Mice pops...

So there I am in PetSmart arguing with PC as he reads the sign" Snakes are good pets for kids 12 and older". "See , see mom it says right here their good pets for kids "! Well obviously my response is "Well your not 12 last I checked your only 8, so get back to me when you are! " And then the drama continued out in the car, how he wants a snake, he has the money in the bank to buy it , and blah blah blah. That was when I stopped listening to the endless whining about snakes! EWWW so not gonna happen!

Well I looked online on craig's list at snakes, while I was hoping foolishly that their were some that didn't eat critters. I came across an ad that said 'Friendly Corn Snake" as I opened it there was a picture of the corn snake mouth open and a tail and legs of the mouse sticken out! EWWWWW gross really is that necessary to show! The next picture was a lump in it's belly, which I am assuming was the mouse from the first picture, then lastly a picture of a liitle boy holding the so called "friendly rat snake" yea.....just ask that mouse "HOW" friendly was the snake!

Further reading I discovered you don't have to feed them live prey. You can feed them frozen mice. REALLY? EWWW I don't know which is worse...live mice or frozen mice. Frozen meaning it would be in my freezer. So can't you see it now, "Honey can you get the chicken outta the freezer? It's to the right in the bin  ,next to the "Mice pops" ! EWWWWW so not gonna happen!

When PC  was 5 the Hubster and him went out for the day, only to return with a bearded dragon! Oh boy won't that be fun! "Beardie" ate crickets that we had to get from the pet store. Well three months went by and I walked by PC's bedroom only to notice that "Beardie" wasn' t moving. I opened the cage to discover he was dead! I call the Hubster and found out that they caught a cricket outside and feed it to him! One of the big "No-No's" , and he told me to take it to the pet store and get a new one. YEA okay I'm gonna bring it with me......... the dead lizard? Seriously have you met me?? Nah........I toss it in the garbage can and head out to the pet store for "Beardie # 2". Explaining to the pet store guy,  I hold up my hand and point to the top of my middle finger to the palm of my hand and say " It's about this long" $80.00 later I'm out the door....your kidding right?? Hubster ...you paid $80 for a lizard??? next time catch one outside - that would have been so much easier to replace.....or maybe a fish .now would have been easier! Not to mention cheaper!

Off to the house to put the replacement in the cage and then head out to get PC from school (and I am totally rocking my imaginary cape and tiara for saving my little 8 year old boy from a broken heart and such despair .. yep that's me Supper Mom with a capital S M ) . Welp I was very pleased with myself, only to have PC come running in yelling" Mom ......Mom come look!" "Beardie grew an orange thing on his head and his tail is longer since this morning!" Now the hubster joins in the fun by saying "WOW buddy it looks like a totally different lizard doesn't it!"

Everyday after that PC checked to see what Beardie had new today! The things we do to save hearache at that age! Needless to say " Beardie 2" had some more adventures....but that's another day!

Shake It Girl!

Slacker and I have nicknamed a few people at the gym! “The Sexy Elliptical Lady” we don’t know her real name and that would spoil our fun, if we actually knew her! She arrives with hair and face in place, and sports a colorful running suit. She looks great however at a certain age I believe you should stop wearing saying's across your ass.( No matter how lovely the ass maybe there should be an age limit ..like 15!) I think at a certain size too , but that is a different topic altogether. Anyways she hops up on that Elliptical glider and shakes what her mama gave her! I mean really she could order fries with that shake! It is a bit much to watch , but she does her thing!

We have "Sweaty Guy" who works it like crazy, that and the sweat pours off him in buckets! I'm sure it's unsafe, all that dripping sweat could cause the machine to malfunction and start a eclectical fire! I'm sure of it!

"Boyfriend" as we call him is the cute personal trainer, and he works out with a hoodie, ipod and his eyes are closed! How do you keep your balance with that? Slacker tried for a nano second and almost flew off the machine! "Boyfriend" has a "Mini Me" , who he works out with. "Mini Me " dresses in the same hoodie and follows him around as they workout together. But I haven't seen him on the glider yet, so I don't know if his eyes are shut too!

Just another day at the gym!

