So last weekend I went on a short girl's weekend away and went to my girlfriends in Texas! Yep that's right....no hubster and no PC, pretty sure the hubster was a tad worried I'd miss my RETURN flight home!
Well really I almost missed the flight there! I had a 6:30am flight to catch got to the airport with plenty of time, only had a over night bag so no need to check it! Then I get to security and the line came to a screeching halt, as they yelled at us over and over ( really felt like I was in kindergarten and not stayen in a straight line) geeezzz we get it already!!! Take your shoes off, laptops out of the bag in a separate bin, any liquids must be out and in the bin, everything outta your pockets....over and over and over they yelled this warning!! Tick tock - tick tock ....finally it's my turn, I do a double pat - nope I'm good nothing in my pockets to get the scanner ringing!! In I got, arms up ......the green light scans and the lady tells me to step out and wait here....WTF? What?? She has me spread my legs, hold out my arms, takes her wand and scans me again!!! ARE YOU KIDDEN?????? Then she presses on my shoulder and pushed and says "What's that?" HUH??? Uh my bra strap! That's when I hear it , as she sends me on my way to grab my stuff over the loud speaker they announce MY NAME and that it was the FINAL BOARDING!!! OMG!! WTF??? I grab my shit and run, good thing I do all those races and pretend to be in shape especially since my gate was of course the last freaking one in the freaking airport!!!!!! I come flying around the corner with shoes and hand as she is getting ready to close the gate, almost barf from running so lighting fast!!! "Wait, wait I was being fondled by security!!!"
Ahhhhhhhhhh finally on the plane, even got to sit in the front row ~ the guy said no at first he had to wait until everyone was on the plane, I informed him that yes indeed we were all here, as they were closing the gate on me!! On we go to Atalanta where I have a change plane. Things were pretty uneventful there, until I boarded the plane, took my seat which was way in the back near the window and then he arrived. The man in the next seat...or should I say the man who took up his seat and half of mine!!! Seriously, he puts the arm rest up, sits down all spread eagle and to make this so much more uncomfortable he stinks!!! Like eyes are watering stinks!!! Too close for comfort stinks!!! It was the stinky smell of cigarettes, sweat and just plain stinky!! The kid behind him was kicking his seat when he spun around and screamed at him and his mother to stop it! I nearly jumped outta my seat but I was pretty trapped and it was a full flight! So he proceeds to take out his blow up pillow, almost whacks me in the face as his big ol arms are flappen around to position it!! SERIOUSLY?? First security and now the stinky giant with a freaking pillow!!! I would say to myself...just breathe just breathe....but really ~ I'd need a gas mask if I started inhaling big deep breaths!!!
My flight home was rather uneventful, other then security telling me I had to remove my hoody....Guess its a damn good thing I have something on under my hoody eh??? I'm starting to think maybe I should just go through security naked! This time I picked a isle seat on the plane ~ other then the lady that whipped out her Clorox bottle of wipes and proceeded to wipe everything down before she sat on the other side of the isle it went pretty smooth! The germy lady did get a rather dirty look when her seat mate came and she got up to let her in ....and yep....started the whip down process again! .
So the good news is I made it home and wasn't detained by security or anything! And the boys had a great time with a boys weekend ~ which involved PC not removing his ass from the computer or video games!! Humm pretty much sounds like when I am home only with all the nagging!