This One Time

So Saturday I have plans to take the hubster out to for his birthday and PC as charming as he CAN be when he WANTS something ...is not invited! Actually the beauty of my idea is "No Kids Allowed"! Whoooooo where do I sign up for more places like that? Anyways we wont be gone but a few hours and it's mid day and my dilemma is......what do I do with PC?

He of course is balking at any ideas of him having to go somewhere other then having his ass planted in his computer chair! And really you'd think I had 4 heads if I even thought to utter the word babysitter.....as if....I mean seriously he is almost 12!! Sure we leave him alone for a hour here or there, he is almost 12 after all! And it's not like I am worried he'd burn the house down, or have wild party's or be looking for boobies on the Internet. No I know exactly what he'd be doing....all  he ever wants to do.......he'd play "Minecraft". While skyping with his other buddies who also have their ass planted in a chair when it's gourgeous outside!  It's always "Minecraft this, Minecraft that". Usually he will start his conversation with "This one time in Minecraft" and I totally hear ....."This One Time At Band Camp"!

I have not figured out the fascination with Minecraft yet, have you seen the graphics? Over the holidays at gamestop they had a "Minecraft Creeper Box" whatever the hell that is? Anyways it was a square box, with green blocks and cut out eyes...they wanted $20 bucks for it. The conversation went pretty much like this....
PC: That's so cool I have to have one
ME: Um NO -  not happening
PC: But I have to get it
ME: It's a cardboard box- we can stop by the post office and get one for free and I'll paint green squares on it and cut out eyes
PC: Ughhhh Mom  I'm serious
ME: Me too, it's a freaking card board box what the hell do you plan on doing with it?
PC: Duh...I'd wear it
ME: Yeah I can totally see that would happen!
PC: I would while I am mining
ME:  It's a cardboard box with eyes cut out of it....it's $20 bucks ....and  not happening! It's time to go!
SALES GIRL: But it's made with really steady cardboard and it's cool!

Pretty sure the look on my face is what made her decide she'd be much better off with helping someone else....anyone else...but me! Wise choice grasshopper!

I'm positive that if we left for several hours or days, the little Prince would not even realize we had left, well until he was hungry, humm not even sure if he'd notice then! Last week I came home to his buddy on my computer out here in the craft room and PC in his room and they were playing with each other in their Minecraft world??Are you kidden me?? Silly me I thought they could both hang out together in the 3-D world like...I dunno...............in the same room!!!

Jan. 31,2013

Crash Course

Well PC and I had our 2nd trip to the OCD doctor today. I had high hopes that we could walk in there and my little gem would get how ridiculous this is, that there is not just one freaking shirt in this whole freaking world that is comfortable  and poof....he'd be cured and I'd be doing the happy dance all the way home, and suck down a large Margarita to celebrate! And for the record NO- I had not been drinking all day at work to come to this delusion.................. but a girl can dream right?

Instead our visit pretty much went like this:
PC-  ughh do we have to be here? Ughhh I'm so bored
ME- Yes
PC- ughhh can I change the TV this show is sooo stuuuuuuppppiddd
ME- No you cant change the channel
PC: Why not
ME: - It's not yours to change and oh yeah............. Your not the only one here
PC- But it's soooooo stuuuuuppppiddddd

(For the record it's Mickey Mouses Playhouse - I've seen worse like the crap he wants to watch!)

ME- oh well
PC- decides he is not getting the correct answer from me so he turns to the girl at the check in window - Can I change the channel?
GIRL - NO .....and she shuts the window ( okay had to laugh at that with a mental "Thata girl- wish I had a window to close some days!)

Next phase we sit ....and we wait.... 25 minutes after our appointment time it's FINALLY our turn! Yep we walk the long hall as I envision the magical cure that will be sprinkled upon us and life will be all unicorns and rainbows!  And  I still maintain my earlier statement that  I have not been drinking today! But they are remodeling the offices at work on our floor so..maybe the fumes are getting to me?

So we chat , I get kicked out so they can talk , and I get to come back in. PC and the doctor have developed  a plan.....he is to change in and out of shirts for 5,10,20,30 ect....SECONDS...really?? WTF ?Seconds.he has to keep it on for seconds .............. what is that going to do?? I nod like I am getting what he is saying when all I really get is that OCD new issue is a real pain in my ass! I know....I know....it's not about me..... but still it really is a PITA!

So this is when it happened......
Next the Dr. says PC tells me that he takes a while to put on shoes and socks on - Do you agree mom?
ME: - YES - yes he does ,the socks have to be just perfect and now he has taken to CUTTING the BUMPS out of the socks!!

( Do you know what happens when you cut the BUMPS outta the socks??? Yep that's right now you have frigging holes in the socks! - Yeah that's gotta be comfortable!! ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh)

DR: - Well he is going to show me ....go on buddy take your shoe and sock off

OK- right there?? Did you hear it? No? Really that was the sound of screeching tires coming to a halt, that's where the magical cure flew out the door and with any luck landed on some other poor family desperately seeking it! Because we just had a major crash here! I should have called it a day and ran out the door!

