At 3:30am Prince Charming was standing in my doorway
PC: "Mom …mom.." my blurry eyed self looking at the clock and not seeing any flames bursting from his ass I am able to mutter a few words....
PC: "Where’s the flea comb?"
Me: "Huh? WHAT?? It’s 3:30am what the hell are you doing???"
PC: "I woke up and found a flea on PeeTree" (the cat)
Me: "Get your ass back to bed- its 3:30am! If she has a flea we will get it tomorrow" then I mumble grumble some more and roll over... thinking that obviously he would return back to bed as he was told....yeah right who am I kidding???
PC: “UGHHHh but I found a flea on her” …so he goes in the bathroom turns the light on, in the kitchen turns all the lights on and starts opening the cabinets and he is not a quite ninja that is for sure
So by now the dogs are all awake thinking clearly it must be morning … must be time to eat because we are all up and noisy!!!! And of course the only person NOT awake in the entire house as he is snoring away on the couch is the hubster ….
Me: “What are you doing??? It’s the middle of the night!!! I have no idea where a flea comb is we can look for it in the morning!!! Now get your ass back to bed”
PC: "NO I have to find the comb, remember when the cats got infested with fleas at the old house, and we had to shave them. All it takes is ONE flea!!" add dramatic hand shaking to prove his point. Okay so he can remember a bad summer of fleas 5 years ago...but can not remember to pick his dirty clothes up off the floor .....something I rage about every friggen day???
Me: "OMG go to bed, none of the animals have fleas- I’m sure it was dirt!!!! And besides you already said you got the flea! GO TO BED!!Before you wake dad"
PC: glancing at the couch where Hubster is still snoring away ..."Yeah right ...like he is gonna wake up" okay okay he's got me on that one
I made the fur-babies march back to bed, disappointed that they were not getting breakfast when obviously they should be getting fed .....after all everyone was up and ready for their day. Me being the crazed sleep deprived mom I am, ordered PC to go back to bed... and then I went back to bed........
Tap. tap, tap , click, click, click .... Rolling over I look once again blurry eyed at the clock 4:05am .....I fling the covers off, march into PC's room ..... demand he get off the computer and once again get his ass in that bed, I don't care if you fall asleep, just pretend!!!!
Clunk, clunk , clunk .......OMG are you kidding me??? 4:27am ...once again flinging the covers off me, storming into PC's room I snap "Would you stop just stop.....with all the freaking noise"
PC: "Huh? What noise" because clearly when you are wearing headphones, you cant hear that you are making such a racket by kicking the wooden armrest up and down on the futon!!!
OMG- and he wonders why he is an only child!!!