belong to her ….. That would be Jill ….I checked out back to see what Jack was barking at, and I saw  his  tail a wagging as he had his head shoved under the fence ….I run over there yell for Jill and............. up pops a red and blue ball!!! As she wiggles her fat little body back through the hole she had freshly dug wagging her tail with that “What? “ face and  Jack races off with his new (stolen) treasure  as happy as can be!!!

I know the “right and mature” thing to do would have been to get the ball from Jack and toss it back over the fence, but I have never claimed to be mature!! Besides, if I took it now, Jill would have just gone back over to get it!! And the neighbor’s grandkids come like once a month and when they are there, they yell and scream, climb up on the fence, and get the dogs all barky barky!! So nope I let the “fur kids” keep the ball….like I said ……never claimed to be the mature one! Checking back on Jack and Jill, the evidence of them ever having a red and blue ball had disappeared … into about 100 foam pieces scattered throughout the yard …… Jack is Jill’s accomplice in her crime spree…….

So to the list of things my sweet little Jill and her accomplice Jack have eaten (this week) …….. you can now add the TV remote …. PC and hubster left the 2 angels unattended while they ran to the grocery store ( WTH??? Why they ever thought that was a good idea I will never know ~ they don’t behave when we are HOME and you left them on the honor system) and came home to a half-eaten remote …(and we were surprised at this???) Your kidding right??? Good thing hubster is a Mr. Fix It or we would have been stuck watching the “ Remote Guide Station” !!! Maybe they were trying to change it to animal planet!! Maybe I need to sign them up for  “Canine Delinquents”  I see they are offering a class this weekend at the SPCA….


And I am assuming at one point .. that the pups will realize that the growling and hissing from the cats .................DOES NOT  translate to ...... a "YES please come closer"!!

Mastering The Art of 2

Jack is quite smitten with his new baby sister!! And she has him wrapped right around her little paw!  When she barks he comes a running, she has mastered the art of collecting all of his toys, no matter what he is playing with....they will be hers ...all hers!!! (Insert evil puppy laugh here) So will his food, his bed, his blanket..... And anything else that Jack once had!! Yep -she's a girl alright and she already has the motto " What's mine is mine .... And what's yours is mine"

My little pookie Jill is quite the fashionista, she can rock a tutu, and has her own furry pink doggie boots - thank you to Mama Pepper for those!! Told you I have become one of "those people" - pretty sure
that is the cause of the hubster's throbbing vein in his forehead!! OMG - isn't she cute!!! 

My little cuddle bug is also an avid shoe lover!! Yes just like me!!! You know I love me a good pair of shoes or two .....or a hundred  and twenty two....only her love of shoes evolves eating them!!! OMG!!! WHAT??? Okay okay she is just a baby we will nip that little problem in the bud....

My little angel face.....did eat a pair of my flip flops last week, ( that was okay they were on their last leg anyways so I guess I will just need to go grab a pair) and I have rescued my pink sneakers and cheetah slippers from her chompers....on more then one occasion..... So we can no longer leave shoes under the table in the living room ..... Parenting is all about making  sacrifices right? So we will now keep our shoes out of the babies reach....

My little peanut face, has not fully mastered that art of house training .....(Jack picked that up much quicker).......she has had several accidents 8even after being outside) she's had them in the hallway, in my lap, in the hubster's jeep (OMG - I thought the throbbing forehead vein would explode on that one).... But hubster has taken that in stride and now refers to her as Piddles, trying to at least help the situation with her accidents I got her some potty pads!!  Yesterdays email  subject line  was " Piddles like the potty pads" ...humm not really what I had in mind when I bought those!! 

My little ...bitch!!! Today's email subject was " Your little girl is in BIGGGG trouble" as I  open the attachment, my cell is now ringing.... I answer it and open the attachment at the same time and SCREAM!!!! Hubster is on the other end of the phone and says " guess you got the email" ....and he was laughing....pretty sure hysterically laughing - Guess who has the throbbing forehead vein now!!! OMG!! I had these particular shoes in a bag by the front door, because I was going to have them reheeled at the mall.....I blame hubster, since I originally had them on the hook hanging up in the bag...... He has some aversion to me having everything hanging on the hooks by the front door( thats what they are there for right?? ) and hubs had cleaned it off, put the bag on the floor....