PC: NO - I don't want to...............

So there it was the............. Challenge had been laid, the line had been drawn in the sand.........and then we had ourselves a old fashion gun fight, battle of the witts.

 Who would win? The Dr. who announced we would not be leaving this room, until he took the shoe off like he promised to do? Or the strong will child?? My money was on the child, I know he is ruthless and will not give in.... and there we sat, and sat and sat..... of course the Dr. did tell me not to worry that he would not charge me for an extra session ........... and we sat.......he told me that we had to break him of being in control.....and we sat............

FINALLY 45........... yes............ 45 FREAKING minutes later he FINALLY took off the FREAKING SHOE!!!

Well after the 30 seconds it took for that to happen and the 30 seconds it took to actually put the shoe back on...........we made our next appointment and I get to do it all over again NEXT TUESDAY!  OH JOY!

1/29/13

Blog Contest

My girlfriend sent me a link today to a Funny Mom Blog contest. I'm flattered that she is one the 9 people I think that read it. Pretty sure I am related to the others that read it! LOL  Not that I have any delusions I would get enough votes to even get in the double digits but thought what the hell it'll at least get me writing more! I think writing makes me saner...is that a word? Or do we need to add it to the collection of Pepper-ism I have. And who doesn't love a contest?

I started looking at all the submitted blogs from mom's all over blog land! I love how we are all striving for the same thing....to stay sane by writing! For anyone just looking to see what this blog is actually about, well it's kinda like "Seinfeld" it's my show about nothing really. If you don't know who "Seinfeld " is....well then it's time to catch up on some re-runs instead of all the other reality crap that's on TV!

Okay it's not about nothing, it is about everything and anything that may be happening in my world or going on in my head! It's my way of keeping out of the big house, I don't look good in orange, and I am pretty sure I would not survive being in jail.  I don't think they'd let me do my crafts or paint the cell pink or bedazzle my jumper!So yes, I write to bitch and moan and get it all out!  Oh yeah and I'd miss the ................cats, okay......... okay........... you got me the hubster too and some days like when he's sleeping I'd even miss PC!

I do have to say this was a better week, he actually made it to school everyday and we didn't have any calls to come get him. Well nit calls ....pretty sure hubster is getting about 50 text messages during PC's lunch period! He has discovered he can "talk and text" and boy oh boy....does he have a lot of nothing to say ~ humm guess he gets that from me!

Iron? What's That?

Another week has passed....and yes we are in the same brown shirt, oh and we had issues with the shorts this week too! I mean really why stop at shirts?? I had 5 pairs or clean folded shorts on PC's bed and what did he do??? He took the shorts out of the washer and put them on!! And then had a melt down all the way to school because the shorts were WET!!! Of course they are WET you just took them out of the washer!! Needless to \say the ride to school was not a great one! Not that it ever is...

And here is how our conversation went that night:
ME: SO ...what is now wrong with the 5 pairs of CLEAN shorts that you have been wearing that are clean on your bed????
PC: The pockets
ME: WHAT is wrong with the pockets?
PC: They are bunched up
ME: (insert eye starting to switch) And what does that mean exactly??
PC: Go get the shorts
ME: (both eyes twitching now) And you cant go get them them WHY???
PC: Never mind!
ME: (marching down the hall snatching the CLEAN 5 pairs of shorts off the bed and returning back to the living room and tossing them at PC) HERE ....now what is wrong with them???
PC: See the pockets! (As he points inside to the back pockets and they are wrinkled up)
ME: Really?? That's the issue! We can fix that! We can iron the pockets flat, that's all we have to do!
PC: What? No you cant! We don't own an iron!!!
ME: Of course we do! I just dont usually iron!!

So now as I start searching the house high and low looking for the iron, PC looks at me with that I told you so smirk on his face! Then the hubster comes home and inquiries as to what I am looking for.

