Make It A Double

Did you know it's possible to be suspended from school  AND be asked NOT to return all because you’re an ASS-MUNCH?? Yepper - we sure did find out that the hard way! I should have followed the clues when….. 
  1. They raised his tuition rate  for the upcoming year   
  2. After my "Teacher Conference" that was oh so delightful … know where they listed that he had a "Superior Attitude " and was "A know it All" and " Rude" oh...... and all time favorite "Stated that DAD wanted to see the teachers credentials".  
  3. Of course the "Fart Spray" incident didn't help things  
I thought we were back on track … clearly I need a new road map because …....Boy was I wrong, the hubster called me on Wednesday and said "I'm on my way to pick up your boy - he's been suspended for the rest of the week. He was causing a commotion"  WTF??? But in the 15 minutes it may have taken the hubster to get to school - it was "He is suspended for the rest of the year. ….. And we will send home his exams to take AT HOME" …..Oh and…. "We don’t want him back here unless you can guarantee that his attitude and behavior has changed" …..UMMMM and how do you think we are able to guarantee that he wont be an ass?? I mean hello?? I have been working on that for 13 years now .. Hasn’t happened yet!!! He is still an ass!!! 
 I still am unsure of WHAT exactly happened, according to PC all he did was "move a desk" ...the other kid(s) were actually "expelled"  and I guess the commotion was yelling, screaming and cussing … and PC moving the desk……Pretty sure "Your Suspended" and "We don’t want you back" are the same as being "Expelled" …...but what do I know? It all seemed to happen so fast that my head is still spinning. The only other call we ever had in 2 years was after the Fart Spray last week!! Could he really be that much of a jerk-wad to the teachers?? No need to shake your head and agree...I have no doubt that the answer is ...YES  he could!!! OMG!!!!
 Not that I am making light of this, I really am trying to keep calm and not choke the life out of him or the hubster - because I think he is being WAY TO NICE about it ….I really don’t want to be featured on the 6pm evening news…..and trust me when I say it hasn’t been easy, I'm mad, angry, frustrated , humiliated and simply pissed off at this kid!! Pretty sure the tears I have shed over the last few days and nights have actually been produced from the steam that has been coming outta my ears. How did this happen?? How did it come to this?? And a ton of WTF's sprinkled in.....
So here I am …….the proud parent of a child who made Magna Cum Laude the first grading period and was kicked out for being an ass-munch by the 2nd grading period. WTF?? Today I get an email from the school … that to make things easier on me (us) we have 2 choices  regarding PC taking his exams …..he can keep the grades that he currently has as his "Final Grades" or he can take the Exams which depending on the scores could HELP or HURT   his current final grade … .I braced myself ….thinking obviously if he was being such an ass-munch (my new favorite word) then his grades must be horrible, how can someone causing so much commotion pay attention and be getting good grades….obviously he is failing miserably …… 
Drum Roll Please  
Algebra B+ 
Language Arts A 
Geography C- 
Science C+ 
Fast Forward B 
TA C+ 
Journalism A 
Hummm….mind blowing eh? Ummmm,  I voted to keep those grades as his current final grade , because really  they are pretty good … I know I couldn’t pull an B+ outta my ass right now in Algebra … I was Googling  the how to video's to figure out his math homework last week!! And do I want to be screaming and yelling anymore then I already am doing right now with our situation about him doing these freaking exams at home!! Of course I have no intention on telling PC that he does not have to take them, I think I may even get a copy of them and make him take them anyways…...just for fun.  
The last 2 days I have signed him up to work with Mama Pepper  and helping her with things, I refuse to let him sit around and think he is on some friggen vacation …. Nope we will work him like  a dog. There is no computer, no video games, no cell phone ….for the entire SUMMER …..just chores, chores oh and more chores. And if I have to box up all those things so that the hubster wont cave … so be it … I have the boxes already to be pack and some duck tape to wrap it up and plop it in my next yard sale!! Maybe ever slap a sticker on his head (maybe both PC and Hubster if they don't straighten up)  - free with a purchase!!!
So now what?? So where do we go from here?? Where am I sending the ass-munch for 8th grade?? I have no friggen clue..... yet ….... 
 Where do I go from here?? Straight to the mini bar and grabbing the tequila ….Mama needs a double tall margarita its been a rough week!!!!  

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