8 going on 18

I can't believe Caleb is 8 today! While most days are longer then others and it feels he should be 18 already, then others days fly by! I didn't think we would make it to 8 and still be sane! But then what really is the definition of sane? And how many people do you actually know who are "sane" and not just pretending to be?

I have to say in 8 years of being a mom , I have learned alot! And I also have figured out a way to prevent teen pregnancies in the process! I have decided they should show those child birthing tapes they show in Lamaze class in school...the earlier the better ( now those scared me! ) ! Hell that would make anyone keep their legs closed! Those are disgusting! Just like the baby shows on the TLC The Learning Channel ( those should be pay per-view) . Some things are better left unseen!

Somethings I have learned are .......

*Little boys can pee anywhere, even in the car going 75 mph in an empty water bottle! ( Not something I taught him)

*They hear only what they want to hear....(I'm guessing this is all children and not some new discovery I have made) Like when he says "Can I have a Brownie?" and my reply is " Yes , AFTER you eat dinner." The only part he hears is "Yes" as he process to eat the brownie!

* Homework is torture....for the parents! I'm hoping to make it out of second grade!

*They are to smart for their own good! Like when Caleb googled " Riverwood Homework" thinking he would get the answers for his homework!

*Bugs, lizards, frogs, snakes , bones and owl throw up is fascinating for boys....although I still sherk like a girl....OH YEA I AM A GIRL!

*Bodily functions are apparently the funniest thing ever....to boys that is!

*If your in a hurry they take their sweet time! Like now ...........

Something else I am learning is ............

* They grow up way to quick!

Things I m still waiting to learn.......... patience! But who knows when or if that will ever come!

Happy Birthday Caleb! Let's make this year of being 8 exciting, exhilarating and eye popping! I'm sure I need to hold on before this year flys by too!

Now that's shoppen!

While I am no "Aunt Debbie" getting her groceries for .68 cents out the door, I have learned a few tricks of the trade my MIL thinks I should write about! In my neighborhood I am fortuante enough to be on a "coupon train" with serveral other women! How sad my life has become , when I'm excited to see a baggie full of coupons on the doorstep! But how exciting it is when I have $165.00 worth of stuff for $62.00!

My husband fears they will soon ban me from the drug stores! I have become the "Transfer Queen" transferring our presptions from 3 different drug stores! I get the $25.00 giftcard, search there ad and hit the sales! My last trip to Rite Aid, my total was $27.00 after using the remaining 4.00 on my GC and a $5 off $25.oo purchase and my coupons...I owed $6.74. When I returned to the car I notice they over charged by $3.74 so I got my money back and only had $3.00 invested in my trip and after I sent in my mail in rebate for $3.00 the trip was free!

The store I use doubles up to .99 cents everyday! How lucky is that! I take full advange of the instore rewards deal, the email offers they send, the instore coupons as well as the manufacturer coupons! They take them all! You just have to have a stockpile of coupons so you'll have what's on sale! Last week I ended up spending$9.94 and SAVED $48.55!

Yesterday I got the Magic Bullet , which I have been longing for but not at $100.00! I found it on sale at Kolh's for 38.88 and at Bed Bath and Beyond for 49.99! Well I had a coupon for 10.00 off of Bed and Bath , so I found out they priced matched! I got the Magic Bullet for 28.88! Now that' fun shopping! Always love to get a deal!

The best was driving by Home Depot I noticed they were throwing away FLOWERS! Flats and FLATS of FLOWERS! We pulled over and I asked if we could have them, and she told me we were on our own! So my dear hubby and adventous child went dumpster diving and we ended up with over $100.00 of FREE flowers! They just needed some TLC and now my front porch and back porch are in full bloom! If only the cat would stop eaten the pansies!

My tip......I never leave home without my coupon organzier , while it's not fashionable, it saves me tons! Stockpile several coupons, keep several coupons for different cleaners, they are always on sale at the drug stores! I use multiple coupons for items. If I am buying 4 boxes of cereal because they are on sale I use one coupon if I have it for each box, the if you buy 3 get $1.00 off and last week I had a instore coupon for $1.50 off 4 boxes! I got 4 boxes of cereal for $1.75!

Happy shopping! Keep your eyes open and ask for the deals! There are a million to one websites you can use! A great one is

http://www.southernsaver.com/ and http://www.couponmom.com/!

No painting allowed.....