So yep there is my logic it's the hubster's fault that the little bitch ate 2 pairs of my favorite shoes!!!
 

Jill and I clearly need to have a come to Jesus meeting with a special portion devoted to NOT EATING MY (anyones) SHOES!!! It's a good thing she's so friggen cute because  the state of my shoes ......not so much!! 

And Then We Had 2

It is safe to say that I have NOT come to my senses … and they should have committed me when they had the chance!! I  now am a puppy mama to a Baby Girl “Jill”!!  OMG - just look at that face!!Yep ~  we have “Jack and Jill” and now I’d like to quit my job and just be home with my cuddle bugs!! And fill my days of playing, cuddling taking them out and about and watch those wagging joyful tails….. Obviously that can’t happen ~ but maybe if I win the lotto I could do that (note to self ...buy a friggen lotto ticket) ! And I could open a puppy day care and have puppies, puppies everywhere!!!

 Humm… …the cats would be plotting my death for sure then!!! Not that they aren’t already doing it…just look at that face… This is Tweety Bird ..either he is plotting my death for

1.       His name (that’s what happens when your 5 year old names the pets)

2.       Bringing home Jack …. And now he just realized that we have yet another dog ....who is sitting in his spot........ (did you know cats could glare?? )

I am amazed at how many things are geared to the dog lover (or crazy ass people who love their pets ~ ok.. ok.. ok …I am fitting into that category –rather quickly) things like posh pet boutiques, custom made doggie t-shirts (Pretty sure I will need one of those made up), doggie day cares, doggie water parks ~ so I guess like a Wet and Wild for

Dogs??  I am sure the doggies are much cuter in their bikini’s then most people do (OMG yes- they have bikinis for dogs)!!! They also have snow shoes (I found pink furry boots), jogging suits ( in pink), evening gowns…WTF?? 


They have shuttles to pick them up from home…….. REALLY??? I can’t even get PC in a carpool for  his school ~ but you’re telling me I could get my dog a lift to the “Doggie Day Care” ??  Doggie salons, mobile salons, dog beaches, dog parks..…and doggie Prozac and even Pet Psychics  … … I mean hello..... Really?? I am thinking of a career change something in the world of doggies ... maybe  a "Doggie Whisper" (because I have had plenty of practice being a "Jackass Whisper" hahahaha) ...maybe I could be a doggie consulantant ...... the list goes on and on with all the things we have these days for our critters!!

Jack is quite smitten with his new baby sister Jill (after we had a chat that there was no humping on the sister ... I think we are clear now... Baby Sister ...Not Hot Young Girlfriend....) Thanks to the big doggie gods above that they are both fixed!!! Or I really would be the crazy puppy lady!!! The vet thinks she is a Border Collie Mix (just like Jack)- the adoption shelter had her listed as a Lab Mix  ...but who knows... and who cares... still wont be getten any DNA test done for either one!!!!  Gotta  get all my fur baby's off to bed - Jill has not learned Jack's magic  tricks of unlocking the crate ... she actually sleeps ALL NIGHT IN THE CRATE ...and Jack sleeps next to it with his paw on it!!! OMG- how cute is that!! Or he may just be tryen to figure out HOW to let her out!!!



 

2 Is Twice the Fun

Over a decade (well  Prince Charming is 12 ……going on 30 that is) I have been told “You should have 2 …it’s so much easier with 2….oh if only you had 2” “ If you had 2 they would do this……if you have 2 they would do that……..oh only if you had 2 “ Children that is! I should have had 2 children, because apparently it’s so much easier when you have 2! So I am now taking that in to consideration, after a decade of people drilling that little fact into my brain I am now thinking ….yes maybe I should have another! Maybe 2 would be easier after all would be best buds! And they would entertain each other, keep each other company and I think it should be a girl. I think my boy needs a baby sister! Oh yes, yes, yes  I am seeing PINK …PINK …PINK …


I have enough testosterone in the house with all the males that reside here ….…. let’s see we have the hubster, PC, Tweety & Rigby the cats, Buddy the Guinea Pig and of course my baby….” Jack” the dog! In the female category we have Me and Pee-Tree the cat (its a toss up on who should be wearing the crown that's for sure) …that makes it 6 males and 2 females?? Like I said way too much testosterone flowing in this household