Me: The iron
HUBSTER: Do you know what it looks like?
ME: Smart ass just find it!
HUBSTER: Why
ME: His pockets...we have to iron his pockets in his shorts that's what the problem was
HUBSTER: Do you know how to use it?

  ~~~ I am sure my comeback was very colorful, and I am sure I had many thoughts of HOW I  would be using it!!! SO we wont document the rest of that discussion.

All went well with the rest of the week and his shorts. And I even just got done with ironing the POCKETS of his shorts and have them already in his room. And I only have a mild eye twitch as I tell him his clothes are ready for school tomorrow!! And he replies with ....Yea- Whatever! UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Jan.20,2013

Heads or Tales?

Well last week we had some full fledged drama in our house hold! Missed the first 2 days back to school, because PC was having "shirt issues and melt downs" can you believe that there is NO shirt in all of St. Pete that he will deem comfortable and NOT ITCHY! The hubster went and bought him 3 more BROWN shirts so at least we are up to 4 Brown shirts that he will wear, but God help you if you put them in the dryer! We spent countless hours at countless stores trying on shirts for school! And a melt down was had by all....me , PC and the hubster. We could have had a coin toss on who was going to be committed, one or all of us still may need to be!

By Tuesday night, I had a note from the doctor to allow PC to wear his "comfy" clothes...... REALLY ? It looked like PC wrote the note himself - if I had not seen the doctor write it myself on his prescription pad, then that's what I would have thought!! So the doctor informs me that it's OCD and that's why PC has fixated on this shirt. So by Wednesday I had an appointment for a OCD specialist, and was surprised as PC actually talked to this doctor and even more surprised that he has other OCD tendency ~ and here I thought he was just an ass and that's why he did those things!

 The more he talked about his obsessions, the more I thought OMG- I totally see that in him. Then when the doctor was explaining to him we need to nip this now before "you are coming to see me in 10 or 20 years from now wearing the same brown shirt saying how you cant function in life,you cant attend any events which you would have to wear anything else, you  cant get a job all because they have stopped making this brown shirt that you like!"
 I admit I don't understand why this happens, what causes this to happen or how you fix it! But as he talked I  had a pity party all in my own head thinking....OMG- is PC going to be living at home for the rest of his life?? Still  wearing this same ***** (very colorful sentence enhancers can be inserted here) ***** Brown Shirt!!! I am surprised that the doctor could not hear the screams echoing in my head as I envisioned this! The meeting ended well, and he thinks that with several weeks ( thank god not years) worth of behavior therapy that he can reverse this. Is it possible? I'm not sure, but I sure hope so , if not I don't think the hubster and I will have to flip a coin.......we will surely commit ourselves in the loony bin if this goes on much longer!!

So I will TRY and remain positive and calm and sane...which really is such a loose term all on it's own, but still I will TRY! And I may have to chant my motto all in the process....I do not look good in prison orange"
January 14,2013

What's that smell???

Could we really be in a whole new year? Yes a new year with new adventures, new challenges and WTF new issues? Seriously? I have decided the next person to tell me "This Too Shall Pass" I may smack them...upside the head...with a iron cast skillet! Okay well not really....I don't have a iron cast skillet ~ so I will have to find something else to smack them with!

I had high hopes that 2013 would be a great start to a new year - that we would come out of the gates with a bang! Yep, I got my bang all right....I am banging my head against a brick wall most days with the little gem PC! So on Xmass eve he opened a new outfit from Grandma ~ great he was in desperate need of new clothes since he is growing like a weed! Even better he LOVED the new long sleeve brown t-shirt~ wonderful because you know it's getting cooler out ( lets not get crazy and say cold- we do live in Florida) and he has fought me tooth and nail NOT to wear long sleeves on cold days! So good glad you are loving the new brown shirt. Fast forward to Christmas morning....evening.... next day. Hummm................... PC - I get you like the new shirt but really time to take a bath and change into some clean clothes! Off to the shower he goes, ahhh YES success......ahh yes I smell the clean smell of shampoo.... kinda hard NOT to be able to smell it since he basically uses a whole freaken bottle of it ~ but hey at least he is using it! So out of the shower all fresh and clean........then I spot it......WHAT................the brown shirt.... the dirty 3 days old brown shirt is now BACK on his CLEAN body??? I can feel my eye twitch as I go in his room and ask him WHY do you have that back on???I have to wash it ~ it STINKS! You got all these new clothes for Christmas!! And what was the reply I get back....."but it's comfortable and nothing else fits...and they are all itchy"

Once I get the twitching eye under control and refrain myself from strangling him I walk away. Talk about great restraint there ~ but we know my motto "I do not look good in prison orange"! The next morning before I go to work , I run to Kohl's since they had early hours (love that) , I buy 3 more of the SAME brand, size,  brown shirt in 3 different colors (you know variety is the spice of life). I drop them back off at the house while he is in his slumber, race back out the door feeling all mother of the year award coming my way! I go to work and return home and what do I see....... WTF??Are you kidding me, it's like a bad dream!! WHY WHY WHY are you still in that dirty (pretty sure I added some colorful sentence enhancing words here) shirt????? I bought you all these shirts this morning, the same (more colorful words went here I am sure) brand, size , style as that one! And my reply from PC..." They are not the same .....and they are itchy!" OMG- are you kidding me??

 I could talk until I was as blue as a smurf, and would still not win! So I did the next best thing.....I put tape over the lock in his bathroom so when he got in the shower, I snuck in there snatched up the dirty brown 4 day old shirt and raced to the washer! Needless to say the drama was in full force as soon as he got OUT of the shower and realized it was gone! We are up to 2 as in ONE , TWO...shirts that he "deems" as comfortable and not itchy that he will wear! Not really sure what will happen when reality sinks in that tomorrow is Sunday...after Sunday comes Monday...a.k.a. the real world, back to school they go and he will need to be in his uniform...which I am sure will make Monday morning such a ***** wonderful time!!!!