My paint brush was revoked many, many years ago! When we first started dating John was helping me spruce up my house! He painted the walls, and trim in 2 rooms and when he was done I was STILL painting the fireplace. Okay so I have to admit I was using Q-tips and a tooth brush to really get in to the cracks! It was after all a brick firer place and I was accenting some bricks in a different color! That should have been his first clue to take the paint away from me but it really wasn’t for another few clever ideas of mine , that my paint brush was retired!

When we moved into our first place together we worked different shifts. So when I was bored I needed a creative outlet and I worked part time at a paint and décor store! Never did I leave that job with a paycheck! One time I sponged the walls and put a huge border up it looked marvelous! All while he was at work, that was my craft room! Then I ventured to other rooms adding my creative flare to anything that wasn’t moving! I stenciled floor to ceiling, upside down, sideways any which way I could a room full of Iris purple flowers! I even painted the furniture to match! But sadly when we bought our first house I was only in charge of picking paint colors and not painting them! Which is still my job, no painting involved! ( Pretty smart eh...no vacuuming, mowing or painting!)

He did make an acceptation , I painted our son’s room camouflage at our current house, although he would pop his head in and just shake it and walk away! Except Caleb would walk in to inform me that it looked like a jungle not camouflage! So I had to kick everyone out until I was ready to reveal the masterpiece! And if I do say so myself it looks FAB-U-LOUS! (They think so too....)

Paybacks.........

I have decided I am being paid back for being a child. One time when I was little my mom was talking to a friend on the bench at the park. So I took it upon myself, to hop on the city bus and wave while it pulled away from the curb! !She had to chase it down to get me off! Another time I was skating across the street , twirling my baton ( yes I was multi- talented) fell , broke my arm and a car ran over the top of my body, didn’t hit me thou, didn’t stop either. Another time I was racing my pink huffy bike against my cousin driving a scooter….he won only because, I fell and he ran over my stomach or I am sure I would have won! So needless to say I put my folks through so dozies, before I was even 10!

Wow and then the teenage years! Boys, Broken Hearts, Boobs and did I mention Boys? Yikes, this may only be the beginning of my paybacks! I am sure my husband was a perfect child, that’s what his mom always says at least! But I am convinced that if our son burnt the house down, her response would be” Oh it was so cute, the way he lit the match and torched the house! I needed a new one anyway!” Yes for her he is a perfect child!(We love you Meme) I think it’s because she gets to send him back home with us!

I never understood the true meaning of the words ”Because I said so!” Until I became the one uttering those dreadful words! I use them often although it doesn’t seem to have the same effect as it did when I was a kid. I also did not get the “evil eye”, you know the look, all you had to do was get that look and you KNEW that you need to stop! Or if my folks said my full name (which I wasn't sure they even knew!) …oh boy watch out! None of that works with my son. So here goes another day.......

I forgot what?

Everyday I plan on heading to the gym, first thing in the morning! Committed ( I should be) I know, sounds that way right, at least in my head it does ! I even sleep in my gym clothes somedays! However that sometimes back fires. One morning I jumped out of bed at 5:30am tossed on a sweat shirt and put on my sneakers and thought “Wal La what a great idea, didn’t have to think about what to wear to the gym!” I grabbed my nanner, a water, my keys and ventured out in the dark to hit the gym!

I felt great to be getting this out of the way, starting my day fresh and early! It wasn’t until I was doing my thing on the Ellipical (glider as I call it) I took my sweat shirt off, since I was working up a sweat and felt a jiggle. As I looked down at my white t shirt I noticed ….I forgot my BRA! Well the girls were flappen all over the place, so needless to say I had to SLOW down so I didn’t lose an eye and put my sweat shirt back on and cut the workout short! That wouldn’t be a huge problem for most people and I am by no means well endowed but I got a nice rack a filling “C” cup. They need support that’s for sure! Gotta take care of the girls they are my best asset! I don’t want them hanging to my knees when I hit 50!So no "free boobing" work outs for me had to call it a day! Who knows what else I'll forget!

What do I know.......