So yes, I decided that a baby girl is what we need, I think my boy would love a baby sister to snuggle with, play with, wrestle with, sniff butts with ……..you know all those things that DOGS do with each other! WHAT?? You seriously weren’t thinking that I WOULD have another human child!!! What are you NUTS?? No No No don’t be ridiculous…my boy Jack would love to have a new baby sister …and we shall call her Jill! Then we can have Jack and Jill (who no doubt will be sporting a pink collar, pink leash, pink harass and of course a pink tutu would be needed …… all the things a little girl would need and well yes they would need to be …..PINK).

Nag-a-thon

Really?? Yes Really?? It took us 5 days to get our Christmas stuff down and put away…..The hubster and I are well known for having our Christmas décor down put away, boxed up , outta here ….tree is usually at the curb by 2pm on yes that very same day. For the past 15 years that has been our tradition, last year I let it slide and did it the very next day Dec. 26th .. okay so that wasn’t so bad…. BUT this year OMG – 5 days?? Every call I got or person I saw would say “Oh I know you already have your stuff down and put away! You always are so fast to get it done!” ...... ME: “Errrr..um… ..well no not yet”. And then you hear the GASP  …”But you ALWAYS have it down on Christmas!!”

Whelp not this year!!! 5 days of me….. as the hubster likes to say …. “NAGGING” yes 5 days of “Nagging” about getting the bins down to get Christmas packed up and put away…… so yesterday I guess I finally wore him down ( or maybe he noticed I was developing an eye twitch with each and every passing day). He then so foolishly said “There this should stop all your nagging” REALLY? You silly silly hubster – do you actually think that will stop me dead in my tracks??? Um no … but at least you give me something to write about!! Gotta love when he provides me with ammo… oh I mean material to blog about! Not that I don't have tons of random thoughts that plow through my head on a daily basis ... I just don't have time to get them down and out before the next thought occurs...... but maybe that'll change I ended up getting 5 journals between my birthday in November and Christmas!!! I could store one every where and always have a spot to jot stuff down!

Who would have thought that when I googled “Nagging Wife” to get a funny picture that so many images would appear (thankfully mine was not one of them )!!! Really this must be an epidemic – so dear hubster it’s not just you that has to suffer with the “nagging wife”! So this got me thinking while I walked little Jack this morning at 6:30am – the same dog that P.C. promised with every bit of his soul that HE would be WALKING ….Morning, Noon and Night …. Yeah that hasn’t happened ……it’s like pulling teeth to make him go with me to WALK HIS DOG!!! At this point I am so attached to Jack that I think I would return P.C. to the shelter and keep the dog!! After all he is always happy to see me!!

Anywhooooo …. I started thinking about “New Year Resolutions” ~ you know with New Year hovering over us, starting 2014 fresh and leaving 2013 in the dust. What should my resolutions actually be? And would I actually keep them? Hummm …let’s see maybe I could modify them to fit my needs so that they would be attainable…

1. Stop nagging the hubster and PC (unless it serves a purpose i.e. getting decorations put away in a timely manner, getting P.C. out of the shower before there is no water left in the county, yelling at P.C. to pick up his dirty clothes, clean the genie pigs cage because it stinks, walk the dog…. )

2. Get my craft table cleaned up and organized ( unless I am in the middle of a project – then the craft table is a work in progress)

3. Shop less and work with what I have in my closet (unless it’s a REALLY good sale that I can’t pass up and I have to have it … and of course using gift cards doesn’t count!) Somehow I don’t think this one will work for me … for long …

4. Eat healthier and plan meals and snacks to make it actually happen! (Over the past year I have discovered I hate grocery shopping as well as cooking ….humm guess I better get over that eh?)

5. Don’t gain weight (well it seemed like a better idea then saying “Lose weight” because I am trying to make goals I could keep… somewhat)

Well there you go, I am sure there are many, many more promises that I will think of that “should” be on the list but it’s a start for now .. … and that’s all I am looking for is a Fresh Start for 2014!

Happy New Year !!!