Do you ever wonder how you got as old as you are without knowing anything? I sure do! Because apparently at 7 you know everything there is to know! Wow imagine all that time I wasted going to schools all those years ! Actually I think I was at least 14 before I knew it all! If you tell my son it is sunny out, he’ll argue it is cloudy and storming! Some day’s I think he is going to be a lawyer, others I think he’ll be on America’s Most Wanted. Then there are days when the drama is in full effect and I think he could win an Oscar!

We have had our bouts of “terrible two’s”, “troubling three’s”, “fretting fours”, “”frustrating fives” , “Satan six’s” and I was rooting for “SENSATIONAL SEVEN’s’ yeah they’ve been better, but I wouldn’t say sensational! We are too much alike, stubborn, need to be in charge and we are both always right! He is definitely a handful, but I wouldn’t trade him for the world. Most days at least!

I remember while delivering my son, I had my mom and hubby in the room , my mom yelled “AHHH, I don’t wanna see anymore, I’ve seen more then I can handle” This is while I am yelling” No I changed my mind, I don’t want to do this”. I think there was a lot of yelling in the room, but he was out in 20 minutes! The hubby was excited since it was the season finale of “Survivor”! So here we have a perfect little boy, all his fingers and toes are accounted for but I am focused on the size of his head that just came out of my “Ver-J-J”! OUCH!

I had a great room at the hospital, when the nurse came in during the night she took him to the nursery so I could get a good’s night’s rest. If I only knew that was going to be the last good night’s sleep I’d ever get I would have enjoyed it! When I awoke in the morning there was no baby, so I marched my self down to the nursery and flung open the door. BIG MISTAKE! There he was strapped to the table getten his winkie snipped! WOW Didn’t want to see that!

That night I told the nurse when she came in “I don’t think you should send the baby home with me, I don’t know anything about them” I will never forget her response….”Don’t worry they aren’t that fragile , if you drop him a time or so he’ll be okay” . Now I ask you what kind of response is that to give a first time mother, now I have to worry about me maybe dropping him? GEEEZ!

The good news is I never dropped him on accident or on purpose! Not that I DIDN'T WANT to drop him......So hey I guess I’ve done good right? He is going to be 8 in 5 days!Where did the time go! While yes somedays went faster then others I am expecting this to be the “Exceptional Eights!"I think I have earned it!

People always say "Oh you just have one ?"Like it's not normal ! or" Oh what a shame, he's an only child" my response to that is "So was I and I turned out just fine!" Just ask me!

Tools may be required.....

I have to say I understand the whole issue with men and the toilet seat. I mean women complain that they don’t put the seat down, but my arms aren’t broke so after you fall in a time or two you learn to look first! What I don’t understand is when the toilet paper is empty….why is the new roll sitting on top of the empty? It isn’t rocket science to change it , it requires no tools to change it. Maybe that is the problem, they need tools to do it! My husband said while I am on the subject I should write about how the toilet paper should come from the top and hang down. OKAY ….HELLO…. so you do know how it works, and if there is a preference of which way the roll goes…………change it your damn self! Moving on....

The lid on the hamper must require my womanly human strength! Because the clothes end up on top of the hamper instead of in it! In all fairness my husband says I leave “Pepper Trails” from the time I walk in the house I start dropping, keys, purse, shoes, phone all along my way! If I make a drink and set it on the counter I can walk by 2 minutes later and it will be gone! He thinks it’s part of my trail and dumps it out!

I really can’t complain, my husband cleans the house like no other man! When he vacuums the lines are all beautiful and unformed straight lines no foot prints or anything! However when I vacuum the lines are pretty much in a fan, you know where there must have been some dirt or cat hair, crumbs from my son who is not suppose to eat in the living room. Yet crumbs appear magically! Well at least my vacuuming skills leave me, not allowed to mow the grass! OH DARN! That was on my list of things I want to do! He’s afraid I’d lose a finger or toe or maybe even both. I think the concern really is for the grass thou! He wants all the blades of grass to be mowed while I would just do the ones that looked tall! Hey maybe I am a genius! I don’t have to vacuum or mow! Hot damn!

Makeup WHY?

I am trying to figure out why…….why do you do your hair and full face of makeup to hit the gym? I understand that certain gyms are considered a meat market. However that being said the one I attend is not! It’s in a community full of married, middle aged, working class, stay at home mom’s…. ect. It’s not full of hotties that you would want to take home. Well maybe one or two but that’s about it! And yet people still show up all gussied up!

Although , I have noticed no one is gussied up at 5:30 a.m. we all look as if we rolled out of bed and headed there! One person that is not there and will never be there is Slacker! She tells me she’ll think of me as she wakes up at 7! There is no convincing her otherwise! I don’t know maybe she would combust into the ball of flaming gas if she wakes up early , just like if she does more then 30 minutes of exercise! But I guess I will never know! It does get boring thou when I don’t have her there to compare notes with and get her genius advice!

More wisdom from my genius friend , who I think may be a little deluisional because she emailed me to let me know that she had her sneakers on while she was cleaning the house so therefore she feels that she has at least burned 500 calories. Can you image by just having her sneakers on! So by her theory , I have my work out clothes on , I should be burning at least that, just sitting here in my gym clothes typing!

Slacker's wisdom on the gym......

I find it so boring to head to the gym by myself so I love having , my favorite “Slacker” to hit the gym with! She is a riot! Makes our workout fly by! That and she does only 30 minutes. Any more you’d think she was going to combust in to a falling gas ball and explode. On the rare occasions when she is distracted by our gossiping fest and goes over the 30 minutes she has allotted to workout when she notices that STOP button is slapped and she is done! That being said “Slacker” does have great insite thou like today she was wondering “Why….Why would people run on a treadmill?” She had a great point …no one is chasing you, so why would you run? I have to say I envy the people that run , I wish I could run. However I have a huge problem when it comes to running I forget to breathe which I am sure is a requirement to be a runner.

More of “Slacker’s” great advice is when I complain that I am sore from working out………. is not to go to those torture classes! She doesn’t go therefore she doesn’t complain! Makes sense I know! I consider myself fairly fit, I aim to work out about 5 days a week , eat a good diet, I do cardio and weights and it never fails when I take a boot camp class it kicks my ass! It hurts muscles I didn’t even know I had! So as extra punishment today I took Zumba which is a Latin/salsa class. It has great loud Mexican music, the moves are so sexy…that is until you have a roomful of us white girls with no rhythm! We pretty much look like a frog in a blender arms and legs failing all over! But it’s a great workout and now I have even more muscles I didn’t know I had, hurt even more then before!

I tried to explain to “Slacker” that I wanted to lose a few more pounds because the stripe on my workout pants pulls to the front a little from my pouch. More wisdom from her is“ To not buy pants with stripes” HELLO why didn’t I think of that! Mental notes to remember: no pants with stripes, don’t run if no one is chasing you, don’t attend classes of torture on purpose !

Catch the Train

I never really decided what to be when I grew up. Not that I am getting ready to push up daisy’s or anything,( at least I hope not, I just got a FAB-U-LOUS new Cheetah coat and I have matching high heels boots! ) But as I walked around the book store and the library staring at all the random titles of books , that’s when it hit me! I should write a book! I have lots of clever, quirky thoughts that pop in my head all day long why not share them!


When I was in high school I wanted a talk show, it was going to be called “Pep Talk” and I’d have a fantastic wardrobe closet, of course! The down fall to that plan was taking Speech class in college, I discovered I don’t like public speaking! It took me 4 times to finally pass the class, I would drop the class before I had to give my first speech! Funny thing is, I am not shy at all! I have been a waitress since I was about 15! I can talk up a storm to anyone I meet…..just not in a class room with all eyes on me! If I imagined them naked I'd start laughing! Really have you done that, not everyone is a visual you want in your head!

Then it hit me one night as I had another sleepless night with Insomnia. Inside my head is like a train station. I have so many tracks to take, and so many trains going at the same time. I lose the train I’m on and hop on to another cart and travel down a different path. My mind seems to go from one thing to another and I can’t keep up. I have ideas that I obsess on and can’t get away from. This train station is running all night and all day. I wish someone could find the emergency break and pull it already!

So hop aboard because this is all about my train of thought, you might want to hang on because I could jump tracks just like that! I’ve always loved to write, but I am often told I write like I talk. So the grammar may not be perfect,and my spelling is terrible! But in my defense I am a "Bogie Graduate" and ask any of us we can't spell, Facebook has proven that theory time after time!

While I don;t have a plan for this , I'm just winging it! It''s just something new to do!